Related Posts
Any female bi here? 😊
More Posts
What does comp look like for PE ops associates?
Inflation check @9% 🫡
Stuck in same company for 7 years without growth, working in production support without skilling in latest technologies. Started learning React and want to shift on React frontend path. Again, stuck at resume building i dont know how to incorporate react into the projects i have worked. Can anyone send me (n4bryqzp@duck.com) React resume for reference?
Additional Posts in LGBTQIA+ 🐠
Who here have abs 😬
Pro
Any trans in this bowl from India ?
Conversation Starter
Why are some people not into feet?
Conversation Starter
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Rising Star
I think a dance party is a bit easier than a bar for picking people up as a solo flyer but....
A lot of solo flyers are also just totally creepy
Just don't make things uncomfortable
Be cool
Probably impossible advice to follow so also....maybe just keep your expectations super low
Apps are an easier forum to meet and chat 1:1 than to approach a stranger at a barz at least for me
Agreed. I have thought other solo flyers were creep too when I was with a gang. I think when you are constantly looking around to meet someone, you will end up looking like creep. Also one needs to have high tolerance for rejections at such bars/clubs. Apps might be a better place for me
Rising Star
Been thinking about this for a minute. I used to go out solo, a lot. A few success factors....
If you start talking to someone they will ask you where your friends are. You need a good reason why you're out alone so that you don't seem like a weirdo. I'm from out of town! On a work trip! I don't live here. I'm friends with the DJ and promised I'd come see him. I just moved here and I don't know anyone but I heard this was a good party. Anything cool like that. If your answer is "I've been in town for plenty long but I don't have any friends" that's not a good answer lol. Even if it's true.
Also it helps if you are young and cute and fit and all that. Just like everything else in life, young and pretty means you can pull it off better. I've realized now that at my age...the game has changed. I used to be able to pick up strangers by myself on a night out and....not anymore. Just a brutal reality of time and aging.
Good luck!
This is such a downer post, I'm 37, if you don't confident do things that make you feel confident, to be sad and lonely and accept that in yours 30/40s is a tragedy and waste of life
Chief
Pick out someone cute, make eyes, wave, say hi when you’re both at the bar getting drinks, dance 🤷♂️
RSM / OP - I think saying “Hi, I think you’re handsome. Are you having fun?” isn’t too forward and an entry into the conversation. If they don’t engage, move on and repeat until successful or you’re over it.
I like clubs better - I can dance and do my thing and if I see someone cute I can dance with them or talk to them etc
A good icebreaker is to ask them for advice about what drinks are good on the menu, or what is a good local beer when they’re waiting for their drinks. Thank them for the recommendation, then compliment their outfit/hair. That’s what I do at gay bars when I travel and I’ve always found a guy/crowd that will chat with me and let me join their group.
Rising Star
This thread is so interesting. I’ve never had, nor wanted, a group of gay friends. I would always go after the attractive guy also by himself. It is a double-edged sword though: I’ve ended up in either a very meaningful relationship or at least a couple of fun couple of weeks—or, on the other hand, as the French say, un giton.
3 things I learned from those situations:
Don’t target the biggest fish or groups 🎣
Easier to interact when waiting line or a drink 🥃
Smoking is not healthy but social 🚬
Health issues aside, smokers tend to have oral fixations that shouldn't be overlooked.
I also now know not to go to a gay bar alone since guys will think I’m creepy. Not sure what to do at 39 starting over.
Pro
@SM1...what if I'm also one of those sluts?
All valid feelings. I get the same hesitation. SC1 has the right idea.
I am 33 and feel old 😅
I didn’t, gona fake it till I make it lol
This never fails: if you’re waiting for a drink and someone gives you a dirty look (it always happens), just say “f&ck off c*nt!” That’s pheromones for today’s gays. They will swarm you like bees to the hive jonesing honey. Lol
No that’s just his friend cockblocking you
You can prob sit by the bar looking cute AF (they may come to you) and when a guy you like comes for drinks, strike up a convo, like SC1 suggested, compliment him on his shirt or something non-flirty.
Pro
Sad but true. Most gays that are a 5 want a 7 or higher. Those that are an 8 want 10s. Based on just looks, everyone wants someone out of their league so everyone goes home empty handed. Those that are 10s are often 4 or 5s in personality. It's a vicious cycle designed to sell more drinks, and nothing more. LOL
"Shared suffering" is an ice breaker, waiting in line, watching RPDR, joining a gay dodgeball team, those are great introductory ways to meet new people
Pro
Also, any techniques/suggestions if you're genuinely just trying to make friends/build a network?
Pro
I haven't been to a gay bar in the US for over 5 years. 🫣
I’ve (kinda) recently found a great kink community through Recon and end up meeting new folks off of there no matter what American city I find myself in. The guys tend to be less superficial and flaky than Grindr.
25 and this thread of comments is making me fearful of getting old 😣
Or you can age gracefully and become a “daddy”. It’s all in how you take care of your body.
Wear good perfume and casual cloths.
I’m sure there are many single ppl looking for company, smile at single people and say hi… and see if they are welcoming to strangers. Tbh I never did this I’m trying to find solace being alone. 😂