SigOs on retreats? Partner over a small, specialized team in a smallish non-profit consulting firm fully remote for a few decades . For a few years my team was 2-3 FT staff (myself included). We had a retreat 1-2 times a year, usually in a city where we were support client work. Sometimes staff would bring a partner along and we'd meet up on the "optional dinner" w mandatory events team-only. I figured we'd meet each other's loved ones and families if we worked in an office. (cont in comments)

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In the past year we have grown to a dozen permanent staff and I am reconsidering the informal, more the merrier approach. I worry about a few aspects: 1) It's starting to feel more like a "vacation/incentive trip" vibe instead of real important in person time. (We only get 3-6 days a year on the ground together.) 2) There are equity issues--for the childless and/or more affluent team members, it's a cheap trip to bring a partner, but some of my team have 2-3 kids, one has custody issues and another a medically fragile kid. Some partners have jobs where they can't easily travel, so not everyone has access to the "get to know my people" feel of it.

I have two big retreats coming up and am seriously considering saying it's team only for this year. Anyone have experiences/opinions in either direction? There's no official policy at my firm on this.

If you’re gonna allow partners, stick with the +1 dinner policy. If they can’t make it work, that’s on them. You’re covering the cost of one additional dinner, that’s it. Don’t cover their +1’s travel expenses to the venue either.

Otherwise, I’d host a separate event in a much less formal setting where everyone’s welcome.

Same deal with fully remote work, only a couple days a year in person etc. I would just stress that bringing spouse and family is completely and 100% optional (like you said in your first post). I love my family but even money aside I wouldn’t want to drag them halfway across the country. So let the partners bring their kids if they want but no pressure for junior staff

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