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Hello, I am working in HCL Technologiesas L1 resource my CWL is nagpur but I want to change my working location . It was changed a few months back but they have referred back to nagpur again saying because of some policies so I asked for a project change thought it may be useful for location change, it's been 23 months in my current project I asked for release but my sdm is not willing to release. I cannot travel back to Nagpur vijaywada is my nearest location. Please suggest how I can proceed.
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Almost every partner I have worked with in 8 years had kids later in life AND has a stay at home spouse. There’s merit to what OP is getting at - it’s very hard to make it through your senior / early manager years with kids and a working spouse.
SM here and agree strongly with this comment and OP. Partners in my office have kids, but let's not forget how the requirements change decade over decade. When some of their kids were born the audit (I am in RA) could be completed in a week. Today's seniors are my heros with the amount of stuff they are required to do and know. On top of it, most of female partners with kids have stay at home husbands, one has significant help (her mother). To the OP - don't give up your career dreams. Maybe yes take a slower path for times. The latest you can't be admitted to partnership is 50, and you need to work as a partner for 10 years to be fully vested, and mandatory retirement is at 60. You may still have plenty of time to have kids, slow down and then pick up the pace again.
I’m sure it’s easier said than done if you are a man vs woman. Most of caregiving responsibilities fall on women. We both work full time, but I’m expected to make breakfast, feed the kids, dress the kids, get their backpacks ready and drop them off to school/daycare in addition to getting ready and feeding myself. My husband starts work at 8am. I come to office at 9am, after I do all above mentioned for 3 young kids. I’m already exhausted by the time I get to the office! Lol
Same goes for dinners most weeks (hubby will cook on weekend and 1 weeknight, but the rest of the weeknight dinners and all lunches for kids are on me). Who makes (and attends) all doctor appointments, dental check ups, school meetings? Who checks in on (both sets of ) elderly grandparents and helps them with grocery shopping, doctor appointments, etc? Yep, me. We also have a child with special needs so add arranging therapies, following up in progress, doing exercises at home, etc. My husband is a great guy and works a lot to provide for our family, and we have some help (weekly cleaner, sitter, etc) but I still feel that my head is barely above the water.
I realize that this is just my situation and not everyone can relate (and we are very fortunate to be able to afford some of the help) but I can totally see where OP is coming from.
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It's absolutely tougher to put in the effort at work when you have competing interests or pulls on your time and attention - it could be kids and family or it could be other hobbies/interests.
Time is finite and well make choices. It's also 100% possible to succeed with multiple priorities. There are thousands of partners or other C level executives who succeed while making kids a priority. I did it, and I did it without a spouse and without a nanny. And I know others who have done the same. Yes, of course many people have a stay at home spouse or nanny support. But the bottom line is that it is possible. We all make choices on priorities. I'm happy with my choices and I have amazing memories with my kids and a great engaged/involved relationship with them. I hope that you find a similar path!
The partner on my team is a single mom. She is case and point of work smart not a lot. She enforces that on our team and constantly tells us to not work over time outside of busy season. She makes sure we are taking time for family and friends.
The MD over my work stream is a single mom.
Take all responses with a grain of salt. You have to understand what mix of work and family time feels right to you. Some people will say “look at me, I’m successful at work and still spends lots of quality time with my family”. What you don’t know is what does “lots of quality time with family” mean to that person. Does it mean dinner and some family time every night (or ever night possible). Or does it mean weekends and vacations. Or something else. And frankly the person advising you on Fishbowl may be delusional...they may think in their head that family means the most to them and they are balancing everything well. And their spouse and kids may feel a totally different way about the situation. I would recommend regularly asking your family if you are around enough and doing providing what they need from a spouse and parent. Ultimately it is what your family thinks that matters. You can believe you’ve got the balance thing figured out, but if your family doesn’t agree, then you probably need to change something.
purpose but those individuals just aren't willing to or able to put as much time into work. I'm thinking about myself 3-4 years out and I feel like I will pick my family first. It's making me already reevaluate whether I want to stay or go ahead and start my next chapter. It makes me sad because I do like what I do but the hours are just too much.
Don’t opt out before you’re even to that stage. It’s a huge issue facing women in our profession, opting out early.
I'm not a parent but I prioritize myself over my job. I'm other words, I'm the "kids" in my life
Good for you!! So many people don’t make their ‘life’ a priority until they have kids. I’m glad to hear you are setting an example!
