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'An Empirical Analysis of Racial Differences in Use of Police Force' by Roland Fryer
Link to study:
https://scholar.harvard.edu/fryer/publications/empirical-analysis-racial-differences-police-use-force
Some bullets:
- Blacks 53% more likely to experience any use of force relative to 15% for whites
- All controls available, officers 46.6% less likely to discharge firearms before being attacked if suspect is black.
- Black officers are more likely to shoot unarmed whites, relative to white officers.
- Blacks are 21% less likely to report voluntary interaction with police than whites.
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I feel like in your 20s this is ok. However, I’m 29 and I’ve seen the shift in myself already. Now, I have (and desire to maintain) a healthy mix between significant other and friends (no drugs, and healthy amounts of alcohol). I used to drink and black out with friends/colleagues but don’t have the desire to anymore, I’ve had enough drinks in my life to be mature about it, and to be completely honest it took a few months of us being drunk for fun with friends to become comfortable being chill just us two 99% of the time. If it’s bothering you and you’re not on the same page, it’s worth a chat and maybe even giving her some space to realize she misses you. The phrase - absence makes the heart grow fonder- comes to mind. I’m not saying that’s a game to play forever at all, but more like giving her a chance or two to realize what she has, and to maintain that realization for the long term. If that doesn’t work she might not be ready for a serious relationship to be completely honest.
You shouldn’t have to give up friendships for a S.O.
If she’s partying every weekend with booze, drugs, other dudes, and not you, well, ummm.....Never mind. Yup. I’m sure it’s totally cool and platonic 😉
Date me instead
You can’t change a person. So many marriages fail because people think they can change someone.
That lifestyle won’t change, if she doesn’t get a handle on it now and if you are planning long-term with her...... it’s a long, hard road. Been there done that.
This. It may look cool in her 20s but she’s going to have spent all her money and time on nonsense with nothing to show for it in her 30s and 40s. She will end up looking 40 at 30
You are not fun enough for her. She probably dates you because you are nice and willing to spend more on rent, and end of the day if none of the fun boys are willing to take her, there’s a safety net.
EY9 it takes a cold heart for a cold heart
Time with the wrong person is time wasted. It’s also time you could be spending looking for someone who aligns with your future goals. Speaking from experience. I spent my 20s dating one person who I had hoped to marry. In retrospect, I should have acknowledged the signs earlier and moved on.
I spent my 20’s dating the wrong people too. Regret the time wasted. It gets harder to date as you get older. Currently single. Time is ticking to still be “young”ish and have a family
Y’all are being so dramatic. Yes, some people never grow up, but depending on her age, morals, and life goals for herself... people grow out of that phase with time. It gets tiring, you don’t bounce back like you used to, it gradually feels less important than other things you want in life... I’m 27 and things probably started slowing down about a year ago. If you really love the girl and she’s worth waiting for, give her the courtesy of asking her how she sees the next few years of her life before listening to all these judgey people. My long term bf gave me the chance to live and have fun (within healthy amounts) with zero judgement and I’m thankful for that. If anything his patience drew me closer to him when that lifestyle started getting old. If addiction is starting to come into the picture, that may change things. But harmless partying within reason... that should be expected in your 20s.
I agree with RSM1 - sounds like major cuckhold threat
Otherwise she’s everything I’ve wanted, just not sure how long I can deal with the weekend long drug/alcohol use. FYI don’t personally have an issue w that lifestyle, only wanting to spend more time with the person
Aw so cute just give it time
Have you talked to her about it? If you’ve explained what you’re looking for and she doesn’t seem interested in any sort of change (not talking a 180, but gradual changes) then I’d consider how much time you’re willing to invest in the relationship.
You can't make a party ho a housewife
I’d say depends on their current age and how they were in the past. I’d say most of us all get tired of it, just at different ages and times and there are a slew of factors that go into it. There are some exceptions, talk to her, see what she says.
I broke up with a drug dealer for those reasons. It’s exhausting to keep up
OH lmao nah my man sold coke
How old is each of you? What kind if drugs is she doing?
The coke part scares me but what do I know? I drink a gallon of wine each weekend.....
Idk I started to calm down around 27.
You already know the answer. Block her now before it gets worse