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what age did you get married?
It is hard to recognize a healthy relationship when you are used to toxic ones. This is what happened to you; you didn’t think it was working because you weren't used to someone being genuinely interested in you. He knew he deserved better, and that’s why he left. Sometime things are not going to go our way; we are in a world full of different people and personalities. Next time, just make sure you identify yourself when you’re messing up your own relationships just because it's not what you're used to, and sometimes what you're used to is not what you need.
Thanks and I think I need therapy too except it’s so hard to find a good therapist and they’re so damn expensive lol good luck to you too!!
Pro
Don’t be hard on yourself. I’ve seen this story before.
He’s a good caring guy, he liked you but I don’t think he was ever going to take it any further. He was in a sweet spot with what you had. If he ever did have strong feelings he would have reconsidered (considering it was only a week and not 6 months). Yes there are switches but usually they are significant trigger points (morals, family, beliefs etc), and this isn’t one of those.
You’ll find him single 5 years from now. Just tell yourself you dodged a bullet. Stay in the game and you’ll find someone wonderful.
Pro
Take this napkin, your obvious contempt for men is dripping.
Pro
Not being a jerk, but are you saying him consistently following up to schedule dates and being present and thoughtful while on the date lacks proof he's interested?
As far as the physical portion. I think women have been done a disservice in being told "Guys go after what they want and are assertive in all aspects"
I'm ultra cautious when it comes to getting physical with a woman the first few times because the reward is not worth the risk. So I let her drive that area maybe the first 2 or 3 interactions.
In other words, I think it's safe to say he's into you.
That’s a fair point!
I have been his shoes before and once someone tells me they’re not interested I immediately lose interest in them. I don’t do second chances for this sort of thing either. Makes perfect sense to me
Agreed! I think I’m the same way but thought guys are a bit different but maybe we’re not that different after all lol
Pro
When you are still getting to know someone, texting/communication should be fairly minimal and should build naturally over time. So as long as he's initiating dates, then he's into you. From the replies, sounds like you rejected him and he took that as face value and didn't want to play games. Next time just be sure you want to break things off before actually pulling the trigger.
Thanks for the input! Yea now I feel kinda stupid that I did it but nothing else I can do
You ditched him and now you are surprise he does not come back like a good puppy. Do you really need us to explain that to you?
Of course he liked you. Turns out he also has self esteem.
That makes a lot of sense! Glad that majority of people thinks that he did like me cause I started questioning my judgements lol
I am a woman and if a man did that to me I would have not wanted to talk to him anymore. So even if I were really into him, him breaking it off and wanting a second chance would not have made me reconsider cause now in my mind I’m like “well he didn’t really like me to begin with since he broke it off and now he says he does. To hot and cold for me”. So he liked you and invested the time and he might still like you to a certain extent but not enough to resume things given uncertainties. I get it. Dating is hard and sucks. Hang in there!
Yea tbh I prob would say no if I were him too.
Sorry running out of space in the post. He seems to remember little details of me too like the color of my nails when we first met. Anyways, fast forward, I feel like we might not be that compatible personality wise so I broke it off with him. He seemed pretty calm when I said it and said he thinks I deserve better. A week later I realized that I actually missed him so I reached out and asked for another chance but he rejected me and said his heart was not in it so it wouldn’t be fair to me if we continued dating. Now I’m just confused. I always thought he liked me more than I did but apparently he didn’t?
More data points: he’s 28 but has never been in a relationship before and he also said growing up he just didn’t pay attention to a lot of things around him (he seems aloof but sensitive and gentle at the same time so idk)
I agree with SE, OP passed his bar for dating but did not blow past it, once the dude realizes OP is not emotionally reliable the attraction died. Sorry OP
Rising Star
It sounds to me like he did really like you, but was hurt when you ended things with him. Now he is saying he doesn’t want you back because the rejection could have made him wary of you or feel like he can’t trust you. In the future, it might be best to try to talk through concerns about compatibility and find ways to get past that rather than end things.
Thanks! Yea definitely a lesson learned there!
He doesn’t like you. Break up
Pro
lol try reading the actual posts.
He liked you, but when you first broke it off, that hurt him and he’s moved on. He’s rejecting a second chance because he’s not willing to walk down that route again and knows his self worth. Time to move on OP.