Bah humbug! got laid off about 6 months ago and I’m struggling to shake the feeling that my career might be “quietly over,” even though I know that’s not rational.
I’ve been applying widely across biglaw, midlaw, and in-house. Some rejections, a lot of silence. The hardest part is the limbo: you can do everything “right” and still feel like nothing is moving, especially around the holidays when everything slows down. Continued below

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I’m sorry you’re going through this. The holidays make it even harder I think, especially if you have a family to provide for.

I’ll share my experience in case helpful:

- Had “the talk” at my firm in a December
- Severance/winddown for the next 3-4 months
- Unemployment and website time for another 6 months
- Got a lowball biglaw offer a month later (11 months from initial talk). When I asked if there was flexibility to increase it they responded by withdrawing the offer.

I then took off a month for the holidays and started the search over after new years (13 months after initial talk). My wife and I decided if I didn’t get an offer by end of the coming spring (1.5 years after initial talk), then we’d just pack up and move in with family.

That spring my top choice had some movement at my level. With all the informal meetings I had with various partners at the firm over the preceding year, they thought of me right away. After an initial catch up / screening meeting, it took two weeks to get and accept my offer. I had been off the website for over six months by then.

As for advice:

Keep networking and keep your head up. The seeds you plant can eventually pay off. In my case it was a slow grind for just under 1.5 years, and then the silence broke nearly immediately and it was smooth like butter. Couldn’t be happier at my new firm.

I did do a couple months of contract work as well before taking that offer. Could have turned that into a full time gig, but wanted to give biglaw another go to see if it was an industry thing or a management thing at my first firm. It was very much the latter. I feel much more respected and valued now than I ever did at my first firm.

I used a recruiter for firms where I didn’t know anyone. Reached out directly where firms I did. I feel like I approached things the best I could at the time, and had the savings to ride it out.

Make sure you sleep lots, drink lots of water, exercise, get outside, etc. Go to therapy. Spend time with friends and family. Take care of yourself so you can do your best in interviews and WHEN you get your next job. Stay focused and be patient. Things will work out eventually. You got this! 💪

likeupliftinghelpful

Thank you so much for sharing this. I have been applying for a few months after a bad experience with the last firm. I have read your response here a few times and feel so encouraged by your experience.

At first I told myself it was just timing and the market. But as the months stack up, the anxiety creeps in and it starts to feel like the walls are closing in. It’s hard not to spiral into “am I damaged goods now” or “did one bad break permanently change my trajectory.”

For anyone who’s been through a long gap after a layoff:

What actually moved the needle for you, in hindsight?

Did you see the silence suddenly break, or was it a slow grind?

Anything you wish you did earlier (recruiters, networking, practice-area pivot, contract work, etc.)?

Not looking for pity, just trying to get perspective from people who have lived it.

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I hear you and would love to connect with you. Apparently I have not kept up my comments and likes on FishBowl and GD so cannot DM y'all yet. Your DM to me would be most welcome and I hope you'll read my words to your first respondent above. You, too, are an excellent writer and showth strength and a truly positive character in your posts. I hope we can connect and I am happy to give my support and share my experiences and ideas from my decade plus in the field and my own recent job search experiences. Best wishes in your search and for a Merry Christmas. I'd write you a more relevant message but broke my hand and cannot seem to get in the swing of typing with my other hand!

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