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Hi Fishes,
I have applied for BNP Paribas, Command center lead role from LinkedIn. Though it is only 3 days,I didnt receive any updates till now. My only concern is in one post it says no more applications accepted and other post it says actively hiring.
Please help job id BNP022012.
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Chief
Can we refer interns for Mumbai office?
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2.5 year old... 7:30 to 8ish. We recently got back from India, there were a couple of days when she was up till 9/10... wasn't necessarily fussy but it was a little tough to get her down to sleep once we got back home as she was overtired. Our return flight was at 2am, she was up the whole time 😓 but was knocked out as soon as we boarded and slept for a good 8 hour period. We try to stick to her bed time most days but don't stress too much about about a couple of days here and there (especially when we travel)
11 month old and bedtime has been 7:30-8:00 since he was 4 months old. He wakes up at 7:30am no matter how late he sleeps. At this age he needs 11 hours minimum so putting him to bed later means his needs are not met. We choose to prioritize his needs over ours. We are currently spending 2 months in India (we are from Bombay) and people think we are crazy. Kids don’t sleep till as late as 11 pm or 1 am. I saw a 6 month old at a cocktail party at a club until 3 am.
Do what works for your family. A lot of people won’t agree with a lot of your parenting decisions. It’s not your job to explain your parenting decisions to others.
1AM is like next day! Wow! My toddler also will wake up at 6 AM no matter when he sleep so we try to put him to put early to give him time to get enough rest.
Chief
“Sleep consultant” 😂🤣
Chief
I thought your kid is your sleep consultant
Conversation Starter
We discovered early if we artificially put our kids to bed early they were up 430/5 am. We let them fall asleep around 830/9 and they slept until 630/7. Didn’t care one bit what others thought or random parenting advice
What's artificially putting to bed? Infants and toddlers do not have sleep cycles formed and it depends on how we as parents schedule their sleep cycle. I am glad your schedule is working for you, but artificial sleep is not what we practice.
Pro
Screw what other people want you to do, do what works for your family
Im not a parent, but what's a sleep consultant? I've never heard of that before
We are both working and no family support here in US. In order to manager morning travel, we have to drop our 18 months kid to daycare before 8, so we have to make him sleep by 7-7:30 pm.
For these parties, we either take our kid if we are going to a close friend and we know they will have room for us, else we do a night time babysitter. Our parent still dont get the concept of night time babysitter.
What I an trying to say is each family’s situation is different, and you do what works best for you. Working and living in US with a toddler is different than what sometime few Desi family expect.
Similar situation except we have lot of family who are not helpful. Toddler goes to full time daycare at my husbands workplace from 8 AM to 4 PM. We have family time from 4 to 7 PM and 6 to 8 AM, and then I have calls starting 7 PM and husband picks up work. Our family finds it hilarious that we all eat our dinner at 5:30 PM with the toddler and close kitchen by 6 PM.
7pm. 2 boys. 5 and 3
I feel a disciplined schedule has been working great for us. I’d like to continue this until kids grow up. I don’t care about night events and can skip. Exceptions are okay though (something important to attend etc) Thx
7:30pm, 25 month old. Maintained this from the onset, working out well for us.
1 year old. 7-7.30 pm. You do you 💪
23 mo old with exact same situation. My daughter was born colic and didn’t sleep for first 3 months at all. Messed her sleep scheduled. We got a sleep consultant and she recommended putting a schedule which we did. She is in bed by 730 pm. Our social life has taken a hit but nothing is more important than that child’s sleep. Focus on that, not on your friends guilt trips. I’d they are your real friends, they’ll understand.
