Married for 15 years two kids , first gen immigrants to usa . We have a successful and comfortable life but now that the focus on making it here is behind us I have started to connect dots and realized my spouse has a narcissistic personality. I have been manipulated for all my married life , as it stands today I don’t have any friends or family left that I am close to anymore . Over years my wife feed negative view points about every one close to me and i distanced myself from them.

Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Can you select 1 or 2 friends and a relative that you can reach out to make amends? You can repair the relationships. It will take time. Everyone needs a support network. Just remember not to make the relationships transactional and one sided.

About your marriage I don't have advice. But I hope that everything works out for you.

How do you know that your wife is a narcissist and that it's not a mutual communication issue?

Here is an article by Mayo Clinic. Maybe you could read it and see if anything clicks for you.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662

likehelpful

I agree with the comment above about making amends with a few family members. I’ve personally seen this scenario play out and it’s never a lost cause.
Maybe pump the brakes on diagnosing your spouse. It could be as simple as her being negative or possessive, but as her spouse you can slowly help her see things a different way.
Congrats on making it as a 1st gen. Don’t let the bitterness spoil a great journey

like

Deloitte has a mental health support resource site. You can request therapy sessions.

Related Posts

My dad who lives in Asia just announced that he had a medical issue. I’m starting to enter the age where I’m going to take care of him financially. It’s a $2,000 hospital bill which in the US is nothing compared to what it represents there (which he can’t afford). He’s going to be fine! Just wanted to share with this group as many of you can understand what it feels like to support your parents when they’re old, not the other way around. I feel so blessed I can help him. 🙏🏽

like

Anyone stuck in an unhappy marriage? How do you deal with loneliness of this profession and complicated family life

It’s a man’s market these days. Men, what tips do you have to give to ladies to increase our likelihood of entering a successful relationship.

like

Partners with kids and a working spouse, how do you manage? Is it realistic for both people in the relationship to work full time long term? How do you keep marriage going and career progressing?

likesmart

I am getting ready to send my 2 year old toddler to a toddler program next week for the first time. Have to fill out a form “bathroom waiver”, which is basically allowing teachers at the school to clean my child after a potty, including genital area. I feel uneasy about this but I know I have to let them… I assume all parents have signed such waiver?

People who are cleanliness/organization freaks and have SOs who are not as clean/organized, how do you deal with it? Just learn to live with it?

SO moved in, however they aren’t as organized (an example is closet, my clothes are neatly folded and kept while theirs are mostly a pile of rolled up clothes). It does upset me and for some reason comes across as lazy which it may or may not be. We have had one minor chat and they saw it as ‘house rules’ and were worried there may be too many rules.

like

Anyone here 40s never married, no kids?

like

Breakup etiquette- we broke up and I was supposed to go to his relatives’s wedding in a couple of weeks. I know the couple, not super well, but have hung out and texted individually as well. Should I let them know I won’t be attending and wish them well or don’t reach out to them?

like

I have to support my family financially. Usually my mom cooks for the family so groceries only cost $1200/month. However, my mom is abroad for 2 months so it’s just my siblings and they can’t cook so they’ve been using my card for doordash. I think there are days when they spend $100+/day. It’s frustrating because my mom already told them the daily budget repeatedly. I’ll go bankrupt at that rate. However, it’s not like I can take my card back since I don’t want them to starve…

likesmart

Anyone else struggling to make meaningful friendships in b school? It’s only been two weeks but I’m struggling to go beyond superficial talk with anyone

likefunny

Best Christmas things to do with a two-year-old?

like

What do you do when you feel the goalpost has been/is being moved re: billable requirements? Like there's a spoken vs unspoken? I chose this job based on billables vs salary and what I'm being told I'm expected to do now is 20-30% (at least) > than what was initially agreed upon. Given my other life responsibilities, this is creating a huge strain & I feel like this is slowly getting harder & harder on my spouse & kids. I'm grateful to have lots of good work but not sure how to course correct.

like

Everyone who I want to like me or to hangout with doesn’t respond to my texts or tells me they are too busy. This weekend I reached out to 12 people to see if they wanted to grab coffee or a drink or go for a walk. The number of people who just didn’t respond astounded me. I ended up eating dinner in bed by myself and getting brunch on my own.

