My wife is pregnant, expecting in October. I am in a specialty practice where it is just me and my partner. We have a fantastic relationship.

Understanding most people wait until the 2nd trimester to start telling colleagues, would you tell my partner sooner given the above context? If so, when? Thanks!

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Yeah tell the partner as soon as you want to

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Congratulations!

You should feel zero pressure to tell the partner quite this early. It is extremely common for people not to announce a pregnancy to anyone – even family members – until the start of the second trimester, because the risk of miscarriage drops significantly at the end of the first trimester.

So I don’t think there is any chance a reasonable person would hear you say “my wife is three months pregnant” and think “he ought to have told me sooner.”

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You don’t give notice until conflicts have cleared and you’ve signed the offer.

You don’t tell people until the 2nd trimester for the same reason.

likefunny

I was in the same boat (i.e, specialist and only one parter and me) and I told my partner right at the beginning of second trimester. They appreciated the heads up but there was nothing to really coordinate until maybe a month before the baby was due.

I think the extra lead up time helps if you want/need to take the time off to go with your wife to all of the check ups.

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I disagree with the frame of mind delaying telling someone with whom you work closely because of the risk of miscarriage.

Society sets people up to grieve in silent shame. Were the person who passed earthside, we would rally around their survivors and bring flowers and meals, provide grace, offer comfort, and generally treat the individual with a little more compassion and understanding than we do on ordinary days. But because society has us thinking we can't tell people about pregnancy for this risk of miscarriage, it means that in the event it does happen, the couple often hold the burden of their loss quietly between them and maybe a few close friends.

So I say tell your boss, not just because it is great news and it gives them ample time to plan and prepare, but also because in the event of something tragic you will have the support you don't want but would likely need.

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There’s been times where I’ve needed time off or to be given a break due to personal life matters. I’ve always been able to take it without anyone giving me grief or prying.

It seems we might be saying the same thing, just your circle of trust is bigger than mine and involves bosses.

Congrats!! 🎉🎉

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