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Anyone here 40s never married, no kids?
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It sounds like you’ve had coworkers dealing with chronic stress who were at the point of burnout. Lay out your expectations at the get go, make sure they know at what point they need to ask you for help (ie don’t spin your wheels for more than x amount of time on y task), give feedback as immediately as you can for both good and bad feedback, and ask them to tell you what support they need.
Unfortunately I think it is a new norm. Jobs demand more than ever of people and the cost of living is so high it can be very anxiety producing to think of possibly losing a job, especially for younger people who don’t have a strong skillset to take elsewhere or a nest egg to fall back on. Give them a little grace and remember the world is a crazy place that everyone reacts to differently.
Coach
I guess I need to clarify. These individuals would go to pieces if a silly simple mistake happened that as long as addressed timely was no big deal. No one was upset, they weren't called out, and their manager's probably never knew. These were not high stress environments or mistakes and were very much just part of the individual's daily job.
C, can we get a little more info? Did their work impact your deliverables and/or do you have any semblance of oversight? If truly just colleagues did it seem like they were looking for someone to vent to or would brainstorming a path forward together have been well received?
Coach
Yes, their work impacted my deliverables and I had no formal oversight. Both individuals had anxiety or other disorders and the culture wasn't toxic. I'm all for mental health but having to leave or crying in the bathroom for hours when something happened and wasn't that big of a deal but did require a swift plan of action really throws me.
It is the new norm. Maintain a positive attitude, include words and frazes in the conversations like "I know we can get it done." "I will help you if you get behind," ect.. When they start trying to stop the movement because of a setback or say things negative that are not productive toward the goal, redirect them by stating what can be done to overcome the obsicile.
It will be draining, but with persistence you'll be able to direct them them into results.
Then they will complain to upper management, who will then be confused as to how there is a problem because the job got done.
Are you new to this company? Are these maybe warning signs that people are burned out and fried due to the culture?
Find another consulting firm. Folks at EY and another B4 I was at thrived on the stress and unrealistic deadlines.
Uh. Thriving on unrealistic deadlines seems like a real recipe for eventual burnout. Big difference between a fast paced challenging environment where people actually thrive and that kind of toxic culture
I am so glad you wrote this - topic of the year. New norm, old norm, not a norm, it doesn’t always matter based on the individual, company, culture, and current climate/situation. The world is recovering from a major pandemic, battling inflation, and multiple serious socioeconomic crises just to begin with and I think many of us are on the mildly fatigued to chronically physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted scale at this point. Many people bounced back to their “norm” like nothing happened, some people trying to rebuild, and there are still some who are still in self-preservation/fear mode. I see this a lot in my role and have experienced my own personal meltdown somedays. I wish the new normal was “we are STILL all in this together” and people continue supporting each other during both the bad and good times.