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Thank you all!
Signs someone is not cut out for this industry?
This is the crux
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Finally found THE one, after over a year of searching and trying out at least 5 different ones!
A nice comfortable office chair.
https://ergochair.co/collections/chairs/products/ergonomics-mesh-chair-w-adjustable-headrest-and-armrest?variant=32511617597491
My criteria: mesh seat and back, arms, headrest
I tried cheap ones from Amazon. Expensive, second hand gaming chairs. Tried HM Aeron (second hand) and while I didn't like the bulk and the general design, I was sold on the mesh seating. I wanted to get the ErgoChair 2 from autonomous, but it doesn't have mesh seat.
AMA.
What’s your rap name?
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You don’t owe him anything and he is an asshole for writing that. He reached out to you, not the other way. Forget the emoji, be gracious and buy him a Starbucks gift card.
Case closed.
There's a pretty good chance he's just a nice guy that is happy to help you out in your career. Bring him a this. Thank him again for his help. Move on.
Sorry. FB acting strange, and won't let me edit...
Don't bring him a this. Do bring him a coffee.
And if he grabs your ass when you leave his office, you should definitely report him.
To all these “it’s ok” to cut him slack posts above. What are you not seeing? Any senior person telling a junior “you owe me coffee” is a power play. So many good places to cut people slack. This isn’t one of them.
Thanks everyone here for your perspective. I intended to see what other people think since I’m just moved from India and also new in the industry. Seems like it’s more of generation/emoji gap right now because everything was very open and professional until then. He may be on this bowl and I’d feel really bad if he just really meant well professionally and said it in a light-hearted way and if he read this post. May I kindly ask: if we can let this thread up sink and not comment further? DM me if you want to discuss more.
Olds aren’t fluent in emoji the same way we are. Don’t worry about it as long as there’s no explicit creepiness
Excuse me 👵💕☕
Are you B? Nope. Not normal. I have zero tolerance for this shit. Only acceptable is some version of “I like you for <whatever> reason and I want to help you. Let’s get together in some appropriate place to talk about your growth”. (Late 40s guy here).
I totally agree. My wife asks me about messages she receives like this every now and then. It disgusts me because we all know what they’re doing 99% of the time.
He wants to bone you
Old people text weird. Source: I'm 30+ and I regularly get told the way my siblings and I text is weird by our younger cousins. That said, do be careful. Document it and save it for later if you're really concerned. Chances are, if I had to guess, it's not *just* the emoji that's making you feel this way. Trust your gut.
That’s a good point. By itself, it seems like a case of “old people text weird” but if in context it makes you uncomfortable, keep your distance.
The winking emoji is bad? I’m 45+ and I sent this to a much younger staff member last week. I actually send 😉 all the time to indicate “this text isn’t too serious” and I’m absolutely NOT flirting.
I don’t consider this quid pro quo at all - “you owe me coffee” could just be a casual way to end the texting conversation.
I asked one of my directors today - she is not yet 40 and she also didn’t know the winking emoji was flirting.
Maybe people consider the source and recognize that if it comes from your middle aged (female) partner (with many kids and a sensible haircut) it’s not meant as an innuendo?
I used to have an incredibly conservative, sweet and naive office managing partner who insisted on using the expression “roll your own” when speaking about repeatable processes. 🤦🏻♀️ I’m not sure what he thought he was rolling....
Sounds like a creeper
Uhm how do I take this post down now that it’s past 20 minutes.
Borderline quid pro quo. Not over the line yet, but something to be cautious of. I’d just say thank you without the reference to owing him
I wouldn’t read too much into the emoji given his age. My dad dishes out winky emojis like nobody’s business but he definitely doesn’t mean anything weird by it. It’s like the equivalent of us adding “haha” to the end of a sentence.
But if it gives you a weird vibe OP, you’re completely within reason to distance yourself from him.
How are you connected to him?
If you don't know him through work or were not introduced by someone, this would be really off.
Creepy, I personally don’t like it. But if you do buy him coffee, just be safe about it and make sure you feel comfortable the whole time.
Agree... and Trust your gut. A 55 yo client of mine sent something similar to me; I ignored my gut bc my friends and coworkers said it would be fine, and ended up on the most awkward 3 hour date of my life.
I understand why you are suspicious. I’d suggest being careful.. that said, i don’t think there’s data to assassinate the guy as a power tripping creep. “😉 »
THANK YOU EVERYONE. From all the responses, I think I understand what’s going on and how to respond now.
The amount of responses and shares within less than 24 hours is making me nervous lol 🥵. This person could be in this bowl too and if he just really meant well in a professional way, I’d feel really bad. So please let this sink, and DM me if you have any other comments 😊.
Don’t feel bad. You did the right thing crowdsourcing this. And if he is reading this (which is highly unlikely) at least he will have learned to proceed with caution.
F 🐠 here: FWIW I’ve experienced inappropriate attention and physical touch from two male supervisors in two different jobs and each time he started by communicating this way - seemingly innocuous at first. And the gaslighting message that “you’re overthinking it” is a classic manipulation tactic.
I am so glad I’m retiring within the next couple of month - the environment is getting painfully difficult to navigate. What will it be like in 10 years? No one will communicate with anything but curt business language (both inside and outside of work). No laughing, no kidding, no joking. So, let’s keep it clean folks. How about a joke? Q:What’s brown and sticky? A: a stick. Good luck all!!
Yeah I think we all see it. If you are 20 something it’s like a life requirement to do one of three things every day, be a victim, be offended, or use the word creepy.
Is B’s name coffee?
NO 🤣
Won’t jump the gun...coffee doesn’t hurt ...people could often be genuine...so be open ...watch out for any signs which indicate otherwise...If they do Capgemini is committed to an ethical workplace & you know you’re rights!!...
Whoever posted this response is clearly over 45. How do I know? Let.....me....see....