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Daily Reflection 1/21

Acceptance is the answer.

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It’s totally out of your control. No amount of love in the world from you will make him stop doing drugs. He has to reach a point of desperation to change. Change the things you can, accept the things you cannot.
I'm so sorry I feel your pain I also have my only daughter in drugs. I was very confused, and frustrated and had night that I couldn't sleep trying to find a way to fix the problem but I found out that I'm not in control and the only one that can fix it is GOD, so I prayed and read the bible, that has brought me a lot of peace and joy back in my life. I'm not in control he is! I pray that this will bring you some comfort and peace in Jesus's name. Amen 🙏🏾
Fellow addict here. My dream is literally to live off the grid. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with checking out for a bit in whatever form works for you. For some it is rehab, others it’s the quiet and solitude of nature. I can tell you this decision does stem from relationships with my family and friends that my alcoholism certainly has ruined, but us addicts handle stress and uncertainty a little differently.
In short, it’s nothing personal. Addiction is an ongoing mental battle and sometimes I just need a break from my day to day life to reset and breathe. I hope this helps! I’m sure your son immensely appreciates the love and support, even if it’s not always said directly or shown directly.
Thank you for your kindness and sharing your perspective, I really appreciate that. I suppose I'm just having a tough time coming to terms with the idea that someone will choose to live that way. I know it's not my place to force them to be a certain way, but I can't help but feel like this was my fault somehow. Sorry if I'm rambling, this is just all so puzzling to me and I'm having a hard time...
I'm sure this must all be very confusing to you, I can't blame you for spiraling, but it's important to remember that you are not in complete control of what others do. If your son doesn't want to help themselves, then there is little you can do beyond what you already have. Forcing someone to subject themselves to treatment or rehab will likely only create a bigger rift between the two of you.
I agree whole heartedly
OP I've been sober about 17 months. My dad was worried about my drinking since high school. He was in medicine he knew what alcoholism looked like. He was never cruel about it or aggressive or mean about it just concerned and there for me. He died when I was 24 and my drinking and drug use spiraled even more competely out of control after he was gone. I got sober on the 1 year anniversary of his death. In early sobriety and now I remembered all his words of love kindness and encouragement and I was finally able to take his good advice. You never know your son might decide to get better one day after hitting his rock bottom. But you might not get to see it. I needed to lose everything included my dad to truly hit a low enough bottom that I was ready. Good luck 🤞
This is heartbreaking but I hope you're on a fulfilling, wholesome journey now. Thanks for taking the time to craft your response.
I'm sober not that long and I'm going to have to tell you what a woman got me there I've done my family so wrong things in my heart although anybody tell you I'm a good person drugs are so controlling and even though I just told you a woman got me there she only showed me the light I'll be turning 40 this year and been to prison 15 years none of that changed me it just took one day the realization of losing her and what I had to finally say I have to get sober so I'm not going to tell you not to show him love I'm not going to tell you two showing love I don't know the answer but just know it's not your fault it's not anything that you can do or control and I don't know where you're at but like I would love to talk to him
Bowl Leader
The best suggestion I can give is to seek out a local Al-Anon meeting (https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-al-anon-meeting/).
When there’s an addict in the family, every family member is impacted in ways they aren’t even fully aware of. The constant state of worry and anger and confusion and frustration and helplessness takes it toll on the family over the years. Al-Anon can introduce you to people who have experienced (or are currently experiencing) the exact same thing as you.
The best thing you can do for your son is to focus on yourself in a healthy, loving way. Miracles do happen, but not because anyone of us has forced them upon someone else.
Sincerely,
A sober son
This is amazing. I'd never heard of it before and definitely will check it out. Thanks!!