Related Posts
Bowl Leader
Who's free tn and wants to mingle? 26/m
Anonymous User
Any single girl in Bangalore?
25 M
Single 25 F. Any single males 25-30 yrs on here?
Rising Star
Any female fish want to hang out tonight? ☺️
More Posts
Rising Star
Bowl Leader
How do you give back to your community?
Additional Posts in Relationships
Conversation Starter
Pro
Rising Star
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Rising Star
At the risk of sounding puritanical, I’ll give it to you straight anyways.
A woman, especially one who is attractive, likable, and generally desirable, is likely going to be used to the man paying for the first few dates and has that as a standard of politeness and dating etiquette. It’s just the way it is. Trying to go against that established norm will be a turn off to the majority of feminine women.
When I first met my boyfriend he paid for almost all our dates. After we became an official couple, we started to split things more equally. I am happy to contribute to the relationship financially. But if he had asked me to go Dutch when I was just getting to know him, I would’ve been turned off and questioned if he actually liked me all that much. Again, it’s just etiquette in the early stages for the man to pay.
Sounds right to me!
Rising Star
If a guy asks me for coffee or a drink and is too cheap to pay for that, then I would never see him again lol. IMO- the first date (especially if you meet on an app) is more of a meet and greet and should be low pressure and quick (30-60 minutes), also with an easy out if it's dull. I don't want to go on a dinner date and find out 15 minutes in and that the dude can't hold a conversation.
Ty
Sadly this is the trend I'm seeing
I think it's really part of the modern American dating trend; we live in a diverse country.
I laugh at my friends and make fun of them for going dutch.
In my home country, I always pay, and in fact I have to
"I pay, you eat" literally the words I uttered to my future wife as she reached for her purse on our first date. I was legitimately offended. I'm old school: the man pays not just the first date but EVERY date.......
They're both taken......
Rising Star
You don’t have to do anything. If a guy didn’t offer for me I’d never see him again though. But I’m one person, my dad says many women split dates with him.
If a man asks to split the bill , of course as a professional woman, I can pay for myself. But I wouldn’t go on another date with this man
I've never not had a guy pay for the first few dates.
Do yourself a favor and if something is a “trend” don’t follow it. I was born into the wrong generation.
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But in the same vein the person you go on the date with doesn’t have to go on a second date with you regardless of what you do.
When I was single and was dating I just went in with the expectation that I would be paying and if the date offered to split it, offered to leave the tip, or just offered me some cash or Venmo for their part sometimes I would accept other times I would tell them not to worry about it.
Bottomline is I plan on being able to pay for both and pending on how they act etc sometimes I pay for everything sometimes we split etc.
We’re talking about paying for coffee? Not even a dinner? Pay it if you ever want to see them again.
I agree on the if you ever want to see them again, but most girls would cut the date short if coffee goes dutch
Why don't you want to pay for her coffee or drink?
Id never go out with that person again. Beautiful women have options and a guy paying is a positive indication
Good grief, are you kidding? If you invited her then you pay for her. If it's a case of you and another employee were walking to your cars after work and one of you said "Hey, want to have a coffee before you go home?", then that would be assumed that each of you were separate entities. You can't honestly be suggesting that you're too cheap to pay $5.00 for her coffee?! I wonder how the Dutch Treat situation is working for your friends?
You pay. Hopefully she offers and your response is “you take care of next time” and of course you don’t let her.
It’s a nice gesture at least to offer to pay. I am a girl and I always pay no matter who I am out with. It’s part of my culture. I would love if someone offers to pay for my meal/drink.
I never expect it from a guy, but I hope for it because I'm usually pretty broke. 😹
For me, it all depends on how I like him on whether we go out on a second date. But whether he paid or not will usually go into the decision making.
I would consider myself a feminist and I still find it romantic if a guy pays for me. It makes me feel like he can take care of me (not that I need it), and that he's prioritizing my needs/wants.
Also, I've dated a lot of broke guys, since that's the income bracket I'm in. And generally those guys that I've dated haven't been as reliable with keeping a job, or just having their life together.
So, I would say that that simple act of paying for the first few dates, at least, says a lot to me, as a woman. I can't speak for all women, but I'm definitely not surprised by the overall sentiment of these comments.
F here- To be honest I don’t mind splitting in the dating stage and offer to split, but NEVER on a first date. My general rule is that for a first date whoever asks pays, and I don’t ever ask first. I’m not trying to argue whether it’s right or wrong but it’s still a generally accepted societal norm for men to do so in the early stage and if they can’t even be bothered to pay on the first date that very much signals that they’re not interested.
This is what a close friend of mine told me, she said the guy should always pay on the first date, it's not a rule but it's an etiquette/manner kind of thing.
But the second date onwards, the girl can offer to pay.
Thanks guys, no wonder my friends never had 2nd dates and I literally laugh at them
But it's also a trend I'm seeing nowadays 🤦♂️where guys aren't paying for their date
Well then you are also seeing the trend where your friends don't get a second date with anybody!
Do you want a woman who likes to play the more traditional role in a relationship or someone who takes charge and leads the relationship? If you want the latter, going Dutch might be a good way of weeding out the former types.