I’m probably never going to speak to my father again. My mom is finally getting a divorce after enduring years of his emotional and financial abuse. I feel so free from my childhood bully. I also feel a little sad because society tells you that you’re obligated to your parents. It’s weird man. Has anyone else gone no contact with an abusive parent later in life?

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Not in the same boat as you, but the same boat as your mom, and I’m just poking my head in to say you have no obligation towards an abusive parent. My kids are younger (21 & 18) so it’s more complicated due to financial dependency, but my older one has a limited relationship with him and my younger one wants as little to do with him as humanly possible.

I’m going to tell you what I told my mother when she opined that my younger daughter should talk to my ex.

The body’s response (physical and emotional) is the same whether there is physical or psychological abuse. My daughter listened to my ex berate my older daughter and also verbally attack me. Now imagine the same situation except that he was beating each of us while she cowered in her room and heard all of it. Would you still expect her to talk to him?

So yeah. You’re good. Enjoy the emotional freedom. Don’t give into the guilt of the trauma bond.

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Maybe talk to a therapist. Sounds like you have a lot to process. I haven’t had to cut out a parent, but have cut out some family members who were toxic. To be honest, I don’t think even with the divorce he will just disappear. He had had a major impact on your mom which will linger. Wishing you both peace.

I should have cut my father out decades ago - would have saved me later trauma. You are doing the right thing. Listen to your gut and also therapy helps. Wishing you peace ❤️

My father molested me as a kid. My mom left him and years later we reconnected, but he was still an assh*le and his new family too. He never apologized for what he did, and failed me when I needed support (my mom passed away)
Rather be alone TBH.

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