I started PA as a single mom with twin babies and have raised a large family of six kids (blended) while working a successful career here. I think I am more successful because of the purpose it gives me and the ability to just let things that don’t matter go.
yes, I also see how sometimes when some serious matters arise like health or other important things my priorities switch AND I am still able to be a good manager, and deliver and meet deadlines etc. We need to stop putting our lives on hold and let other things in, and then we change and discover it's all manageable and even fun.
I think the logic of “success” is flawed. I am successful because of my family.
Been doing this for 15 years, and still love it! I started having kids as a manager. My spouse works full time too. We have 5 kids. I bust my bottom, but I also am passionate about work-life balance. Others think I’m a workaholic because they see me working at crazy hours, but I shut off for a few hours at least 3-4 weeknights each week to have dinner and get kids to bed then clock back on. I don’t work less, but I certainly take flexibility seriously. I work from home nearly everyday, so I save on the commuting time and use time more productively.
I’m so exhausted by the kid/career debate. Barf.
this makes me feel better about being 26 and single with zero prospects...as someone who wants to get married and have kids, it’s nice to know I’ll have my career to fall back on because I’m starting to doubt it will ever happen for me
All the Partners I know from my previous firm have kids
I have kids and have been in public accounting for almost 25 years. My husband does work but he owns his own business. I did have a nanny until the kids were each around age 5 but I’m very active in their lives. I am not nor ever have been on a reduced schedule and maintain a fairly large book of business compared to my peers. Sometimes it is challenging but sometimes you make tough decisions as well, like missing first or last day of school. But you have to also have the mindset to flex. I give up personal time and activities like golfing but that was a choice and for me I haven’t regretted it. Others have to support your flex like I don’t come in early but I also work late after kids go to bed. It is absolutely possible and I find that most individuals see barriers. I know there are but you also have to find ways that works for both sides. Oh and not divorced and been married for 15 yrs
Strongly disagree. I have been tier 1 director for 4 consecutive years with two kids. Most of the partners, manager, senior managers and directors in my office have kids.
This is just wrong. It’s all about time management and effective communication. As you move up, you have much greater flexibility.
Sure you could get to partner by working all the time. If that is your approach then no kids and no family is the way to go. I’ve seen 1 partner like that.
However, every other partner I have ever met has a family and kids. And they spend quality time with their families. How? Time management.
Every partner at my office has kids, and most of the senior managers and directors too, so maybe it's just your local?
I’m a female partner and have kids. It’s not unusual, but I do have a stay at home husband. The stay at home husband allows me the ability to not waste my time at home running errands and cleaning. I spend every opportunity I have with my children and husband and am protective of my time at work. I have never felt like my choices at home have jeopardized my success at work.
Almost every partner, senior manager and manager in my office is married with kids. It’s totally possible to be a high performer and enjoy family time. Try not to worry about what may or may not be a challenge for you in the future just based on what you see in your office. Take things 1 busy season at a time.
That’s a load of crap. I have two kids and won the chairman’s award.
You never know the situations behind why people don’t have kids either so don’t just assume the people you work with don’t have them to be successful in their careers. Lots of people struggle with fertility and the longer you wait to have kids, the harder it can be. There have been several threads about this topic on here and also speaking from personal experience.
This is a great point and also, some people just don’t want kids. My decision was made pretty early in my life before my career even started
I want to clarify that I am not saying you can't do both it just seems like it's not realistic. To provide perspective, I am in business tax with engagements where there are 2-3 people are on the client. The most impacted seem to be at the senior - manager level. If something needs to be done for a client there isn't much flexibility as to who is qualified or available to do it. I've seen people viewed as unreliable or lacking commitment because they just refuse to do 60 billable hours a week for 6 months of the year. at that point you are in the office basically from the moment you wake up to when you go to sleep so there is not much room to be flexible with time management.
This is wild. I need at least 7 hours of sleep a night.
Typical busy season is 9 to 10 for me, leaving home at 8am and getting home at 10.30pm, giving me 1.5 hrs to destress and get ready for bed. That’s 12 FULL ON billable hours with an hour max for lunch and dinner.
If it’s a bad busy season... I’ve done 6 months straight of takeaways with 2 months of 3am finishes by the end of it.