I’ve been talking to a guy who is incredible, but long distance and not sure where our future is. Everyone is telling me to go on dates with other people in my town, but my heart truly cannot talk to another person. How do people date multiple people at the same time? Do you not feel strongly toward any one person?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I view it as interviewing and that you're not explicitly or implicitly promising anything to anyone except the opportunity to apply. People understand only one position fills the role

likehelpful

I am TERRIBLE at communication but I feel like the right thing to do would be to just be honest and point out that it is the long distance that isn't working for you

like

Also, I totally don’t get the multiple dating thing. With you sis! Big hugs! I would die single if I had to date in this environment. So thankful to be happily married

like

I date multiple people because dating is the process of getting to know someone to know if you want to be their SO. Not everyone you meet you will have chemistry with and at some point, you will narrow it down to the person you want to spend most of your time with.

like

2 year long distance relationship, leading to 15 years of marriage :). But I’m also old school Desi. Made it work

like

OP, you should definitely try talking to other guys. Maybe don’t go on dates, if you’re not comfortable, but there’s no way to know if you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make a long distance relationship work unless you’ve “shopped around” a bit a realized that there’s no one you want more than this guy.

When I first started talking to my now boyfriend, I was studying abroad, so I knew a relationship with him would only be long distance. When I came home a few weeks after us talking, I tried talking to guys located in my college town but no one even came close to my boyfriend. So from that experience, I knew all I wanted was to be with him, even if the distance got hard, I knew I really wanted to do everything in my power to make things work.
I did feel a little bad and still kinda do that I talked to other people, especially when I learned that he didn’t, but I know it’s something I needed to do to be sure about him and a relationship. And to me, that’s more important.

And we’re still together and doing long distance 4 years later, with plans to close the distance next year

likehelpful

You are only talking to him, which means it’s likely you have an image in your head (and possibly fantasy) of who he is and a future with him, but you don’t know him.

You don’t know him if you haven’t spent time together consistently and seen how he reacts to various situations - stress, anger, other women, etc. All you have is what you pieced together based on what he’s shared, & you developed emotions based on that.

You are setting yourself up for disappointment and to be played if you are already fully invested without anything to back it up other than his words. People lie and went to present the best versions, so continue to talk to other people until you actually know someone and have seen them in various situations consistently.

Also note that men do not connect and develop the same degree of attachment just by talking, & he is likely talking to other people.

like

Point is - you don’t know him well enough to stop talking to other people, especially when he probably is still open to other options

I’m the same way. I can’t get into multi-dating. Generally speaking, if I feel like dating person 2, I’m not interested enough in person 1 and I feel obligated to let them know.

like

Stop talking to him and start talking to people in your city

It’s not cheating and he is likely doing the same. Men don’t overthink things and over attach like we do …

like

Personally I can’t date two people at once. But also I wouldn’t emotionally invest in LDR. Unless one of you is willing to move it’s just going to be brutal. I did in past when I was young and it just never works out. Unfortunately it is not a hallmark movie or sleepless in Seattle where LDR somehow works beautifully.

How long have you known this guy? I just need some context.

Related Posts

How do you actually find a decent person to date when you’re working 80+ consulting hours? Like seriously...everyone I know who recently got engaged or married had been long term dating since high school or college. What has worked for people?

like

Any female fish in Downtown SFO, want to grab a drink and bite? 30M here

like

I’m a single black woman. What are the best locations to find other single men?

I may just take myself to a bar, but what if no one approaches me

like

I just fleeced a guy in a trade: gave bears d/st for alshon + eagles d

funny

I’m tired of being a senior. I have so much work to do, but I’m laying in bed.

like

I am seeing a guy and having a hard time thinking about him in terms of long term relationship. One thing that bothers me is that he never showers after he comes back from the gym and I told him that I find it nasty. We currently live separately so I don't have to see him after he works out which is a good thing but I can easily see this being a problem in the future. Any tips? And NO I don't want to go to therapy lol

funnylike

Any one around in Nj and want to grab a drink? Male seeking female

like

Good night ET. If you're PST and up for a chat...


PS:
Thick chicks only.

funnylike

Would you date an ex army/marine who has actually been through wars (and killed people) and told you that they can hear ringing noises?

like

How to meet new people once in the city? I’m a guy (26) if that changes anything

like

People seem to just want to hook-up but never date. I seem to always start falling for my hook-ups after a while. What am I doing wrong? Live in NYC.

like

At what age sexual stamina goes down for men?

like

I went through my gf’s phone and found out she had a crush on my best friend when we first started dating (over a year ago). I suspected this at first but it hurts to have it confirmed and see her telling her friends about him. I’m not sure how I should feel since I went out of line to look through her phone.

like

Any lady fishes up?

Any F 🐠 want meet up for drinks tonight? 31/m

like

Mercedes-Benz Research & Development India If I like a girl in office, Can I approach her directly or via social media or via teams?Tata Consultancy Infosys EY KPMG Mercedes-Benz Research & Development India Volvo

likefunny

Been on a few dates with this guy and he literally keeps using the washroom every 10-15 mins!