The only people who reach out to me, I don’t want to hangout with. I don’t have the same interests as them and have to try really hard… cont below

like

Any recommendations for books for desi parents ? Politics , economics, world order , self help

Just taking the opportunity to get current. Sober 3 years and 10 months. This past couple weeks have been stressful and my mind slipped into fantasizing about my drug of choice. Last week I flipped out at some of my wife's family. I did an amends and I think time will heal this one. It's all up to HP. Although I have neglected my morning practice this week, I'm practicing self compassion with positive self talk.

like

What to do when parents dig their toes into your relationship? They don't approve of who I'm with and very vocal about it.

In 10 years, this may be in the rear view or they may not let up. Anyone with experience in this?

like

Female 🐠 - if your husband has mostly non-muslim friends, is that a problem?

like

I’ve been with my bf for 18 months and we have not said ‘I love you’ to one another. I keep hearing about how the best/healthiest relationships are a slow burn, you’re friends first, grow to love each other, etc. I’ve never been in a relationship as emotionally slow as this one. It feels like we are friends who sleep together. I can’t tell if it’s healthy or if we just have no emotional spark. Idk... I feel like wanting romance is not a bad thing, right?

like

GV70 vs GLC 300 please cast your vote!
My fiancée and I have been struggling for this way too long (disregard the price)

like

My friend just got out of a relationship and hooked up with his ex's best friend a week later. They're now dating and seeing each other everyday.
I couldn't help but feel like this wasn't an appropriate thing to do for both parties. He also revealed that he cheated on his past exes.

I'm naturally feeling a bit weary of his character and questioning whether this is a friend I want to keep close in my life. Perhaps I'm being too judgmental?

like

More Posts

How do I become an MBB employee? Is it possible to gain experience at big 4+ACN and then get referred in??

like

I’ve been with my bf for 18 months and we have not said ‘I love you’ to one another. I keep hearing about how the best/healthiest relationships are a slow burn, you’re friends first, grow to love each other, etc. I’ve never been in a relationship as emotionally slow as this one. It feels like we are friends who sleep together. I can’t tell if it’s healthy or if we just have no emotional spark. Idk... I feel like wanting romance is not a bad thing, right?

like

What are some good agencies in Amsterdam apart from WK?

like

Hello, Can anyone share the real world process of sales pipeline in the IT company and process of acquiring new customer?

like
likeuplifting

Oh boy it was chilly tonight! Not ready for whats to come 😭

like

How much are EY experienced hire sign bonus?

like

GV70 vs GLC 300 please cast your vote!
My fiancée and I have been struggling for this way too long (disregard the price)

like

I have completed 7 months in Wipro but I didn't get probation complition latter. Can anyone guide me what should I do now?? And is there salary increment after i get permanent. I have joined Wipro as a fresher Wipro

like

Hello Fishes - Have received offer from Citibank for C14 ( SVP Data Science) role. Offered comp - 220K base. No signing bonus. Bonus range -20%. Location - NY. Is this good offer? What is range generally? Citi fishes please help !!Citi

like

H1-B, have a stock brokerage account as US resident and planning to go back to India for good. Any recommended stock broker that allows maintaining the account form India without US address?

Any tips for someone trying to break into consulting in the GCC from the US? Applying blindly hasn't worked out. Head hunter recommendations would be great as well!

like

Hi

For some reason TCS HR did not responded on quoted compensation and was lowballing. The call was not fruitful. As i have already resigned not sure even if they release the offer letter no.

Can you please help me on finding jobs for Devops 10 YOE.

like

What to expect from Amazon career day?

like

Would anyone be willing to teach me vlookup?

like

Hello Fishers,

In TCS, My base location is Hyderabad and nearest office location is Delhi. As WFO started I want to join nearest office but dont have Icard. HR is saying that Icard will be available only from base location.
What should I do now?

like

By anyvchance does ZS sponsor professional financial courses like FRM,CFA?

like

I've always wondered this ... How do PPMD's find new opportunities.. like is it mostly through networking / grapevine.. or something more structured?

like

Need some feedback! So I was forced to move jobs about 6 months ago due to reorg and the new leader opting to bring their existing EA with them, without even meeting me. If stayed at the company but accepted an offer for a job outside of the department I was in. I’ve now been asked by a manager from my old department to apply for a job they’re opening that would be a 2 step promotion. She thought she got my managers permission to approach me (see comments)

like

Hello,

I got selected for S&P platts, can someone please give review about that?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal