My wife and I work at the same company and are at the same level, doing the same role, though different departments. She gets paid 15% less than me. I joined after her and didn't know her salary. We've been living with this for a while, and she's gone back asking for a pay bump but been denied, but she did not mention that she was married to a man who had a different pay rate. Should she go back again and mention that? She was hesistant to bring our personal lives into it, but I thought she should call that out specifically. I'm not sure what I should do on my side.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

No. It’s not helpful to say “Bob makes 15% more than me” in negotiating compensation.

There is a compensation range for all roles - they can easily say well, I looked at your compensation and it falls within the 75-100% quartile, so you make more than 75% of the folks in this role and folks with higher compensation are higher performers.

Compensation is often unfair and it could be due to negotiation and background. If your wife truly wants more money, she needs to go and get a competing offer and leave, get promoted, or continually mention compensation so that her manager knows she’ll leave without a market adjustment. Her manager will get that this means a lot to her and either try to get a market adjustment, or he won’t in which case she should leave.

like

Yes!

like

She should go back and say “ I know my male colleagues are paid 15% more, and furthermore after researching on Glassdoor and etc I have confirmed I am being paid X less then other professionals in my same region and level. How are you going to close that gender gap?”
If you have any male friends at the same level in the company, she can also confirm with them they are payed more ( I’m sure they are, but as leverage) - but the most important thing I think is to present it as their problem ( the employers) because it is. Keep it professional, but keep it consistent and clear. They have chosen to take advantage of social norms that you can get away with paying women less- and they need to fix it.

If they are unwilling to put a plan in place ( say a smaller raise every few months until she matches the existing salaries etc) or a written promise for larger raise at the end of the year- she might have to be willing to start looking for a new job ( to get what she’s worth).

But it’s not about your relationship at all, it’s about the employer choosing to pay women less.

like

Would others objectively say your wife performs at the same level as you do ? See, this is where comparisons like this are tricky. If you are objectively the same performance level for the same exact period of time then perhaps you should be paid less or she should be paid more, but it's impossible to remove all subjectivity to two workers value to an employer even if it's the same job at the same company in the same department. To imply this is the result of gender bias I think is overly simplistic... Not that you are doing that, just saying

like

Every level has a pay range, with each individual salary being dependent on unique factors. Sounds like you want to blame it on sex, though it very well could be that she is seen as one of the lower performers on the team, and her salary reflects that.

Is she homegrown? How does she compare to others in her dept and you to yours?

The department might be the case. Depends on which side of the balance sheet that department is. If you’re in sales and she’s in support. Then yeah support is going to pay less, it’s more of a cost vs a rev generator.

Then again we’re going off of assumption here.

Might be best to mention the 15% difference from other males in the workplace.

If your company has communicated any support in rectifying the gender pay gap then yes. If not, then I think it’s probably too risky to rock the boat. I’d suggest she look elsewhere, the job market is hot in tech right now. Tell her to find a place that appreciates & compensates her for her worth. She can negotiate the higher compensation at the new company.

Other questions: you say you joined after her. How long after her? What was the period during which she arrived at her current salary? What was her starting salary? How many women with comparable experience at her level in that department and in the company as a whole? These are very difficult stats to get to begin with, let alone discreetly.

But here are the most important questions: regardless of your own salary, how does your wife feel about her compensation? That is to say, if you weren't working there and she was unable to draw direct comparisons (iffy to begin with), does she feel overworked/undervalued? How much does she love this position, regardless of tenure? Has she reviewed the current salary data for people at her level (male or female)?

If she really likes the job, the people, and the environment, there may be some minimally confrontational paths forward. One approach: if she hasn't already, she should review her strongest relationships with men in her department either at or immediately above her level (not necessarily her manager). She should subtly drop hints that she's undervalued and ask them for help in promoting her ideas, in meetings and elsewhere (if they are, of course, good ideas). Now, if her ideas are already moving forward much of the time and she's still not being given more benefits, then there is too much mindset resistance along the management chain or even the company and she should consider a move (i.e., her chances of changing things at the company, even just for herself, are low).

Another two cents from my friend who's been an HR executive for 20+ years:

It matters which state as some states allow employees to disclose their comp to other employees without repercussions from the company.

Regardless, if I were advising the employee, I would suggest that they ask their manager whether they feel that they are being fairly compensated for their current role and if the company has salary bands or ranges for specific roles. In CA, employees can ask what those are. Then let them know that they are concerned for the company because they hope that they are not being paid less than others doing the exact same role at the company because they identify as either; female, or catholic, or over 40, or Asian, etc. If there is a decent HR team at the company, usually this question is then immediately raised to them.