He would leave to use the washroom like 3 times in one meal- has anyone else experienced this? I just feel so weird about it

like

Anyone wants to get together for drinks 🍹? 39 M

like

I look at my resume, accomplishments and the fact that I can cook and wonder wtf I’m still single. Oh yea! I live in NY and just got home from a 13 hr day of work. 🙄

like

More Posts

How is senior level engineer propsectus in CGI. I m planning to join cgi, , How does CGI manage mid senior and senior employees assuming I am a decent contributor. Is it good company to pursue my next 10 years? CGI

Please comment on WLB, growth and job security


YOE:12yrs
Role: Data Architect

like

Are the CISI qualifications worth it?

like

How much does a senior consultant get in ey gds ? A range would help.

For everyone asking how much hike can we expect at this rating(vc/hc/ec), please understand the below points:
1. Rating is only applicable on variable pay
2. Hike % is independent of the rating
3. Hike depends on a lot of factors like your current salary, how is it comparable to the market or the level you are in, do you have a progression/promotion, etc

like

Hi Fishes! I am searching for an opportunity in Financial Planning and Analysis role (Finance) with 7.7 years of experience. Any leads ? Appreciations in advance !!

like

Basic interview questions for 2 year experienced ui ux designer. Anyone please?

like

What is the pay range for supervising associate?
Yoe 9.5

like

I have been in production for 10 years but all of it has been done through my own production company (which was basically just me)

Should I just list the relevant projects instead of saying I have 10 years experience as a Senior Producer or Executive producer on my resume?

like

Shout out to my fellow trash pandas just trying to make it to the holidays

Post Photo
likefunnysmarthelpful

Hello fishes,
Does anybody know how much it takes to receive Revised Offer letter from Mindtree ?
I had a discussion with the recruiter on 6th May and he agreed to send the revised offer letter, but I am still awaiting it. The recruiter is not receiving my calls, not replying to my sms and emails as well.
Not sure what to do in this scenario.

like

Advice how to stand out on a zoom interview?

like

What’s are some ways to market your new business in a pandemic?

like

I want to know which tax slab can be appropriate for a 10lpa and what are the way I can manage to reduce my tax computation.
I have been to this tax slab for the first time don't have. any knowledge.
can one of you assist what can be done or what are the steps for saving the tax or us it possible to have 0 tax.
FYI,
2.2lck is hra

like

Hii
How is dbs project in ibm in term of wlb, carrier growth etc.

like

Hi Fishes,

If i ask adidas to negotiate my offer letter before 10 days of joining, will they do?

Actually my only concern is related to bonus amount as its 20%.

like

In one month is my mid term review.. Should I let my mentor know I'm applying for mba this year now or should I wait till after the review session? I'm afraid mentioning going to b school would hurt my "fast promotion". What's your guy's experience? :)

like

How old were you when you reached your first 100k net worth? (All assets minus debts, Inc retirement)

Earnings for this week..!

Post Photo
like

What’s the max umbrella policy coverage y’all have seen offered by insurance providers? Looking to get one for the first time. Anything I should consider/ask the insurance company?

like

Additional Posts in Confession

Just completed my work out and got myself chicken nuggets. I mean what is even life

likefunnyupliftinghelpful

Is there a special place in hell for recruitment consultants?

funnylike

What is the difference between fetish and kink? I thought they were same.

like

At a happy hour and my boss just told me she wants me. Currently in an Uber going back to her place. AMA

likefunnyuplifting

Name the most crazy thing on your bucket list!

like

I have desk whiskey in my home office that I use for most days that end in “y”.

likefunny

Does this mean I'll have to shell more therapy?

Post Photo
funnylike

So I’ve been working at the same place for 3 years and have hit a wall a while back, overworked/ underpaid, overlooked etc . I went back to for a second Bachelors in mechanical engineering but working a full time job will see it I graduate in 10yrs so now I’m starting my MBA soon. Seems like nothing I try helps. Anyone experiencing the same trying to get interviews/ job offers? I’ve been trying to get into Apple, Meta, aerospace giants for yrs. Have only had 2 interviews in 3 yrs. No help.

like

Just put a box of cheese-its in the refrigerator.

likefunny

BNY Mellon | Pershing Do you guys think they will be doing lay offs during this recession that’s coming up?

like

McKinsey & Company I work for a niche consulting firm. When I hear we beat out Deloitte, Accenture, or McKinsey & Company for new work…I get an extra tingle of joy 😅

likefunnyuplifting

I tried to break up with my SO and instead they talked their way out of it for an hour and we're now on a "break" that involves the same amount of contact as before so not really sure what i accomplished

likefunny

Been friends with a girl for years (I’m a M). We recently have been getting closer and chatting a lot more. I told her I’m starting to develop feelings for her and that I want us to try dating. She said she’s going through a messy breakup now (wasn’t a clear yes or a no response). Do I continue to get closer to her as friends after that conversation or is it better to give us both space?

like

Your sibling spilled water on your personal laptop, now the laptop won’t turn on. What do you do?

like

Musk to reverses Trump ban on Twitter

Post Photo
likefunny

The best compromise solution for student debt is to make student loans interest free

likesmart

I hate whoever invented meetings before 10am.... jeez, give me time to start my brain.

likefunny

I shoulda warned them.

Post Photo
likefunny

Therapy Scheduling Issues - I love my therapist but they are not able to schedule sessions on the weekend or Friday evening and I’ve missed 7/10 last sessions scheduled due to last minute work stuff. I’m sad I’m losing a great therapist. Should I try to make it work or find someone with more scheduling flexibility?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal