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Social anxiety is super stressful, I totally get that. For me, every time I start to think about my anxiety (which makes me more anxious), I tell myself I'm just meeting with some friends. I treat the interviewers like they are friendly, nice people I haven't seen in a while. That way I go in with a smile, a friendly demeanor, and positivity. I know it sounds silly, but it really works for me and it might work for you too
I have anxiety when it comes time to ask for a raise. I force myself to do it, but I can tell I don't sound very confident when these conversations are happening. I usually get a raise because I'm willing to ask for one and I've earned it.
Coach
Preparation, and anger can also be helpful. I don’t mean to be angry at the other person, but rather to channel your anger to fight for what you’re worth.
It helps me to have talking points because my social anxiety often acts like test anxiety in meetings. Do research on the average salary for that role based on location and experience in that field, put together some quick talking points to refer to and bring them with. It also does help to go smidgen high on the negotiation as they will go low. E.g. 10 years experience for this role in this state is 78k average per industry standards, but I am willing to negotiate. Chatgpt can help with talking points for salary negotiation and salary suggestions. Let them give their amount and land where is fair and not below or low end of standards. Best of luck and congrats on the new role!
From one extreme introvert with social anxiety to another, I send you all the good vibes!! When I interviewed for my current role, I was prepared for and dreading the salary negotiation part. Fortunately, the salary was more than I expected, and they said their budget was strict and were firm on that amount. I had no complaints!! 🙃 So I have no personal experience on this. But I would recommend being really prepared and rehearse all the scenarios over and over.
I’ve heard when being hire or starting a newer position when they say “The pay is 50,000 “you should ask
“Is that the most you can offer me, I was thinking 55000, and he’ll come back later with whatever, when we’re kids we’re trained not to ask for things n be polite n it is hard at first practice to ask. Practice
Mentor
I feel you. I get really anxious when I have to talk about myself or interview. It helps me when I write out what I want to say.
When Im in a meeting via Teams, I write it and refer to my notes. I suppose you can do that with a notebook if meeting in person.
Just think of it as a normal conversation, My routine goal is to turn all my interviews into conversations. Interviewers really see your true value through conversation versus just questions and answers.
Hi there!
A few simple steps you can take to ensure you are fully prepared
Compensation is tied to the cost of labor in a given market. For example, Hawaii has a high cost of living, but salaries there are often lower than in cities like Seattle, SF, or NYC—because local labor markets drive pay rates.
Here’s how to prepare for a compensation conversation:
Do your research. Look at what similar companies (in your industry and region) are paying for your role and experience.
Match location and job type. Ensure you're comparing roles in markets and companies similar to yours.
Finally, reflect on your performance. If your most recent review was strong, and market data supports it, then you have a solid case to bring to your manager.
Lastly, if your company practices pay transparency, ask your manager if you can see what the compensation range is for your new role.
It is also perfectly acceptable for you to ask questions via email, in advance of your meeting re: this topic. You can do so sharing you are a terrible advocate for yourself, and are hoping to make the conversation as constructive as possible by having some key questions addressed in advance of the comp discussion.
Good luck!!
Practice talking g to yourself, write it down first, make sure to have everything in order before you start. I have had to do alot of speaking and I have super bad anxiety. Trust me it works and yes u still gone be nervous but you will do great! Let me know if that helps.
Honestly negotiations get easier the more that you do them. The key is confidence. You have to go in and confidently ask for what you deserve. And always ask for higher than where you want to land because you have to assume they are going to counter.
Focus on how your past experience will benefit the new team. Will you save money/time, help improve an existing process, how your skills match up. Then assign value to that based on market comps. Completely agree with others that you should research comparable positions for data points (your employer will have this also). Then just stand up for your skills and what you offer. Bullet point your talking points. If you have a close friend or family member or counselor, consider a trial run with them. At the end of the day, it is just a number. Practice out loud. Then do it. What‘s the worst that can happen? You are worth it!
I have been told to be myself, but in some interviews, it's not the case. Professionalism is sometimes what they're looking for in am employee. Start with a baseline. The job: the requirements they're looking for in a leader, a workaholic, or someone smart with customer service skills and knowledge of what your selling or buying and trying to achieve for your company to make it higher than the other companies. Do research before walking in to a room full of " know it alls" and she them you do " know it all!"
Sorry...show them that you, " Do, know it all !"
See, I don't have a title. They are just something markets give an employee to make them feel important... Not the vase. Be yourself. Your name is what goes on the letter head of the fantastic report you are about to give and floor them with. You know already what the company wants. And now you have to ask people what they want from the company. Nobody likes assumptions. Get and give the facts
You are worth much more then you think you are! Believe in yourself you got this! And weather you believe it or not GOD LOVES YOU! rest in that fact. Have a Blessed life.
I would advise you to find yourself a life coach.. I'm going to be direct and straight to the point.... if you're not comfortable walking into the negotiations table and confident negotiating, there's a strong chance you're not ready to hold a management role as this kind of position requires an extrovert personality. You have to be either a natural extrovert, an introvert/extrovert, or an introvert who can dawn the persona of an extrovert. I've been in leadership roles for almost 2 decades now and I can tell you if you can't sell yourself to someone in a few short interviews and negotiations you can't sell yourself to those expecting to follow. Life coaching can really push you in the right direction but for now if I was in your position I would either turn down the promotion or ask to have it postponed under the excuse of wanting to fulfill your current role and obligations to the end.
I hear you. I recommend you write down all of the qualities and experiences that merit a higher salary. Make the case. And if the salary won’t get you there, ask for other things. More vacation, a signing bonus, dedicated professional development funds, flexible schedule, etc., etc. Write it all out and, if necessary, respond in writing.
You’ve got this. Stand firmly in your self-worth.
The best way to prepare for that would be to make sure to have your best accomplishment at previous employers. Also try to think of 1 or 2 times you were challenged on your job, what was the circumstance, how did you handle it? And what was the outcome?
Positive and negative experiences with co-workers, how did you handle that? Lastly be yourself!
There are a few things you can do to prepare - first, do you have what I'd call a "support network" - people who have your back that can help get into the managers ear so to speak to make sure they understand how great you are (and worth the $) There's another process I write in my book that helps you put yourself in their shoes and think about their care abouts- so when you know what's important to them you are better prepared to see their side of things, and influence. Is it someone who can take a lot of their plate? Something else? Speak to their pain points so they'll pay to have less stress in their world if you can take the reins. Reharse with a friend. Have them be the "bad cop" and practice. This is KEY and where most people fail. I'm finishing up a book on negotiation so I'm happy to share the chapter on prep once it's published ;)