Confession: The only in-law that I had a great relationship with passed away unexpectedly. The two remaining in-laws were on thin ice with me prior due to years of drama, nagging, and disgusting display of wealth. I believe their demand of money and general assholish behavior drove in law to his death. I love my S.O. but I can’t deal with the drama anymore.

I want to have a family and a future that is drama-free and full of love and don’t want to surround myself with negativity.

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Ooo. Rough. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Do you live near the in laws? Or in another state?
I realized that distance from my SOs side of the family was the only way I could survive.

Before we got married, I thought the in-laws were somewhat tolerable. During wedding planning and after the wedding, I learned how bat-sh*t crazy they really are. Even the nice ones - they’re 100% CRAZY WITH BAGGAGE FULL OF DRAMA AND EXPENSIVE REVENGE. It go so bad, the idea of not being with my SO actually crossed my mind.

My in-laws are the same. I was at the point that If I had heard one more time about someone’s will, or trying to kick a step brother out of the will, or hearing real daughter scream at Mastros because ex step daughter from second marriage is getting $xxxxxxxx, I was going to run away… and I don’t mean that humorously. You know the step mom in the lindsay Lohan version of Parent Trap? Yeah. I didn’t know people like that actually exist in real life. I was a grown adult as a bride-to-be and I was plotting to prank call the step mom the week of my wedding to tell her Chanel Paris Royale was having an invite-only VIP sale (because she’s dumb enough to believe it and she would actually choose that over her husband’s son’s wedding) so she wouldn’t come.

❇️ By no means do I think you should “run away” from your problems, but if you do live near in laws, what do you guys think about being distant? Physically distant. If that’s not feasible… are there boundaries you two together can make? For example, only having dinner at in laws home twice a month. Or, limiting how long you spend time with them at any given function. I was able to compromise with SO and say “only lunches with your dad with a 24 hr notice” “i never want to eat dinner with dad and step mom unless it’s in public at a restaurant, NEVER at their home” and “I’m not going to any baby showers or events of any ‘sibling’ unless you have similar DNA”

❇️ Get a buffer. Meaning: invite a girl friend of yours so the in laws are on their best behavior. That way, all the interrogations/small talk go to the friend. Someone who will speak their language over mimosas and hurry home to sh*t talk with you on the phone.

❇️ See a weekly therapist. My thoughts about ways to deal with the in laws had gotten so bad, I thought about blackmailing one of them to make nagging go away. Instead of going that route, I vented to a therapist each week.

My heart goes out to you 💫

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It is scary how similar our situations are. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️

uplifting

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