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Don't be afraid to bust balls - these old, salty banking execs in NYC gain power and notoriety by being aggressive, and it gets to a point where their staff are afraid to question them.
If the head guy says he's gotta leave early, say something like "I'm not mad, just disappointed" and laugh- kills, every time.
What worked for me was scheduling coffee chats with as many Partners and Senior Managers as possible in my first 3-4 weeks to get an idea of who I think I would enjoy working with the most, and then reaching back out to volunteer to help them with any proposal or project work that they have coming down their pipeline. This allowed me to learn directly from people who I enjoyed working with and had already successfully advanced within the firm. Win-win.
Share your background, ask about theirs, talk about the kind of work you're most interested in, the types of projects/clients they most typically work on, etc. Just a casual conversation about what they do and what interests you. And they'll usually have another 1-2 people at the firm they think you should speak with which is helpful