Vying to get that sweet gig as the Rotisserie Chicken guy at Wegmans. Wish me luck.

likeuplifting
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What are your qualifications?

like

Good question. Thanks for asking.

Well, I’m quite passionate about spinning chickens. It’s been a dream of mine since I first ate a dead bird. So I’d be super happy if I was still twisting their corpses after 10 years with you guys

That being said, I’m also into gutting fish and swinging the bone saw on larger sentient beings.

Maybe one day I could be the produce manager. I’m real good at squeezing all the avocados to see if they’re ripe.

I heard they were looking for poultry rockstars with 37 years of meat experience.

likefunny

Yeah, they want 37 years of experience but want a Millennial.

funnylike

Do you have previous experience cooking chicken for Wegmans? Must be rotisserie to be considered.

like

No. But I did watch this several (many) times as a kid...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GG43jyZ65R8

You’re going to do great! You’ve got this!

uplifting

🙏 🐓

We believe in you. And we're not just saying that so you'll hook us up with succulent, delicious chicken. We mean it.

uplifting

Aww shucks. I will definitely hook you up with that succulent, delicious chicken.

Trying it on for thighs?

funny

Yah. Just winging it, y’know? Lots of leg work involved. I’ll keep you abreast of how things turn out.

like

Last year, I was the roast beef carving station guy at the Schwartz Bar Mitzvah. I wish you luck.

helpful

Thanks! Maybe we can do a collab and win that new Cannes Stainless Steel Lion.

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