{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My boyfriend is only 6 months older than I am and he is kicking ass at his job. It’s so hard to feel that even though I work 1.5x the hours he does and had to get my CPA and a master’s that he is making way more money/getting more recognition. His company wants to promote him to to manager soon while I feel like I’m licking shit off the floor for a pat on the back. How do I not get jealous???", "post_id": "5eeb5d29b1b1590022e1d1e2", "reply_count": 58, "vote_count": 30, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "The Work-Life Bowl", "feed_type": "bowl" }

My boyfriend is only 6 months older than I am and he is kicking ass at his job. It’s so hard to feel that even though I work 1.5x the hours he does and had to get my CPA and a master’s that he is making way more money/getting more recognition. His company wants to promote him to to manager soon while I feel like I’m licking shit off the floor for a pat on the back. How do I not get jealous???

likehelpful
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But like same team homie. I work a quarter of what the gf does and make 4x but at the end of the day, we know its the same team and we are equal equity partners because I wouldn’t be where i am without her. Shes stayed up late to help me study for exams before. Shes had my back when i was struggling at work. And now that we are comfortable i remind her that WE did this. Not just me. Its our house, our money and our life. Sounds cliche af but when we argue sometimes i just say “same team?” And we just take a minute and it all works out. We dont get jealous of each other because we want wants best for each other and we want to do it together.

likeuplifting

Love this, and you are right! Same team and recognizing eachothers efforts is important!

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Not always true but 95% of the time true - you will pass him over the long term. There are plenty of studies that show the longer at pwc (or any similar Firm) the higher your earning potential. And a few other things to consider for 95% of the instances - if he’s working less he’s not getting as much experience which is valuable, his year in year raises most likely don’t match pwc 1 and 2 rated raises. And ask what his boss (or partner equivalent makes) and then ask a partner what they make. It helps to have the long view. Like you I was quite upset that friends in the pharma business were making 3 to 4x what I was making. That gap closed and now is reversed. I’d rather make 3 to 4x the larger number. Time is your friend and great equalizer here. That career advice. Now for love advice, it seems like you are competitive. You might want to find a lower achiever with no ambitions and a dismal future so you can always be better than him. Perhaps that will make you happy. Or you might realize how good it is to have someone striving for success and getting it. But status quo won’t work for you.

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You guys are weird. Stay in your lane and be happy for your partner, as that’s also your success.

likesmartupliftinghelpful

This mofo is killing it in oil and gas rn?!? 🤯

My gf works for the federal government and makes the same money with about 1/3 of the hours. It’s frustrating, but for me it’s made me look for better balance in future roles instead of resenting her success

likehelpfulsmart

Yeah I can also say OP that if you work for the state this is probably true as well.

Destroy the idea of competition. Especially when it comes to a loved one... in this capitalistic age, im just hoping we all make it ✌🏼

likesmart

Sounds like you are an auditor....

likefunny

Are you doing anything with the digital side at PwC? Also, how solid is your network at work? A lot of times people think that developing technical skills in tax/audit are what makes the biggest difference. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Play the game if you’re not already. Be active in the different diversity groups, get digital badges and build your network. You’re in a good spot because you have someone that motivates you to do better. Healthy competition in a relationship can be a good thing. Jealousy on the other hand, is toxic. 😊

likesmart

My husband and I have been together for 15 years. We met in our MBA. Since then we’ve each had our winning streaks and our losing streaks, time off, time to take a risk to build something new, time to raise kids and care for dying relatives. Your career is a marathon, not a sprint and it will go up and down. So will your partner’s. Try to take the long view.

likeuplifting

Thank you

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My partner out earns me... Like metric tons. She out earns me because of her career field. She out earns me because she made different decisions. She does way, way, way less work than I do. She will even tell you. I don't see it as a competition, I see it as an aspiration. My partner's strategic decisions help me sort out what's important, how to negotiate, how to recognize a good opportunity... Etc Shift your perspective.

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It’s ok to admit that you’re feeling a little jealous. I don’t think it’s competition at play either. It’s natural to be frustrated when you’re working hard and the needle isn’t moving. I encourage you to work with your manager(s) to build an action plan with metrics so it feels less like you’re spinning your wheels.

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Crunching numbers for 12 hours a day would drive me into involuntary commitment to licensed mental health facility. All in all, you seem to be thriving and handling this better than most. Think positive😉

So my wife is outstanding at her job and she loves it. She moved into an exec training program and won her company CEO award. I’m really proud of her. She makes maybe 1/3rd what I do. I don’t care and she shouldn’t either. If one day they make her VP of that biz unit and shes making more than me, I’ll be happy to take a back seat. It is a marathon rather than a sprint.

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“Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and in the end it’s only with yourself.” Be happy for your partners success, but also remember that career success and earnings do not define your self worth. There are lots of thankless jobs that don’t get a lot of glory but doesn’t mean they’re not worthwhile. Also your partner may be ahead now but you don’t know what ten years from now will look like.

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Its not completely unwarranted to feel a little jealous but try to look at the positives - both you and your partner have well paying jobs and that is a blessing in this economy. Also, keep in mind that different people peak at different times and your time will come, if you keep seeking the right opportunities and work to your strengths.

likehelpfulfunny

I feel you... but boyfriend works in tech, makes 20% more than I do, and he complains whenever he has to work past 6, which doesn’t even happen a lot. I recommend you redirect this energy to improving skillset and finding a job that pays better

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My husband is a software engineer, working like 30hr/week and making 3 times than I am. If you count busy season rate, that’s like 5 times. I’m happy someone in the house can take the burden of making money so I don’t have to be worried about losing job or don’t make enough

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It’s no secret that that’s what Tax/Audit are like. As someone who came from Audit, so many of my former coworkers just complain and complain, but never leave. They always push the fallacy that “ugh but I have to stay until manager, or until X level”... No you don’t lol just leave

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Be happy for him and try to get a job at his firm. If your current firm doesn't recognize your effort it's not the right place

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How much of the problem is lack of respect you are getting at PwC? Would changing roles within PwC or perhaps even just projects help? Do you want to think about taking a job using your skills somewhere else? Sometimes jealousy comes from our own frustration and building a plan for change gives a channel for that energy.

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Bear in mind, you likely have more job security/mobility with your professional services background.

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Let me guess. Sales?

Everything ebbs and flows in time. There may be a time when you are more successful, more recognized, get a big promotion/bonus. Just do your best work! Celebrate each other and built a healthy support system and you’ll do great.

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Is it the same job?

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