I got an offer at a small boutique firm. Was already on the fence about accepting so I asked to talk to more associates. I (a black woman) told the associate (a white man) that I wanted better WLB than big law, and he said to me, “oh, you don’t want to slave for the rest of your life? No pun intended” ??? Y’all I literally was floored. I’m talking to the partner today to decline the offer - do I say what happened specifically or just keep it vague?

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I would say it specifically. They should know, and then it's up to them whether or not to care. Keeping these things quiet does nothing to help us.

likehelpful

i'm sorry this happened. i'd be specific unless this boutique firm (or the offending person) has any pull in your city and there's a real chance of blowback.

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Outraged that this happened to you—if I was in your position I also think I’d keep it vague because ultimately the net cost is more than any benefit I could get out of being specific.

like

I would just keep it vague. But, I think in the context of not burning bridges and what would I gain by telling the partner that. Nothing as far as I can tell, so I wouldn’t.

If pressed, “I just didn’t feel like this was the right culture fit for me.” Then, I would thank the partner for the opportunity, say it was nice meeting them, and say I have another call I need to prepare for and end the call.

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Don’t be so sensitive, people use the term “slavin” when talking about big law all the time. Don’t automatically assume negative intent, unless the guy was a dick.

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He is being a dick by talking about "slavin" to a Black person and then say "no pun intended."

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I would definitely tell the partner. That’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t want an associate that says shit like this at my firm.

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