Related Posts
Community Builder
Pro
More Posts
Bowl Leader
Bowl Leader
Chief
Does AAS pay the same as FDD?
Coach
What topic is good for a value moment
Additional Posts in Staying Healthy
Keep those resolutions going 💪🏼
Enthusiast
Anyone has a promo code to the “Lose it” app?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Always. Have been told many times to be more confident but it’s so hard.
Yup, It’s a struggle lol.
I struggle so badly- but I’m definitely not sure if it’s imposter syndrome because I often feel I’m genuinely not good enough at my job
Omg same
It never ends. I run a national practice and today had a casual check-in call with 3 C suite leaders across different organizations who happen to be friendly. At some point in the conversation, one of them asked if the others (or I) had been....then he proceeded to put together 6 words that I barely knew what they meant.
It's not just about confidence. LEARN LEARN LEARN. if you are taking up golf then learn the game, learn the terminology, watch, and play as much as possible. If you're in sales, learn actual methodologies, get to know your tech stack, listen to real successful people in the field. If I am brushed up in my field and I am in a meeting, I am going in there with that confidence. It's not about having confidence but rather knowing what the hell you're doing which will create confidence. Its like if you're thinking about founding a company to drive a lambo, you're backwards. Build a great product/organization and the money will entail
I always have, from elementary school to professional career. In my career, the more I learn and the more experience I gain, the more I realize how much there still is to learn. How little I know.
I think adopting a “lifelong learner” mindset and accepting that you’ll never know it all—and nor will anyone else—goes a long way to help.
OP thank you for raising this topic. What I am hearing is it's more about confidence or the lack of it.
Some people have innate self confidence that comes from their gut (it's an idiom - it actually comes from their brain - the gut is where the sensations are) and instincts and they rely on that to exert influence on others. That is not teachable or transferable - it's innate. It is how they are wired in their brains and the chemistry that comes from that wiring: lesser quantity of Glutamate in their brain: the chemical that makes you feel fear and more quantity of endorphins and enkephalins that makes you feel hope. So less fear and more hope in your brain leads to confidence.
You reverse that: more fear and less hope causes lack of confidence or anxiety.
So then if confidence is not innate in me how do I overcome the imposter syndrome: find your source of confidence and invest to develop that. For some people it comes from some or a combination of the below:
1. Learning - hence the Wise person talked about Learn Learn Learn - it's like you are training your brain to make that activity into autopilot mode like a LeBron James practices for taking clutch shots so when the moment comes their auto pilot takes over/muscle memory takes over and that seems like confidence just that they have replayed that moment 10,000 times in their brain and with their body
2. Winning :for some people when you win it releases Endorphins and that makes you confident for the next deal, project, conversation
3. Values: when you write down your value system that document can help you make decisions confidently on what is negotiable and what is not - black or white decisions remove ambiguity
4. Trust : for some Confidence comes from others who they have a relationship with. Like in the Matrix Neo seeks it from the Oracle - you've got this. So surround yourself with wise people who tell you :You've got this, I believe in you.
And they are many more areas the list is 30+ long.
The simplest question you have to ask yourself is when did you NOT feel like an imposter and why? Unpack that experience, that emotion the source of it, relive that memory in your brain.
Don't worry you are not alone: Oprah talks about this in one of her videos: no matter who she is interviewing Barack Obama, Bill Gates, Beyonce post the interview they all ask her the same question: Hey Oprah how did I do? and she goes : You did great! Some of the most successful people seek affirmation and can be very insecure: (ducks) flapping under water.
So don't worry don't fake it and try to be someone else rather be yourself, a better version of yourself. That starts with releasing yourself from the high expectation that you have to be everything to everyone in this world and accept yourself for who you are. First. Love yourself and release endorphins and enkephalins by choice, become a person you like to hang out with. You'll see others will want to hang out with you as well and that is confidence: taking charge of your brain chemistry.
All the best.
The more I achieve, the worse the imposter syndrome has gotten.
I still do, even as known expert in my field.
I feel like it’s a good thing to have while you’re performing work that’s new to you. It helps you improve and grow into a better performer.
That said, it can be a b*tch to deal with when you need to sound confident in your work.
Sometimes I win the argument and sometimes my shadow wins- really hard to manage the dialogue when my shadow’s shadow gets involved.
To be honest i got over it by always letting the client know (to a certain extend and tactfully) and my team that i’ll learn the skill soon/ I’m new at this.
Don’t staff me on a project i’m not skilled on because you’re low on resources unless you’re okay with the understanding that a) i’ll be slow in the beginning (reason why i despise “discovery” phases) 2) I will love the project because i’ll learn a lot throughout .
It’s a win and great learning opp for me but i’m not going to lie to the client about my starting skillset and suffer through it... they’re paying slalom to put the burden of rapid learning/teaching on us and that’s what i intend to do without having to lie because i’ve been depressed twice and Slalom “surprise staffing” me is not going to affect me again.
Pro
Focusing on being a good collaborator has immensely helped me. It’s not my job to have every answer. It’s my job to work with people until we get the work done.
Sometimes that means we figure it out together, sometimes that means you fake&learn, sometimes it means you ask good questions, sometimes that means you teach, sometimes it means you lead with what you know
It depends on my perception of the other person. If I think I’m more competent than the person I’m working with them I am confident and an overachiever. I close up when I think the other person knows way more and then I think I’ll disappoint them by not knowing enough. I gotta work on that.
Oh yes
🙋🏻♀️
Fake it til you make it. Act how you wish to be until it’s real. It works