Advice on a friend relapsing? He went into inpatient last fall and left after an excruciating detox and 20 days. I randomly walked into a lounge in my gym and found him watching pregame with a beer.

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Unfortunately, you can't force anyone to stop. They need to be willing. I like the word pliable. You have to watch and wait. Be available when they are ready.

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I have not even 2 years sober so I still feel like I’m finding my way. I have never had a conversation about his recovery, only texted him once to invite him to a meeting. He is very private— I only know details because his wife confided in me while he was away.

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I would not tell the wife.

Chances are he’s gonna need your help sooner vs later and he’s gonna need to trust you. Just try and keep close ties until the inevitable happens

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Does he have a sponsor or someone from detox that you could contact and who could check in with him for you? Maintains your trust but might possibly help avoid the inevitable and its consequences.

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Second the above, wholeheartedly.

Thanks all. Do I tell his wife?

This doesn't help much, but that's a very personal decision. It's got to depend on whether you think that will lead to a productive outcome.

It is! And I can’t believe I would put it out there on fishbowl. I just don’t want to do something or not do something and regret it. Thanks all

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