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Montessori for us. The nice thing is, with going to Montessori you already preselect to a small group of likeminded people. From there it was easy to make friends and we’ve stayed close even after the children left Montessori
It has been difficult for us as well. I am more introverted but it’s important to my wife so we work on it. Once the kid started school it got easier but the intensity of both of our jobs still makes it hard. We have had better luck at our church and work.
Is it what she wants? Some people aren’t wired that way and prefer a few, deep relationships or family vs a larger support system. I know I do. Sure it has risks, but if it feels more natural and comfortable that may be what is right for that person. Be careful to not put your preferences on your spouse.
Most of our best friends we met through church, directly or indirectly. If you’re a member anywhere, look for opps to meet other young couples. You’ll have more in common likely and tends to work well
We struggled with that during the infant and toddler years. But once my oldest started school, we started making friends with families with some of his friends. Certainly not all were compatible just like not all people are compatible to be friends, but it is a large set of people that will love nearby and be dealing with the similar experiences
My wife made friends at Gymboree where we took our kid to play. All his 'friends' are the same age, and the mom's hang out and lean on each other
Parents at daycare / preschool etc
My wife participates in parent/baby groups and has made friends there.
As others have said, this gets MUCH easier when the kids are of school age. But in the early days, we found connections through antenatal classes, playgroups, and chance encounters with friendly parents in the park, etc. were good ways of finding company. You do need to be somewhat accepting that some of these relationships won’t run deep and may be fleeting - after all, in some cases all you have in common is the struggle of being a new parent. But they can help keep you sane during the tough early days, and a few will stick and turn into good friendships.
Have her check out the app called Peanut. We moved to a new city and my wife works from home now. With our first child, 3 months old now, she found it a nice way to meet like-minded mothers nearby (ie. age of children, hobbies, location, etc). She has made a few new friends that way with babies born within a few weeks of ours. It’s really helped out
Im super outgoing but my wife is more introverted, so i worry about her a lot. Trying to make sure she has the social support system she needs and deserves :(
My wife does “MOPS”. Meets tons of helpful supporting people