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Rising Star
she’s right and has every right to feel that way
Rising Star
lol take a 2 second swab vs cancel a vacation...your choice OP
Chief
Sorry OP, but you sound like the “hypersensitive” one...considering not going on a family vacation just because an older woman, your husband’s mother, wants people to get a simple test to ensure no one puts others at risk. I would do anything to put my parents at ease, that’s because I love them. I would do the same for my husband. Ps. The virus will be around for a while, you never know when it will affect your family. Cherish these times while you still have the opportunity.
Ooo this is a major projection of someone else’s issues. Sorry for your personal experiences. Love my MIL, just experiencing a disagreement.
Chief
I understand how you feel, but your MIL should have the right not to be exposed to people who haven’t been isolated & tested if she is not comfortable with it. The chances are likely minuscule that any of you are infected, but being wrong could be a life or death mistake.
My parents are totally quarantined, but not nearly as paranoid about it—my mom had flu symptoms in March and I had to convince her to talk to a nurse and get tested (it came back negative).
My parents have said I can come over and we can just stay six feet apart, and said they would come to a “socially distanced” outdoor family party if we had one. Everyone is different, and I think their views and risk tolerance should be respected.
Chief
Why are you fighting with me CEO, I was agreeing with you and now you’re arguing against your initial statement. I think it’s absurd to not just get the damn test, it is such a simple task to appease your MIL, OP insists she has been safe, there is still a small chance OP could have it from something like the mail, a test will show if she in fact does not have it, then she can prove her own point to herself that she has been isolated and safe. I think this whole argument is irrational and stupid, just get the damn test.
I’m not sure what you’re looking for. Will you feel better if we tell you that your MIL is overreacting? Will you feel better if we assure you the test isn’t a big deal, take one and enjoy your vacation? Or are you just looking for an opportunity to vent?
Pro
re-brand the vacation as a “protest.” the rona doesn’t affect those
Chief
Don’t you get tired of clinging to that?
Pro
If there were no COVID-19, I would invent it to get out of a family vacation like that.
Enthusiast
Everyone should get tested before the trip. When our baby is born later in the year, we, my parents and in-laws will all be tested before they are allowed to see the baby.
Enthusiast
I am with In laws now and did get tested before the visit for peace of mind. If it’s too much trouble don’t go, but don’t be surprised if her son goes without you to hang with his family...
Enthusiast
Then the two of you can stay home. If this decision hinges on a test you’re unwilling to take for the sake of bringing peace of mind to your MIL then best you don’t go and keep that kind of energy to yourself and your husband.
Rising Star
You should get tested.
Rapid tests are not reliable though
This is probably gonna sound super dumb from a guy who isn’t an attorney and thus knows nothing about the court system outside of Law & Order (that, and this could also probably be seen as a fallacious analogy), but as an attorney, do you not appreciate more concrete evidence instead of conjecture or whatever it is? You have two weeks, so even if the test takes a week to get results back, you’re good. But the results themself are proof of your negative diagnosis, much more so than your admirable, albeit unproven outside of your personal testimony, social distancing efforts.
Just playing (a likely ignorant) Devil’s advocate here. I’d argue that the argument against getting tested is more taxing and time-consuming than just going out and actually getting tested one time, which to me isn’t worth the output. But to each their own, of course, OP. Whatever you and your husband decide is your choice, and that should be respected no matter what.
I think one issue for your MIL is that two people can both say they’re being “careful,” but have completely different definitions of what “careful” means.
I’m high risk due to a medical issue, and for me “careful” means not leaving my house/backyard. A close friend said she’s being “careful” and, in the same breath, told me that the haircut she just got was okay because everyone was wearing a mask.
Your MIL may hear that you’re “isolating” but wants the test as an impartial arbiter of whether your definition and scope of “isolating” is enough to keep her safe.
Why not get tested?
OP is so argumentative in this thread. Can’t imagine them taking issue with a simple request to protect the health of elderly relatives...
Go get tested. Be warned they’re taking 7+ days for results now
Are your in-laws worth the inconvenience? Lol, ijs if they’re entertaining and you enjoy their company, go get tested. But if they’re lame...I mean, sounds like a pretty sweet excuse to me
Chief
Tell her you did and move on.
Wow 😳 worst advice ever
Chief
MIL doesn’t sound that worried, if she’s going on vacation anyways.
Either way if you don’t want to do the test, don’t do the test. If she uninvites you, so be it.
Pro
[puts on psychologist hat] OP, I am struck by the fact that you still haven’t left your house since April. Even my friends and family in Queens and Brooklyn who were most strictly closed in before have ventured out in at least small if not bigger ways. Perhaps you are not yet comfortable with jumping from literally not leaving the house to going on a vacation (a big leap) and have made this about your MIL rather than your own reservations?
CS1 👏🏻
What’s the big deal? In order to see our grandparent in a long term care home we need to show a positive test. Do you want to see them and go on a vacation or not? Everyone has a different risk tolerance when it comes to this virus, dependent upon their own personal circumstances. I would respect how others are feeling and do what I can to ease their concerns or not go at all.
My issue with this is that it’s now taking 7+ days to get results back. At that point, why even bother? By the time you see your family enough time has gone by that you likely would have symptoms and you wouldn’t know if you had been exposed in the days leading up to the trip..
Nah, the test is really safe. I drove up to a rite aid, they handed me the test kit through the pharmacy window, and I did it myself in the car. You just hand it back and drive away.