Related Posts
Anyone going in on VNET?
Just in case you don’t know
Rising Star
Additional Posts in Relationships
Longest dry spell? Single people only!
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
(Genuine answer.) I recommend a therapist, that negative feeling is coming from deep within, not from him.
I want to say thank you again for replying to this post. This was the sanity check I needed and your advice really resonated with me. I needed the push to reflect internally beyond the gut reaction and connect it back to the pattern of feeling this way throughout my life. It’s really helping me adjust my perspective and work on my healing. 😌
If he was making art for his friends and family and was excluding you, then I could see why you'd be upset. But it sounds like he doesn't make art for anyone in his life. People are protective about their art, and it can be weird making art for loved ones. I say let him have his art and create it how and for who he wants. He's not excluding you or trying to hurt you.
I hate that I get it rationally but still emotionally feel sick about it.
his art and that it’s something exclusively for him but I can’t imagine it would be too much trouble to spend about an hour making something that he would be excited to give to me. When eventually talked about me getting sad during that moment, I told him I felt hurt that he doesn’t think to make art for me. He explained that he has never liked making art for people close to him, especially art of those people. Again, I can understand where he’s coming from but it hurts. Today he showed me a portrait he made for a client and while I was happy for him, the hurt has bubbled up again.
Tell him to think about it once in a great while as a treat to keep you both sane, just something small.. a little piece of him to cherish and worship and let him know you're legitimately jealous of it truely and him not liking it as much is so special when he finally gives in and gives you one.. tell him it's like a snack for you or a long awaited desert.. something to look forwards to and kind of tease for, and make sure to ask deeply why he doesn't like to make art for close ones as it may just be an intentional disconnect so he doesn't associate the two as it might be the reverse of what you're feeling in the same aspect as in he feels bad when handing it to you as he's always either thinking it's unfinished, or scared to, or legit he might just be that mindset that it's supposed to be antithesis of special as in he's handing it to make money and it's almost viewed negatively to him so he thinks he's handing you a bad thing when he does that, just like you think he's handing you a good thing when he does that for you. That's the problem i have with therapy is they tell you how to store n bubble away bad things, so im gonna show you the other side and hope you enjoy the advice of how to just work past it and keep those feelings filled by actually feeding them.. it's like a pet, don't neglect the pet.. it'll keep begging, especially since it lives in your mind and has already received treats.. it's a good pet, it's the part that wants to bond more.. so.. simply bond more, hell, say you're sorry and you are a little needy here if you have to.. but you need something to go on, an act to cherish.. he should understand you're looking to connect more to him :) (or hell, show him the comment, you only both want the same thing if im reading this right. Worst thing that can happen is you keep bubbling it in the background and grow to be against something, that ends up in hurt in the end, somewhere.. things don't just go away, it's either helpful or becomes a dark thought you try to hide, those thoughts will keep stacking on both ends of the scale, just work with eachother.)