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Yea I think you can only wait or change job. A costly mistake but it happens to the best of us. The child can be dual covered by yours and your spouse plan, insurance will decide which will be primary and secondary. As for your spouse on your plan, unfortunately not much you can do - chose the plan that provide more coverage for certain services but don’t forget you’ll still pay deductible/copay for each plan.
It's a costly mistake, and i learned that for kids, the birthday rule applies, and the primary should be of that parent
Unfortunately, you are only able to remove them during open enrollment, but, if it is outside of the enrollment period for your employer you will need a qualifying life event. You can also refer to Section 125 of the Internal Revenue Code.
Be aware of open enrollment for both your and your spouse companies. Whichever comes first will force a 'life event' when you can 'fix' the issue.
Pretty sure the fact that they are covered under another policy qualifies for them to be removed. At least thats what I was told a few years ago. But you cannot remove them if they do not have other insurance unless its a life event. I would contact the insurance company directly.