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I think the easiest way to connect with people is to either show genuine appreciation or give a genuine compliment. It's easy to do and invites a positive connection.
I feel the same sometimes, and talking to my therapist I discovered I'm afraid to be perceived as too weak for being a female police officer. After understanding this, I've been able to open a bit more and to stop pretending I'm always upset.
That's just a matter of experience. The longer you spend doing any job, the better you will get at it. The fact that you recognize this shortcoming is actually very encouraging, because that means you are focused on changing it. Be patient with yourself. It can't happen overnight.