To those with an anxious attachment style and have trust issues due to past childhood trauma you’re still healing from: How do you keep yourself from thinking your significant other is going to cheat on you when she/he goes to a party or out while you’re miles away? I’ve been in therapy to help, and trying to distract myself but my anxiety is keeping it from working and don’t want to put that pressure on him because I’m trying to work on it.

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Both of you should read “Attached” and “5 languages of love” together. Consider going to therapy together.
He should understand your attachment style, the scenarios that will trigger protest behaviors, and provide reassurance accordingly.

You should probably make time to explain these things to him if he doesn’t already understand. While you can think of positive things, you can’t fundamentally change your attachment style in short time.

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Don’t beat yourself up. It’s natural for some people. And it takes time. It’s rinse, repeat and remind to create habits.
Also figure out what would make you secure. And if he’s demonstrating those traits consistently then remind yourself of that.

Also, find good company time to time that will help you take your mind of this especially during extended periods of separation. While yoga, books and busy work take your mind of things it isn’t the same as talking to a human.

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For me I’ve been in the same situation and I’ve definitely struggled with it. I’ve also been to therapy and I know from my experience that it takes time. I had to practice some exercises that my therapist had given me, and continue doing it even when I wasn’t feeling anxious. I think what helped me relax is knowing that these types of situations are out of my control. There’s nothing I can do and it was something I had to accept. I have to give my partner that space so they can be with their friends and while they’re out I call up my friends and go out too. I’ve learned to do my best and trust my partner that they wouldn’t do anything wrong while they’re out.

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You can try EMDR to process the trauma. That might help you get past that bit and have a better shot at working on your trust issues

helpful

My partner has an anxious attachment style and while I occasionally get frustrated with the jealousy, I appreciate that we can openly discuss and dissect those feelings and thoughts. I have worried that my partner can’t trust me but talking through it reassures me that my partner is trying really hard to fight jealous feelings when it seems unreasonable.

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Following! In same boat

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