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4/1 check-in and announcement!
I’m excited to announce that in conjunction to the “Gym Buddies Daily Check-In”, we will be making a new bowl call “Rest Day Buddies Daily Check-In” for you all to compare notes and strategies for how to take a breather from the gym. Follow link below to learn more: https://tinyurl.com/3yv8rvx8
Ok, now that it’s done, what’s your workout for today? 😅
Rising Star
Ya’ll take ya vitamins today?
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Hi Sharks,
Anyone faced below issue?
Additional Posts in Attorneys of Color
Roo to my bruhs. Happy founders day
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You are not imagining things. I’m here to validate you.
Can you take short term disability leave? This will be the fastest way to get away from a bullying boss, get therapy, and look for an exit plan.
Associate 5: I’m curious what you mean that “things may change for you when you come back.”
OP: FYI, there are several posts in Fishbowl about how to take short term disability leave, so you run a search in the law bowls for more info. If you go this route, tell your firm only that you have a “medical condition.” Your primary care physician may be able to sign the forms for you, which will be another layer of confidentiality about the exact nature of your medical diagnoses since they treat you for everything.
The mental health toll of discrimination in the workplace is unique to the person, but always serious and even life-threatening. The recent death of Dr. Antoinette “Bonnie” Candia-Bailey is a tragic example. I would consult with a therapist and psychiatrist, and follow their medical opinions.
Are we the same person? This is deeply felt and you are not alone. I hope you can get out of that situation soon.
I am so sorry! This is awful and I can only imagine how mentally exhausting this is becoming. Please know that your worth is not defined by this partner! Do you have access to a network of attorneys of color in your area? I was in a similar situation and I found that sounding myself with people who understood really helped me through. Also, I found an amazing therapist of color who understood and was able to help me secure a leave under FMLA for the max time allowed. I was paid under the short term disability through my company and I was able to focus on my mental health and finding a new job. By the time I needed to go back I was able to give my two weeks notice my first day back but my company decide they didn’t need me for the two weeks. They weren’t the happiest and I did burn a bridge but I was in a poor mental space. My prior partner would make racist comments directly to me in private and out in the open. HR did nothing and I was “mentored” that every attorney gets hazed. Is that what we call racism these days?
I hope you find peace and strength during this time. Always remember, she can’t break you. You are strong. You are a fighter. You are worth being treated equally and fairly. Don’t back down and don’t give up! YOU GOT THIS! Keeping you in my thoughts and sending good vibes your way for a speedy job search and the blessing of something bigger and better coming your way!
Wow, I am so sorry to hear about what you experienced.
HR normalising racism and harassment is outrageous. You’re right that this is the face of racism at law firms these days—mischaracterising illegal behavior as “hazing” that everyone experiences.
No, white men aren’t being subjected to racist comments, being given poor assignments, and receiving excessive criticism (for example).
Did you end up filing an EEOC charge?
Unfortunately, I feel this too, and I am a managing attorney. WW will chose whiteness over womanhood if it means they get to flex their white supremacy muscles. The sad part is white supremacy is so much a part of them, to confront them on it means you’re attacking them.
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Reading these comments make me sad to read the commonalities in all that has been shared. Anyone can be reported. I say start documenting calls, recording interactions, etc. then go on leave after you report it.
This is real! I had this experience with an older white female partner. She would never speak to me but was chatty with anyone else on the team and calls. It was so blatant and just excused away by partners I was "close" to, including partners of color because she had power. It's not okay and you deserve better.
I agree with most people here. My worst experiences with racism have been with white women. They are at that intersection of race and gender where they feel that white supremacy gives them more advantages than their gender could (eg. over men of other races who may otherwise enjoy the benefits of patriarchy), so they lean into it pretty heavily.
It appears that Fishbowl removed the recent posts by “Lawyer 1” that attacked OP and mischaracterised their concerns as “paranoia” and “victimhood.” Thank you to Fishbowl.
Here is an article about “racial gaslighting” that may be helpful for processing how manipulative such attacks are: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/racial-gaslighting
Hi, I’m so sorry. This job is hard enough as it is. I do not want to defend the WW partner you’ve been dealing with in any way. I just came here to say that I am a white female and often work with a junior female POC associate (we are only two females in our specialty group). There are a handful of WW junior associates in the general corporate group that we work with. By the nature of that, I am often reviewing and critiquing the junior POC associate’s work and my interactions with the WW junior corporate associates would definitely be seen as a more “friendly” relationship since I’m not directly reviewing their work. Your post and these comments really made me stop and reflect on this dynamic. I really try to be a mentor, supporter and resource for the female POC I work with, and I would never want her to feel like you or anyone in these comments do. So (1) thank you for sharing and (2) while I realize this may not be appropriate in every situation, I really would hope the associate I work with would tell me if this is how she felt. It’s not her job to do so, but I’d rather be in a situation where I have to work at improving and being more aware than her have to struggle and work on finding a new job.
I appreciate you saying this. I think this is a conversation you should also have with the white supervisors at your firm. Your word would be respected and taken into consideration. As a junior woman of color, I have been dismissed or gaslit anytime I have tried to express these concerns and feelings to those I thought were mentors of mine. I think the challenge is that junior associates are always expected to be proactive in mentorship relationships, but this might be a time when a supervisor has to be proactive in making sure the junior woman of color knows that you are a genuine and trustworthy resource.
Same experience
I am in the same boat with a white male partner. Nothing is good enough. I’ve realized these kinds of people need someone to pick on, it’s nothing to do with you. once they’ve made their mind up they view everything as wrong. Sending you love and hope you find your way out soon.
Validating you, I am having the exact same experience right now at my firm. I’ve been working with this white female partner for 1.5 years and she has worn me down to nothing. You’re not alone 🥲
I’m sorry. I’ve been there. I see you.
I’ve been here. Diff is she did at my first legal job. Remember every dog has its day
Rising Star
Attorney 2: I am so deeply sorry you experienced this mistreatment. To compare you to a dog is completely outrageous. I’m so glad you reported your boss and that the company recognized and validated your emotional suffering. I hope you are in a much better place now and thriving.
Your feelings are valid. I don’t have the most helpful of advice as I’m navigating something similar and can’t get away from said partner due to the power they have at the firm. But all that to say, I have basically started doing the bare minimum during the week and updating my resume/applying on the weekends.
OP - I hope you find strength, keeping you and others in this thread in my thoughts. Unfortunately, this happened to me as well. I also received a horrible performance review from the white female partner (the only poor review I received) and was laid off shortly after.
Sending you good vibes. Hang in there.