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I view it as interviewing and that you're not explicitly or implicitly promising anything to anyone except the opportunity to apply. People understand only one position fills the role
I am TERRIBLE at communication but I feel like the right thing to do would be to just be honest and point out that it is the long distance that isn't working for you
Also, I totally don’t get the multiple dating thing. With you sis! Big hugs! I would die single if I had to date in this environment. So thankful to be happily married
Rising Star
I date multiple people because dating is the process of getting to know someone to know if you want to be their SO. Not everyone you meet you will have chemistry with and at some point, you will narrow it down to the person you want to spend most of your time with.
2 year long distance relationship, leading to 15 years of marriage :). But I’m also old school Desi. Made it work
Enthusiast
OP, you should definitely try talking to other guys. Maybe don’t go on dates, if you’re not comfortable, but there’s no way to know if you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make a long distance relationship work unless you’ve “shopped around” a bit a realized that there’s no one you want more than this guy.
When I first started talking to my now boyfriend, I was studying abroad, so I knew a relationship with him would only be long distance. When I came home a few weeks after us talking, I tried talking to guys located in my college town but no one even came close to my boyfriend. So from that experience, I knew all I wanted was to be with him, even if the distance got hard, I knew I really wanted to do everything in my power to make things work.
I did feel a little bad and still kinda do that I talked to other people, especially when I learned that he didn’t, but I know it’s something I needed to do to be sure about him and a relationship. And to me, that’s more important.
And we’re still together and doing long distance 4 years later, with plans to close the distance next year
Rising Star
You are only talking to him, which means it’s likely you have an image in your head (and possibly fantasy) of who he is and a future with him, but you don’t know him.
You don’t know him if you haven’t spent time together consistently and seen how he reacts to various situations - stress, anger, other women, etc. All you have is what you pieced together based on what he’s shared, & you developed emotions based on that.
You are setting yourself up for disappointment and to be played if you are already fully invested without anything to back it up other than his words. People lie and went to present the best versions, so continue to talk to other people until you actually know someone and have seen them in various situations consistently.
Also note that men do not connect and develop the same degree of attachment just by talking, & he is likely talking to other people.
Rising Star
Point is - you don’t know him well enough to stop talking to other people, especially when he probably is still open to other options
I’m the same way. I can’t get into multi-dating. Generally speaking, if I feel like dating person 2, I’m not interested enough in person 1 and I feel obligated to let them know.
Rising Star
Stop talking to him and start talking to people in your city
Rising Star
It’s not cheating and he is likely doing the same. Men don’t overthink things and over attach like we do …
Personally I can’t date two people at once. But also I wouldn’t emotionally invest in LDR. Unless one of you is willing to move it’s just going to be brutal. I did in past when I was young and it just never works out. Unfortunately it is not a hallmark movie or sleepless in Seattle where LDR somehow works beautifully.
How long have you known this guy? I just need some context.