Related Posts
Conversation Starter
Community Builder
More Posts
Pro
What are the top sales companies to work for?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
Sign Up to see all discussions
- Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
- Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
- Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
"" is an unusual email domain. If correct, please proceed to the next step
Messaging rates may apply
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Share
Embed this post
Copy and paste embed code on your site
Preview
Download the
Fishbowl app
Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile
Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl
Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl
Messaging rates may apply
Efff that. Like you’re going to gain and lose weight through the course of your life. Age, babies, stress will all cause these. Your partner should love and motivate you. Not make you feel poorly or unattractive. It’s not like you’re obese or at a point where your weight messes with your health. We should be with people that used uplift each other and bring each other love and joy. Don’t settle for any less.
🙌🏻🙌🏻
Hard pass. I’ve been with my husband for 17 years and trust me, there are a lot of unattractive, non-sexy moments down the road, especially if you decide to have kids. 20 lbs is nothing compared to some of the stuff that happens.
Yes!! You are so right! And he better be George Clooney or Jamie Foxx who both age timelessly. And even those gentlemen wouldn’t be so rude.
His delivery sounds horrible but men are visual and like what they like…if you’re happy otherwise and want to lose weight I would discuss how crappy his delivery was but explain that you’re committed to losing weight (if you are). His delivery is mean but I think it’s actually nice/honest to be direct and say hey…you’re losing me. If you’re happy with your body and don’t want to lose weight then move on.
I agree, great that he was honest, but wonder if he’ll be faithful or attracted to someone else instead when you need him most.
1st of all… 20 pounds heavier than when y’all met isn’t a ton so he’s wrong for that! Also, it’s all about HOW we say certain things. My boyfriend has known me small & fat. A few months ago he said that we could both be more healthier and get more active. I’ve since lost 11 pounds and counting. It’s because he said it with love and I honestly already knew I needed to lose weight.
You’re right for being upset because he could be more sensitive to the fact that you’re actually trying. I don’t think it’s a deal breaker but this warrants a serious conversation about the words he chose to use.
Pro
These comments would be very difficult for me to personally get over. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who talked about me this way.
I think the person you are meant to be with would want to build you up instead of bringing you down. There are ways to help each other and that comment is not one of them. That would immediately make that person “unattractive” to me. You deserve better!!
I have a friend who went through something similar, where he called her unattractive bc of her weight gain and is still with the guy and I honestly can never not think about that every time I see him. You don’t love someone and say something so hurtful. There are different ways to go about this and what your boyfriend said is not ok. You don’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve you. It’s hard, I know from experience, but you deserve someone MUCH better.
This is a clear 🚩 🚩
To me it's about the effort- if my significant other gained a lot of weight and i could see it was because they stopped taking care of themselves i might be upset. But if you're taking care of your body and staying healthy then that's completely uncalled for, it should be a given that people may fluctuate weight over time naturally
For me it’s that he knows you have trouble with this and that he still said it.
He is either dismissing/downplaying how problematic it is for you (mentally) or he knows and doesn’t care because he hopes that his cruel words will make you change.
If he's only willing to be intimate with you if you're his ideal weight then something tells me there will be issues in the future. "I love you... but only if you're fit."
That kind of talk from your partner is unacceptable. It indicates that he sees you and your worth as your body and not who you ARE. We are not our bodies. And you deserve someone who loves you for you. You are worthy.
End it now. You don’t want someone like this in your life.
You really should lose some weight, between 170 and 200 lbs which is what I estimate the douche’s weight to be 😂
Hard pass ! Just imagine what his comments would be once you are pregnant; comments like these will eventually make anyone feel insecure and not confident in their relationship
Leave!!!! If he’s not adding to your life, building you up then he’s not right for you. Let him go find a Barbie Doll who doesn’t have a job and can focus all of her time on her looks. Every woman of every size of any color etc has life happen to them in some way or another. You need to be with someone who will love you unconditionally through all of your transitions.
It doesn’t matter why you’ve gained weight. What matters is that you love yourself enough to be alone and not be emotionally abused. Move on. Please.
I wonder how attractive he is to make such comments about you. It’s hard to end long relationship, but if you can’t get positive energy from this person, it only means he’s not the right one. Don’t waste more time to make this relationship even longer.
bye boyfriend
Time to drop 170 lbs of dead weight if you know what I mean #thankunext
You are absolutely right to be mad wtf. My husband has struggled with weight his whole life and he has gained about 25 pounds in the past year and a half & is very self conscious about his body image. He is going to the gym and trying to eat better to fix it now. Not once have I ever commented on his appearance negatively. In fact, I make sure to tell him even more how attractive he is & how much I love him. Every time he gets insecure about it, I reassure him that he’s the most attractive man in the world to me. He has done the same for me when I gained about 15 pounds a couple years ago. Unconditional love should always be in a relationship despite appearances bc that will change with time….I hate to be that person but sounds like you need to drop him sis
Someone that truly loves you would be attracted to you regardless. Yes, there can be a concern for health because he cares about your well-being, but this sounds downright demeaning and manipulative.
Don’t compare your relationships to others, but take a step back and think about if you truly want to spend your life with someone who makes comments like that, only you can decide if you deserve better!
Borderline of what he thinks is attractive?! You don't get with and stay with someone because they're physically attractive. Physical features change. You get with and stay with someone because of a million different things, not just because you find them physically attractive. And he's said it twice? To me, that apology means nothing and would make me feel like the love is only skin deep.