My daughter just told me that she doesn't feel like I care about her life and I'm absolutely devastated. She said that she feels like my work is my child and she's just a roommate and I don't even know how to begin addressing this in a real way. I told her I would make some real changes to right this, but I also don't know exactly what I should do and what are things I can implement right away vs long term.

Oh my heart breaks for you. I have a daughter as well. It’s probably hard to see right now but it’s very good that she came to you with it - She wants you in her life. As for meaningful changes, I would recommend commitments to eachother that might seem small but they are long term. Like work blackouts daily, eating dinner together x times per week, taking on a role at her school. Another thing I try to do is be the house her friends can come to - so we have an apartment full of kids a few nights a week.
I hope this is helpful in some way - it really is so good she brought it up (even if in anger) so you can address it. The fact that you are willing to change is what she will remember.
(If you need a sympathetic ear pls dm me)

I feel this. I have two teenaged daughters and I’m a solo parent with a very demanding job. My girls have asked me if my phone is permanently attached to me. They have said that I don’t really care about their lives. I made changes. Every Friday is Family Fun Night. Tech-free. What we do depends on whose turn it is to choose. Choices are: restaurant, board game night, movie home or out, or spa night. We do that almost without fail. I also do one “date night” a month with each girl 1-on-1. Usually dinner out. When we have dinner together, no phones. And I do my best to not miss sports games. That last one is tough. But l do my best to move my schedule around, even if it means working until 2am to catch up. It’s a commitment, but so are they. And we won’t have them for long. Good for you, mama, for reaching out. Don’t forget to sometimes just plop yourself next to her and say “what’s doin?” sometimes. Those moments matter too. xo

A quick question for you. Do you think it’s true? I highly recommend you use your company’s EAP immediately and get counseling etc to help you both right now — but also give yourself some grace. And talk to a therapist or counselor to see if it’s true, or if your daughter is having other issues and this is how she is getting your attention. Either way - counseling will help. God bless!

I think an easy start would be to simply talk to your daughter more. See when you can fit in some time to chat with her. If you can't be home as much as you want, talking to her on the phone can be a good substitute.

My best conversations with my two teenage daughters are when we go out for a walk. Being outside, phones in pockets, just walking (to get ice cream, to the park and back, or taking the dogs, whatever). My daughter who is famous for one-word answers like ‘fine’ or ‘good’ turns into a chatterbox within a block or two. It’s so great to spend one-on-one time like that.

Oh mumma, this is so tough! But like others said, the fact that she told you is a good sign – a lot of kids wouldn't, so she feels like you will listen.

I don't have teenage kids, but I felt like this when I was a teenager. But I never told my mum because my dad had left and she worked hard to take care of us. All I wanted was for her to listen, to ask questions, to be interested in my life. She often would start giving me advice that I didn't need. I just wanted to know she cared about me. I now understand how hard it was for her, but I didn't understand that at the time.

All of the suggestions above sound great! Dinner together is sacred in our house and we have a 2yr old. Date nights, adventures together. It's all about quality time.

You can turn this around! ♥️

Ask her! She may not always know how to articulate it, but she probably already has some very real ideas of the ways she’d like to spend time with you. It’s so great she felt she could speak up in the first place, and that you’re willing to listen. Just take some time to go for a walk or get a little ice cream together, tell her you heard her, and give her lots of open space to respond. Sending lots of love to you both - the working world is hard for women of all ages!

I get this a lot from my daughter (13) as well. I'm a single mom and have always had to work 2+ jobs, meaning I missed a lot when she was little- now, I have a more steady job (and only 1!) So i feel like i have tons of time with her, and of course know that I need to work, but teenagers don't have all the context.

A few things I've learned over the years:

-when you're present, BE present- no phone checking, no looking at the watch, etc. If the time together is limited, maximize it.

- Usually she starts kicking up the complaints when something else is going on- maybe friends are ignoring her, she's stressed about school, etc. If that's the case I find if I can get to the root if the issue and talk it through with her, it gives her the time/ focus she's looking for

- Remember that sometimes teenagers just want to bitch 😉 you have to work (or you love to work, or whatever your reason is) and sometimes they need to accept that and "entertain themselves". You should not feel guilty for working!

What’s incredible to me in this post is the number of moms (or kids in general, I don’t believe this is exclusive to girls) - whose kids are calling them out for their attachment to phones and tech. We might be forgiven for assuming the attachment to and obsession with tech is something parents complain about - not kids. Love the many examples above for real time together without tech. Create shared experiences, build memories, learn invest your time in them. They know when they’re not the priority.

It's such a blessing that she even feels comfortable enough to say this to you. I have had colleagues who have had to deal with their teenagers acting out because they weren't getting enough attention. Now you have the opportunity to turn that around.

I feel for you - I have a video of my 11 year old crying that I didn’t pay enough attention to him. He’s 24 now and I am still making sure I create time for him and his 2 sibling (18,19) individually.
1. Say I am sorry and ask for forgiveness - don’t make any excuses.
2. Tell her the changes you’ll make and keep your word - don’t do work when you’ve arranged time together.
3. Schedule the time the same way you make appoints for everything else
4. Share your work - bring to office, have her do small tasks that have you working together
5. When she’s doing homework - sit with her and do job work.
6. Don’t break appointments with her
7. For work share you have commitment that has to be kept and stick to it. The team and client will respect you and you’ve earned based on your ethic.
8. Once a year we’d get in the car and just pick a direction and drive til we wanted to stop. Some of our best times. All 3 of the them and me - no Dad. Separate from our family vacation for 3 days. Great memories. Some years I’d do weekend trips one at a time. Right now with so many different schedules - we are thinking about how to re-design our trips.

These are all amazing suggestions! Set and keep boundaries so that you can effectively implement whatever you choose to do. Every time you do that, you are also modeling behavior for your employees and creating space for them to do the same with their families.

Do you have leaders in your organization who you trust and respect to keep things humming along while you step away - even for an hour or two? If not, work on that as well. Is the issue them or you? You’re a CEO and founder and your business probably does feel like your child. What do you need to do so that you can step back and let your business spread its wings, the same way we have to let our flesh and blood children do?