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It’s normal to out grow people and if they gossip about everyone, please believe you are on that list as well.
I’ve had an issue like this but with a family member. Never had anything positive to say about anyone or just in general. I think it’s best to have the conversation and let them know that negative energy is draining. Also If they considered talking to someone bc it may be something internally that they are going through. I hope it works out for you but I would also distance myself from them. It’s overwhelming and can negatively impact your state of mind.
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For people like this, and it depends on what they’re complaining about, I generally say something along these lines: “I’ve noticed we talk about this issue a lot and I want to be supportive but I think resolving it is beyond what I have capacity for as a friend since my advice and listening hasn’t worked previously. Are you planning to change your approach to dealing with it?” Sometimes when people complain, they get stuck in a loop and don’t hold themselves accountable for what they can change.
For people who gossip, I don’t engage and I direct the conversation back to them. For example, if someone brings ip Ashley getting cheated on, I’d say “I’m sorry to hear that and I hope she’s able to figure out what’s best for her. How is your new job going?”
It’s also perfectly normal to outgrow friendships. It hurts but people grow at their own pace and many lack self-awareness.
I have a friend like this.. I’ve brought up in conversations how complaining about the same thing over and over gets tiring. They said sometimes they just need to vent and have a listening ear.. I’ve stopped giving them any advice. I just listen and try to direct the conversation to something else..
I'd have the conversation. During the convo definitely express how you feel about how they speak to you, about others, and general pessimistic comments. Encourage them to change how they view things and how they express it through words and actions. If it's ongoing beyond that, I'd distance myself. You have to look out for you, too, even if you've known them since forever.
You’ve outgrown this person. You have to divorce your friends sometimes and everybody isn’t meant to be in your life forever!
Also if this person talks about everybody, you are likely being talked about too cause he/she knows your business. They tell other people’s business cause their life is boring or f-up.