Do you concept with your partner almost all the time? I know some people like to brainstorm alone to bring thoughts to their partner. But my new partner constantly wants to brainstorm alone. When I try to build on an idea they bring, they always say “I’ll think about it later” and I say “Why don’t we work it out together now?” I don’t feel like this is a partnership because of the “my ideas” and “their ideas” division. Discouraged because in my interview, I said I loved collaboration over Zoom.

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Brainstorming alone first is crucial

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I/we have always brainstormed alone first, then came together to work out the ideas. I can’t stay on a path if someone is throwing ideas at me.

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I strongly prefer to think alone first and believe that’s important.

But then when you do come together and share and refine your thoughts, they’re no longer yours, they belong to both of you. It’s definitely weird behavior on their part to be controlling like that. I can imagine that must be really frustrating. Sorry you’re having to deal with that.

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By concepting/brainstorming, do you mean thinking up new ideas from scratch, or building on initial thoughts each of you have had? Because as a few people here have said, it's generally easier to think up a brand new idea on your own, then gather to collaborate.

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Maybe encourage them to tell you any thoughts they had that didn’t go anywhere then brainstorm off of those. They may be precious about their ideas if they think they’re already fully thought through. Working on half-thoughts could be a good starter to show them the benefits of talking things out.

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How long have you been working together? Could just be you need to work out the kinks and figure out how you can work best together.

We both brainstorm by ourselves first (which I like), but after sharing the ideas, my partner wants to independently build on ideas that they came up with.

eek. Sounds selfish. Do they ever include your builds in the ideas? Might be worth trying to find out what they think they get out of your partnership. Worst case you might find out they don't actually want a true partnership.

He doesn’t want you ruining his precious ideas

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