18 month old - around 8.30 pm - 9:00 pm
I would’ve liked for it to be earlier but my husband and I lack the discipline lol
I think you’re good and the additional 2 -3 hours after your babies sleep is golden
We have two boys 5yo and 3yo. They generally sleep by 7.30. But their sleep schedule is flexible if we need to go meet friends and their kids or dinners. Our kids wake up the same time regardless of what time they sleep so sleeping late and wake up late really did not work for us. When they were younger and not as flexible with sleep schedule we would plan things around their sleep schedule. Its not going to be fun managing a tired cranky kid when ur out if you force them to stay up late. Also, kids sleeping early works for us, gives us some time as a couple. Do what works for you guys, sleep schedule should get flexible in another 9-12months.
Thank you all! This makes us feel so much better. I really thought we were anomaly in desi parenting and took the tiger parent comment to heart. My toddler is very difficult if he is overtired and then makes it difficult for us as well so we prefer not to mess with his schedule so that we can also enjoy the event sans toddler meltdown or him wanting to grab something crazy like a holiday candle!
It’s cultural bias, do what’s right for your child, yours, and your spouse
OP - You are doing it right. Research shows that adequate sleep and a disciplined bedtime really helps the kids during their formative years, not just in brain development but also mental health.
My son’s bedtime also used to be 6:30pm when he was a baby. We too gladly gave many parties a miss, or 1 parent stayed home or got a babysitter. Now at 10yr s old, it’s 8:30 pm - 6:30 am with exceptions on Fridays or Saturdays. It’s worked out great so far!
This is so helpful! Gives me so much hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We socialize quite a bit and have 3 trusted baby sitter so we always feel comfortable leaving our toddler at night with them but the hate we are getting for not getting the toddler to these family events is making me question if I am somehow messing up. We still go for lunches and family brunches with the toddler but just don't want to mess his sleep cycle with these long and late dinners.
Conversation Starter
Question for parents of kids who are sleeping around 7 - how do you manage spending time with them if they sleep so early? We get home from work around 7, so not sure when we would spend time with them if they sleep so early.
We spent a lot of quality time on weekends. And that has worked for us
@OP - you will get plenty of hatred from inexperienced individuals (singles) and parents who have passed that phase and kids are self reliant so it’s all good.. do what works for you..
Second - sleep cycle will change as child starts to grow, hits milestones, goes to day care, goes to kindergarten…. So sleep consultant advise may not work all the time.. just telling you what’s coming your way
As someone said , if you end up taking your kids to party be selective where you can accommodate baby’s need and people’s expectations.. it’s absolutely fine to prioritize your kid
It’s okay if social gathering slows down a bit, everything will comeback to place … it’s a phase and everyone who becomes parents goes through it..difficult to make single friends understand, difficult to make parents understand who had family supports and have passed that phase while you and your spouse manage things by yourselves
Thank you. I am looking forward to a stage when my toddler won't have a meltdown if we don't give him knife that was lying on the table because he wants to cut apples 😒. It not just about us, it becomes really difficult and embarrassing to manage my toddler when he is overtired. Your words give me hope that there light at end of the tunnel.
Our 20 month old is in his crib by 7pm. We have had the exact same bedtime routine since he was a month old. We keep the same routine even when we go visit grandparents and when people come over, we respectfully ask them to leave by 6ish or invite them only after 7:30 ish when the baby is asleep.
We also get a sitter when we have to go out and do not care about what other people have to say about it
We usually get a trusted baby sitter or one of us go for such late events but it's getting really annoying when we are being labeled as tiger parents for just refusing to bring our toddler to a dinner as late as 8 PM. We don't want to mess our toddlers sleep schedule. He just doesn't do well and as a result we also don't do well the next day. My non desi friends and coworkers follow similar arrangement but curious what desi families do and how they manage family events.
@OP, totally hear you. As a parent who have gone through similar situations, I can tell that you do what is suitable for your family’s situation and what is best for your toddlers. You can never make everyone happy, so the more you get affected by what other people are saying during these events you are only going to make yourself unhappy. As long as you are doing your family’s schedule in the right spirit and with the right goals, don’t let other people views affect you so much. That’s the key in maintaining your mental health sane, along with a demanding work and family life.