Guys, just want to hear your opinion on something/ what a guy would think ): my husband and I rarely argue but we recently have argued a lot more for little things. (See comment)

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Not defending him but guessing he was pretty drunk

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He didn’t drink that that much?

Sounds like you might be maturing / growing up at a faster speed than he is, and he might be clinging on to the days of being young and carefree. Keep a close eye for this as it can cause a serious lifestyle disconnect

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You both should have a talk about your current lifestyle. I think that’s the problem, there’s a disconnect there that needs to be addressed sooner than later.

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First thing I think you’re over reacting second thing I think he was pretty thoughtless and should have shown more concern.

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Thanks a lot for all of your thoughts, always good to hear some objective views!! It’s is hard to be the first one to address the elephant in the room…sort of dragging to talk through it since he’s out

How old are you two and how long have you been married?

Scenario 1 - it seems like you both need to work on communication and trust. There’s always a hint of truth in every joke (or something like that), and the way you wrote it makes it seems like it bothered you that he (while being married) wanted to go in. Even if it was very little annoyance. On the other hand, he can communicate better and not react that way.

Scenario 2 - he is in the wrong, you were feeling poorly and he kept clubbing until 5am. I understand you didn’t want to ruin the night for him, but that’s not something acceptable IMO. Not because you are a woman who needs to be taken care of, but because you are his partner who wasn’t feeling well.

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Thanks Director 1! I think it’s just a stage to at I need to go through… it’s a really awkward stage that most friends are getting married and move on to a no partying lifestyle while we’re hanging out with the younger folks who are single. All of them were shocked how we would still go out till 4-5am

Incident 1: We weren’t allowed to go clubbing in Canada yet because of covid but there’s this bar we went to that’s giving out “VIP wrist brand” to go clubbing in a private room. There’re 10 of us and I got the group 2 wristband and we took turn going in. All the guys (with gfs) all refused to go in on their own said there’s no point, but my husband is the only guy in a relationship (other than the single guys) who are desperate for that wristband to get in. So I jokingly tell my husband that “you’re the only guy who’s married but you’re the only one who just wanted to go in and party” I don’t meant to pressure him to not go but just more as a comment and trying to funny. he got rid of his wristband and didn’t want to go in after and said “If you don’t let me go I just won’t go” I honestly was just saying that as a funny comment rather than not letting him go (I got the wristband myself and went into the VIP room for 10 mins too and I’m the one who put it on for him) I always joke abt different things but I just don’t get why he got so upset lol I was extremely upset because I hate getting yelled at in front of my friends. thoughts?

Incident 2: Then the week I got a bad stomachache from drinking. (It actually hurts so much during the night that I thought about going to the ER) I wanted him to have fun so I asked him to stay and I uber home myself. He didn’t bother texting me 1. If I got home safely or whether or not 2. And when he roamed back home at 5AM I was like “did you have fun” all he said was “I am tired can we talk later” I got so upset because he didn’t even ask if I feel okay or if I am okay? And then he felt like I was being contradictory because I just didn’t want him to go out. What I wanted was just someone after they came home to have the decency to check up on me and see if I am okay. Is it too much to ask?

Disclaimer: he’s usually pretty caring- but these isolated incident really piss me off big time. / also, he’s been under a lot of stress at work so I don’t know if it’s something I should just take it and let it go?

Guys, what are your thoughts?

I’m up at 5am with the stomach pain still so I knew he came home. Haha I know, when we go out I usually come home early too before him cuz I couldn’t stay up that late anymore

Theme here. He (warranted or not) gets the sense that you don’t always approve of him going out without you. He is prioritising you but is still bothered.

If he came home at 5am, could easily just be tired af.

But he always go out without me though and I don’t usually say anything this are the two isolated incidents. Part of me I guess is also feeling that all the other married guys have decided to drop out of the group and we are the only one partying still (with Mostly a bunch of single guys and 2 friends who recently got engaged) I think part of it is also just feeling like we’re entering this stage where people are getting kids, trying to be healthy while the two of us are still drinking till 5am (but I usually come home early myself first and I don’t say a thing if he comes late other than the time I’m sick)

Should I have apologized for what I’ve said the night before in incident 1? Urgh.

Regardless of the situation, you seem really stressed out. Talking to him about both situations might take the load of your shoulder.

No worries! I just think if you’re so stressed out, just talk to him :)

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Does this only happen when you guys go out drinking? Like getting a bad stomach from drinking so much…

Thank you! Appreciate your advice

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