Related Posts

Hey Folks can anyone tell me what hike we can expect from Senior 2 Year 1 to year 2 as progression in Ey gds in coming incremental cycle.

like

Hi Fishes,

My LWD is 14th March 2022. I work as a DevOps Engineer and got 2.10 month of experience. Currently looking out for referral. Please do let me know if any leads. Would be highly appreciated. Thanks :)
YOE - 2.10 years of Experience in AWS DevOps
Current location - Bangalore

like

Hey, Deloitte USI is hiring for the following positions. Please reach out to me in case you want to apply.

Happy to help..:)

Post Photo

*REFERRAL ALERT*
Please let me know if anyone wants referral for below open positions in IMPETUS.
Kindly DM.

Post Photo

I'm looking at pediatric NP jobs in San Diego, CA.

What is the salary at the different clinics and hospital? Rady's? Scripps? UCSD? Clinics?

like
like

My boss left to take a role as a CEO, she can’t take me with due to no poaching . I’m under a new leader that I do not gel with. Background on me , combat veteran with various awards, medals etc , cyber , sales , consulting background. Seeking Sr. director or VP role . Any leads appreciated and thanks!

likehelpful

Which companies could help me with a Salary survey for Traders and Analysts working in the UK Power Markets?

like

What's the difference in salary between Business Technology associates and data science associates in ZS?

like

Thoughtworks hiring for senior data engineer. DM me for details

Post Photo
like

Hi Fishes and Sharks,

I am getting offer from Boston Scientific on 3rd party payroll (Kelly services), is it good to join? Do anyone working with Boston on Kelly payroll, please provide some insights on salary hikes and other stuff.

like

Hi All,

Mindbody (US- based Product Company) is hiring for below position in Pune Location.

All Flexible option available to work from Anywhere. (WFH/WFO/Hybrid)

If anyone need a referral then DM me. Kindly confirm your full name and position you are interested in..

Thank you.

Post Photo
like

Anyone from MBB willing to give feedback on my resume? I’m about to apply to the generalist role in the US office.

like

Is this a strong offer in Pharma or should I negotiate for more at Supervisor level: 110k base, 35k equity (25% vested after 1 year and the rest divided within 3 years), no sign on bonus, 10k relocation assistance, and 13% annual bonus. FYI: I have 8 years of experience and a M.S.

likesmart

I am currently working as an entry level claims adjuster. I am just about done with onboarding and I am interested in growing and earning more. I’m relatively young (30) and I want to make a good career for myself. My current salary is 50K and I am curious what growth is available financially. I am interested in fire and theft and SIU, but these are not the only roles I want to try. Does anyone have any idea the salary ranges available as I go further into different roles? (URBI,ARBI,F&T) etc?

like
like

Curious to what others make for their yearly salary for a fast food restaurant general manager

likehelpful

Why does AC Bangalore pay more than AC Kolkata?

They are both PwC entity serving offshore clients yet such a big difference. The difference in pay is simply mindblowing. The average SA 1 pay at AC Bangalore is higher than M1 pay at AC Kolkata! Why so? What are these Bengali leaders cooking there?

likeupliftingsmart

More Posts

Friends, anybody from CitiusTech Chennai location. Need your help..

Currently a manager in development/project finance at a utility company on $165k all in. 40hr weeks max, fairly easy going environment and WFH. What are salaries like in Toronto and is it worth moving to Big4 for Manager / SM?

like

Has anyone transitioned from a nurse to an epic application analyst role? What was your starting hourly wage and what state are you in?

like

Hi All,
My current designation is System Engineer & have worked as a Windows and VMware Administrator as a part of it.

Recently, I have moved to Azure IAAS & working as an Infra Admin. I am a bit confused about choosing the next path for my future growth. Can anyone give me some suggestions on what to proceed for the next, where I can use my current skills and focus on new ones which help in my career growth? Thankyou.

My total YOE is 4.4 years.

like

I have 13+ yoe in java, springboot, microservucrs, which cloud I should learn aws, azure or gcp

like

I’ve been at my clerkship for 5 years (4 with a different judge) and one with my current judge, and I heard horrible things about him before starting, but I assumed they were exaggerated. Turns out they’re all true, and I’ve had to start therapy to deal with him and the incredibly toxic environment. I’m trying to get out ASAP b/c he also has a history of firing clerks without cause or notice, but I think I’ll only be able to give two weeks notice if i get the job I’m interviewing for. Thoughts?

like

Hi all,

Have an offer from PWC for 22l (fixed). Yoe-7
For senior product manager role in S&P global Market Intelligence, how much can I ask for with current offer in hand? Does S&P provide entire fixed or there is a variable component?

