My 12 year old is asking me about LGBTQ and how I would feel if she were one of them (we narrowed it down to the L or B haha). I’m internally freaking out because she’s still my little baby, and is looking to “belong” somewhere. I wonder if she is leaning towards the LB side to “belong” somewhere without even knowing what it is. Am definitely supportive and listening to her, but she’s just 12, for crying out loud. Why so early … any experience or advice?

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“I trust that you’ll figure out what’s right for you over the next few years, and I’ll always love you exactly as much no matter what”

likehelpfulsmart

What politics?

I had the same experience with my kid a few years back, when they were a little younger. I wondered if they were too young to even be thinking about sexuality, but I sort of landed on that not being the point.

They just needed to know it wouldn’t matter to me, and it wouldn’t. That my love for them was not conditional on who they loved, so I did my best to make that clear. I let my kid know that my love doesn’t come with those types of preconditions. They can figure out what they are without worry (at least about their dads perceptions.)

For perspective, when I was in HS (straight cis male) I didn’t talk about girls with my parents, because I was pretty private. I was apparently so private about it, they figured there was at least a chance I was more interested in boys. They sat me down and proactively told me that no matter what, I was still their child and they loved me, and I could be whoever I was. Not a forgone position now, much less 20 years ago.

Even though I’m not gay, it meant so much to see how they loved me. I knew it was sincere. I aspire to be that supportive a parent.

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That’s awesome. Thanks for sharing and incredibly happy for you that you had so much love growing up. Definitely want to emulate that with my child.

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Those saying it’s too young or the media’s fault, my first wank was probably around 12 and I’m pretty sure I knew which girl/teacher I had in mind. Don’t be sheep.

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Statistically speaking, she’s probably not gay. But she is almost certainly being propagandized by people who are strongly pushing gender, race and sexual ideologies.

As a parent, your job is to help her separate fact from fiction and make sure she knows who she really is. If she’s legitimately gay, then fine. But there’s a far greater chance that she could just be going through an awkward stage where she’s uncomfortable with her body, feeling like a tomboy, etc. Help her understand that these are normal and natural and don’t automatically require some drastic change on her part.

Source: Am a parent of teenagers.

likefunny

I think the post was helpful and on point, except the comment about propaganda. There is a pretty big difference between propaganda and education, and to call it propaganda implies that you think the messaging (generally "be yourself") is not valid.

Anyway, I do agree with the bulk of the post, and I think your intent was to be helpful - and it sounds like it was to OP.

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When I was 12, I was absolutely feeling a certain way about some girls I went to school with. A lot of girls start puberty even younger which means hormones are happening early too.

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