First kid on the way and I feel I have no clue about when to think about daycare, schooling etc. someone told me they started looking for schools when the mom was pregnant and I freaked! Need help...

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First off congratulations!

Second: Take a breath. Focus on taking care of your wife and supporting her through a very challenging time. She is going through something that is men can’t even imagine. You will have plenty of time to figure these other things out at the appropriate point. Spend your time in the now and enjoy these moments. You’ll regret it if you don’t. Everything will work out as it should.

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Depends on the city. In DC, people put themselves on day care waiting lists when they get engaged to be married. Yes, it can take 4 years to move off some of these lists. You need a plan, it can’t wait until your paternity leave is about to finish. Applications for private school (yes, there are applications and interviews of parents and children even for some pre-k and kindergarten private schools) start the prior school year before your child will start. Stay current with immunizations and dentist visits. Those are likely required before showing up for school.

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Congratulations! Start by planning out how you’ll manage childcare after birth. Will your wife be in maternity leave? If so, for how long? Will you have help from any set of parents? Once your wife returns to work, what’s the plan? Your choices can include - grandparents watching the kid, daycare, nanny. If it’s one of the latter two then you may want to at least explore options - some daycares have limited spots and you may want to find one that’s convenient for you and your wife. For us, daycare wasn’t an option since they require pickup by 6:30 and if you miss that a few times then you’re kicked out of the daycare. We hired a full time nanny but didn’t start looking until we were 1-2 months from having her start. You may want to make a list of categories that are important to you. Like a true consultant, I created a weighted average spreadsheet of all things that matter and on a scale of 1-10 how important these were (caring, cost, vaccinated, willing to clean home, willing to cook, etc.). We put up posts on multiple sites to search for a nanny (care.com, Mom groups on Facebook, our local temple, etc.) did an initial screen in the phone to determine if they fell within our budget and actually sounded genuine. Ultimately interviewed over 20 and picked one and the spreadsheet failed me. The first nanny was a bust and we had to fire her and after tweaking the weights on the spreadsheet we called our 2nd choice a few months later and hired her and she’s been with us for over a year.

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8 weeks paternity leave D1.

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...on where and when to start etc. for context I’m an immigrant so not sure about the schooling system in the US. Studied in a private school abroad and looked at prices here and my head did a double flip?!? Any recommendations for reliable sources on what do for you kids at each stage of life - when to start daycare, schooling etc.?

This is all pretty city specific. Ask parents in your office

Sounds like DC daycares are too few and underpriced. Doesn’t seem like there should be significant barriers to entry. What’s going on?

Thanks a ton guys! Feeling definitely better now! I guess as a starting point, going to reach out to folks in the office who just had a baby and take it from there, keeping the above points in mind while talking to them :-)

Sorry to hijack the thread a bit but would you share what BCG’s paternity leave is?

If you’re in a major city you’re already behind if you’re not on a wait list. Used to live in Philly and we got a call when my son was 3 about a spot opening up. We applied when my wife was 3 months pregnant

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