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Rising Star
You manipulate terrible data into readable format for the person above you to analyze. Create a databook. Slap it onto a PPT. Cry and look forward to the weekend, only to get booked on another deal and have your weekend go up in flames. You just canceled date night for the 5th time in a row. Your partner leaves you but you don't care, you have EBITDA adjustments to find. Besides, there's a more important partner in your life. The FDD partner wants a trial balance by Sunday night and you can't let them down.
You've worked more than your peers in audit. You see the interns excited to work in "finance" and you cringe. You comfort yourself by saying "at least it's not audit," even though you realize that's an incredibly low standard and doesn't justify the hours or pay.
Realize you're expected to be on call like a banker but get paid a bit more than an auditor. You tell people you work in M&A or finance, but the PE firms you work with call you "the accountants" and it's true: you're a glorified auditor. A lot of deals are already good to go and you're brought in as a final check. Sounds a lot like... audit? Oh wait, is that an EBITDA bridge? You briefly delude yourself into thinking you're in finance or consulting, only for that perception to come crashing down when you're asked to translate a million rows of standard cost data into COGS. Say hello to your best friends: INDEX MATCH and XLOOKUP.
Rinse and repeat until you leave for FP&A or if you're more ambitious, go for IB or
corp dev, with potentially an MBA along the way.
P1 - yup I know I’ve seen this before ha