I have been with my husband for 11 years and have 2 children. I was already plus size when we met and he never said that my weight was a problem. Over the years he spends a lot of time pushing me on the treadmill and complain about my weight. He even said things like "If you were in shape and had a nice body I would've done more in the marriage." He called me fat and horrible names when he gets angry. I stayed in the marriage because I don't want to be a single mother. I am just tired.

You deserve better, and your children deserve better too. Talk to him and explain to him how you feel and how it is not ok, and how it will affect your children too. Work together towards improvement. If he doesn’t care, then leave, any type of abuse it’s unacceptable.

I am exactly in the same situation as yours with a minor difference. I’m married to a narcissist. I realised who he is after having kids with him and I can’t fight an ugly custody battle with him because it will take away one thing from my children that they will never get back - their childhood. Divorcing a narcissist is a nightmare. I have decided to stick out until kids are 18 but but but not at the cost of my happiness. I have built an independent and fulfilling life on my own. I use the grey rock method with him. He wants to be in the good books of the children so he does decently well as a dad. Not an ideal situation but it is what it is.
Build your life while staying with him, have a fulfilling career and social life , enjoy with your kids, splurge on yourself, think of it as a marriage of convenience, build your confidence and treat him like a speck of dust. Mentally divorce him and think of yourself as a single mom. It is tough but possible. Choose this path only if you are 100% sure you can’t go for divorce for whatever reason.

I almost filed for divorce two years ago and didn't continue the paperwork because I didn’t want to go through custody battle with him. He is mean and ruthless. I booked a family vacation for this October and earlier we were talking about life. And he mentioned that he would've been happy if I lost my belly before October so that people can look at my butt and wonder whose sexy wife is that so he can be proud. I felt so hurt about this comment and left the room to go cry.

Leave him and work on yourself. Physically and emotionally and financially. Don’t file yet but take separation. Once he sees you being different he’d come running back that’s when you file for divorce

I don't know how much more I can take from him. I am too embarrassed to tell my family and friends about this and how horribly he treats me. A part of me want to stay for another 10 years until our youngest turn 18, but I don't know if I can.

@Author, Sorry to hear this, but pls beware of keyboard warriors who are suggesting you to leave n all those things. Ask them if their spouses are perfect, n if not why are they not leaving them in the first place.

If you feel really stuck, probably both of you can consider some counselling, maybe involving in spiritual activities can help. I don’t know.

I am sure your husband would be also having few issues with you. Like you having with him.

If something hits you hard, try having a conversation n making things clear that you don’t like what he said and he should be cautious.

I always say this to almost everyone seeking advice from me. - Do the aftermath. In detail. Before you take extreme steps.

Im so sorry to hear that. If i were you i would start focusing on what makes you happy and do what you need to do.

I have tried losing weight all the time and cannot keep it off to be a smaller size. I have tried so many diets and even stopped eating some foods. I feel helpless and bad that my husband would've been nice to me if I was in shape. If I had a time machine I would've travel back to the day we met and make sure that I don’t give him my phone number.

Every woman deserves respect and care without judging her by body and colour. You should talk with him I hope he will understand If he really loves you. If not then leave him alone. Keep your focus on your kids and yourself. I can understand you are in stress that's why looking for some suggestions. Be brave and fight back with your hard time. Try to find out some happiness to get out of this.

I’m so sorry but you deserve better. I wish I could take your hurt away. You are not an object to serve his ego, you’re a whole human being and you deserve authentic love.

OP I am so sorry to hear that you are being treated like that, as that is absolutely not okay. I thnk you will be much happier if you were to leave the marriage. You should not have to deal with being called names or made to feel bad about your weight.

This is not about weight. It is about love and respect. Marriage is based on care, compassion and trust. Your husband,as you described, has left all those things behind. You deserve a partner in life who will be your cheerleader in your struggles, not on who brings you down. I’ll be the first to admit that marriage and raising a family is HARD. My marriage is struggling, but my husband will still have my back and pick me up, and I will do the same for him. If you don’t have each other, you are better and stronger on your own (and chances are, so will you kids)

Pls pls leave him; if not for your self do so for your kids else this what ur kids do if they end up in bad relationships..

Ask him what the “more” he would have done is. Write it down.. I bet you it is far from what you need, because this person is so out of touch with you and your needs. You have nothing to lose from walking out of this marriage. A healthier you awaits - mentally, emotionally. Your body will naturally follow.

Feed him high calorie tasty food everyday and meanwhile you get in best shape possible ( as it's healthy, not that he is asking for it), and after some months you will be able to turn the tables..

Is he with Six packs and perfect model father and citizen with others around? The way he is using words is wrong and true abuse

Any therapist worth their salt will tell you this is a huge problem. This is indicative of something deeper. 2 things need to happen asap...1) Get a therapist for yourself. Sometimes, our bodies hold onto weight because of psychological reasons. And 2) Marriage counseling asap. He MUST go. This is a non-negotiable. Then you need to sit down and write down your boundaries that you can't have crossed. For instance, the comments about your body, comments about how he'd do this if you were that (this is a him problem), no arguing or negative comments to each other in front of kids, etc. Any of these things are crossed you need to find a family member or friend that will allow you to stay a week. You'll need to step away so that you can regroup. Negative actions need consequences. Don't allow him to walk all over you. Get your closest friend and tell them what is happening. Keeping this to yourself is a danger to your health plus you need support. Above all, be honest about your role in the relationship. Relationships don't break down because of one side. It's always two sided. Some people just have too much pride and thing they're right which blinds them from looking deep inside themselves. If you choose to stay together, the next couple of years are going to be super tough. You will often wonder if you can make it through. You can. Just keep doing the work.

This is a situation where it will never be good enough. If you lose the weight he’ll find something else to criticize you about because the criticism and putting you down makes him feel like he has the power. You could try counseling but if he’s already resorted to name-calling, don’t know how effective that would be. Can’t tell you what to do but I can tell you there are plenty of men out there who find women of all sizes attractive. And also that he shouldn’t be calling you names - any names - while he is angry. He is an adult and needs to act like one.

Gone thru some of comments and ppl are saying get out of marriage. No ! That's not the solution.
However pls sit with your partner and talk about this. Still if it doesn't resolve and change,
Sit with family and talk about this and share them this is not the way of talking, body shaming is not allowed and could turn up in divorse.
I hope that will help you to take some right decision, bcoz it's always easy to break the things but not joining.

Did you tell your husband him treating you like this is not acceptable? Maybe he is trying to cajole you into losing weight but does not know how to convince you and unintentionally hurting you. In my opinion, talking to your spouse openly solves 100% of the issues. Of course, unless they are insensitive and dumb.