Also will help, if you can share details about WLB, average yearly appraisals etc..this will help me decide!
Thanks in advance !!

like

Could anyone refer me for a customer success role at Slack?

like

Wondering what other Business Analysts make? And what should I be making, I have been in this role for 1 year now

like

My friend sent me a shoddy resume to review after submitting it for a job in NYC. She got the job anyway. Is the market finally at a place were grammar errors are acceptable?!

like

I have cleared the HR round, first stage interview with Sr. vice President & vice president, now I got an invite for a second stage interview with the director, does this mean that i have been selected? Or will there be any other round after the second stage? What questions will I have to face from the director? It's an AVP trade support role.

like

What is expected package for E2 Band- Security specialist profile

like

How long NielsenIQ takes to release final offer letter after sharing salary breakup ?

likeuplifting

Jr AD presenting his idea in a meeting with clients

Post Photo
likefunny

Has anyone tried the idea of swapping creative teams with another company’s in-house team for a one-off project? Thinking it would be nice to give the creative teams a change of pace by working a different brand.

like

Currently looking for a food grade warehouse in TX (flexible in location). Require protection from heat (72F would be perfect). Hit me with your suggestions.

like

Got a FAANG offer that I’m really happy with. Do I really need to negotiate...?

like

Those of you who applied to government jobs, did you use your current manager as a reference?
I just got the Reference check questionnaire from CRA and they want my current manager as a reference. I do not want my current manager to know am looking for a job. How do I deal with this situation?
This is the 1st time am being asked to provide current manager as reference while job hunting. Is it a new thing in the hiring process?

funnylike

Hi TCSers,


Will we have any project specific interview or client interview before joining TCS?

Will it more like a round to reject further?

Im really worried.I still have 35 days of notice period left and I received a call from a TCS employee today and she asked me to share my resume to a project manager when asked she said it is for its tracking purpose.

Please let me know.

like

Additional Posts in Tech

I'm an Engineer at Twitter and want your opinion: What is your opinion about our decision to shut down forwarding of that bogus NY Post article yesterday? Personally I'm for it.

like

Hey everyone,
This may sound repetitive but could any one suggest me how to prepare for FAANG ?
Resources and strategy ?

like

Does anyone have a good recommendation for resources or a company that helps with international investment advice? I'm quite early in my career, but as a UK citizen working in Ireland and wanting to move abroad to the US or elsewhere, it's such a headache to know what to do, considering the different legislations.

like

I'm interested in getting into GitHub . My experience is mainly web development with the MERN stack, but a lot of the jobs I see are for ruby there. Does anyone who works there know if they'll hire someone without a lot of experience in Ruby? Any advice on how to break in there?

PS dog tax just cause.

Post Photo
like

What’s the average annual salary for a Chief of Staff in tech, based in NYC? I’m googling and finding mixed answers.

like

Any technical program managers at Facebook (Meta) on here? I have some general questions about the role and company. Please message me!

like

Walmart is hiring developers (especially looking for Java, Ract Js, React Native, or any other SDET). Let me know if you’re interested and I’ll refer you!

like

Looking for referrals for Meta if anyone can help me out! I applied for the Associate General Counsel (Commercial) role and am coming from a publicly traded company where I have been the Regional Counsel. 10 years experience in-house, 5+ doing commercial agreements. Really interested in this position! If you're willing to refer me please DM me and we can work something out! TIA

like

Hello everyone!

I have a phone call tomorrow with a recruiter from Google for an Administrative Business Partner position.

I was able to connect with the recruiter because I reached out to the Director of the department that is hiring, where after reviewing my resume, the Director forwarded it to the recruiter.

I am posting to see if anyone has any pointers for me going into a phone call of this type. Thanks for any guidance! Happy New Year, everyone!

like

Is MongoDB a good company to work for?

like

I’m back at an early stage startup and my SQL skills are pretty rusty. No full time analytics person yet, so I need to re-learn SQL. Any suggestions for where to brush up my skills/take a crash course? I need to review the foundations and get to at least an advanced beginner if not intermediate level in the next month or so. Free is great, but would pay for something exceptional.

like

What have your experiences been in web3 / blockchain / defi / crypto companies in regards to culture, workload, diversity or anything along those lines? Curious to compare experiences, especially for non-cis, non-white, non-male workers 🤔

like

I'm running a compensated user study on a new conversational AI app we're building. If you're interested in being part of it, especially if you're in e-commerce or a web developer please DM me for the sign-up link. It should take at most 40 minutes of your time.

like
like