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Enthusiast
It’s not laziness. I try to think of it as just different levels of cleanliness. Try to have a routine. Maybe once a week. Have your SO do chores that are not so burdensome / “easy” for them and you do the ones that bother you the most. And if you really want to be with your SO long term, you’ll have to compromise a bit. Have patience and give your SO time
Thanks. I understand that, and think have been very patient so far. I in fact take care of most of the chores. I used to arrange their closet too but realized it’ll be too much for me. Certain things like not washing off tooth paste after brushing teeth is definitely off putting.
We have excellent communication so that’s a good thing, hopefully it wouldn’t be a lot for them. I worry they’ll see these things as too many rules and might upset/annoy them.
Chief
I think you should realize that your way is not better than your SOs. It just your preference. (I assume you are not talking about actual dirt but rather just mess). Work together to come up with a compromise. Dont impose your ways on your SO.
I agree with that and have been extra cautious about not imposing my ways. Although there have been times when it’s been actual dirt/trash and not just mess.
My SO is actually close to blind (like crazy level of correction needed), so I give her some slack
Yeah, that’s being fair. I give her slack for her clumsiness, she’s just that way.
I use to deal with this. I just folded their clothes myself, not ideal for everyone to handle it that way. But it was quicker & less hassle if I knocked it out myself
That’s the plan to get a separate closet and their clothes can be there, lol.
It’s a walk in closet right now so it can be a bit of an eyesore.
General difference in tidiness I can live with. General difference in defining what clean means - not so much. If my SO thinks something is clean, and I don’t think so… 🚩 It’ll hunt you forever and becomes a major issue one day (paired with other issues that’ll arise for sure).
I think it’s more borderline between tidiness and what’s clean and what’s not. We all have our quirks.
Pro
Not that this solves your problem, but you are doing extra “chores” (folding clothes) for you, not for him.
Someone told me that once, made me think about my priorities and how I balanced home activities with my partner.
That’s a way of looking at things that I have been trying to adopt more and more. I certainly have been doing things which bother me personally but not her and have been telling myself that.
Although I expect certain things are just baseline (e.g. closing trash can lid) and those are the things which probably bother me more than anything else.
Enthusiast
Tbh, I would probably ignore it. Bigger battles going on in my house though😂
lol, good luck with that!