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For me, it took forever. A toxic place will have you believe you’re lucky to be there and failing even when you know you’re doing well.
But I realized I didn’t enjoy my day-today work, a lot of the things that weren’t working were unlikely to change, and if they didn’t change, my standing there was unlikely to change either, so my future would always be uneasy. And feeling “lucky to work there” isn’t a reason to keep doing so if you’re not enjoying life because of it.
I’m so glad I did.
It’s tough. Toxic agencies are like a gaslighting partner, eroding your confidence so you think you’ll never be happy anywhere else. You can spend years wondering if it’s your fault or the agency’s, but if neither of you are likely to change, you owe it to yourself to give something else a try.
Crying a lot. Working 60+ hour weeks on the regular. I was scared of the CCO/founder. I felt sick going into work. I distinctly remember the night I decided I had to leave. I was driving alone from NYC to VT for my good friends bachelorette party. I missed the car going up w my friends Bc I had to work late. I got lost somewhere in New Hampshire and was so exhausted and stressed out I ended up crashing at my in-laws house and driving through to VT in the morning. I realized it just wasn’t worth it. Wasn’t sustainable or healthy. I literally broke down crying in relief once I had decided it was enough. I was terrified to put in my notice, and I didn’t have a job lined up, but it was 100% the right thing for me. My advice: if you feel like you’re getting to that point, start saving now. I was very lucky to find a job fairly quickly (2 months or so) that I ended up loving - but times are tough. I’m so many ways. Start saving now.
I would randomly break down crying everyday
I haven’t gotten to the point of crying yet...but I do dread every Sunday night because it means the next day the start of 5 days of working in something that doesn’t make me happy. Just feel like I’m wasting away but don’t know if it’s workplace ennui or something more.
Life’s too short to spend 8+ hours a day hating what you do. Bad times at work should be the exception, not the rule. And if it’s seeping into your life beyond work (short fuse at home, sleeping issues, irritation at a partner), IMHO it’s time to go.
In this market, I wouldn’t leave a job without the next lined up.
Unfortunately, I knew for years and allowed myself to become physically unhealthy, lost friends, my boyfriend, my mind a little & eventually that job when they randomly let me go. I wish I’d left sooner before things spiraled as I’m still in therapy addressing trauma from experiences at that agency.
Take it seriously! I was too scared to leave without a backup, and only have regrets.
I have a similar experience. I knew for years. It started with a lot of sexist feedback about my personality (not my work) from other departments that I still find traumatic and caused me to question whether i am just a terrible person or what. Then we got a new CCO who was absolutely awful - terrible creative taste, micromanager, no vision for the agency. I would present work and she would literally ignore me and change the subject in meetings. She laid me off last October right before I accepted another offer that was in the works. I stayed because I didn’t want to leave my work partner and we’re in a small market and didn’t want to move away from our families. Get out asap. My new job is great, better agency, account, environment and pay, but anytime anything remotely like something at the old agency happens I lose my mind and end up crying all night. It’s been six months and I’m still not over that place.