Advice? There is a newer colleague that joined the company and is on one of my projects. He is more senior than I,with great experience in the project we are pursuing. The problem is that he is a bully. He doesn’t listen to me, and has been highly critical of me and my work. I have great relationships with other leaders and peers. I professionally stood up to him for the bullying one on one, and he entered an HR complaint against me. I was found innocent of misconduct. How do I move forward?

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From one PM to another, I would document things on your side. This is mostly to protect yourself.

Until you are reassigned, this season is going to strengthen your conflict management muscles. So, picking up a book or doing some YouTube /LinkedIn videos might help.

Have you had any conversations with your manager about the situation? Sometimes managers can help with strategies to move forward.

The question I have to ask myself in these scenarios - if someone else (I pick a favorite boss) shared the same feedback on my work - would I have the same response? Is there a nugget of truth that I need to learn under this person’s gruff and my filter.

Bullying is not acceptable. There are better ways to present information. But as PMs, it is our prerogative to sift through the noise, not take it personally, and attempt to apply the information if it makes sense.

Remember: You don’t have to stay in this role. You don’t have to prove anything by staying in this role.

Me myself and I - I would be asking my manager for a reassignment (or looking for another role).

likesmarthelpful

In terms of my work - his scrutiny is unfounded, it was a tactic of cutting me down and control. I’m using the templates approved by the PMO. He never took time to understand the project, why certain steps or strategies were chosen, and came in criticizing. His predecessors led us down the path we are on, as well as the sponsors of the project.

I had multiple meetings with him and provided access to the documentation to get him up to speed, and he wasn’t listening to understand, only to respond (which often included criticism).

The kicker is that the project was canceled due to funding issues. We met to discuss close out activities and where we may want to pivot the overall initiative. He was again treating me poorly and I brought up that I didn’t like the way he was treating me. In group meetings, he accepted ideas from men on the team, but didn’t listen to me. It’s after that meeting that he entered a complaint against me to HR. I’m sure it was retaliation/ to protect himself because he probably thought I would enter a complaint. I’ve worked with sexist men throughout my career and was not planning on reporting him, but was definitely strategizing on how to leverage my work relationships to protect myself from him.

The bigger problem and why I care about working on this particular set of initiatives is that it is the direction I want my career to go. I don’t want his job either, so not sure why he is so threatened by me. I want to lead the initiative on the business side, he is on the IT side. It’s a massive cross functional program, super exciting work. It will pick up once the company settles some financial issues, we just couldn’t keep pursuing it this year.

First step would have been a very very light suggestion that you’d like him to consider your ideas (no mention of bullying). You probably already did this.

The next step -
If you “stood up to him”, that required a 3rd person to be present.

The bible says by the MOUTH of 2 or 3 witnesses, let every word (truth) be established. - 2 Cor 13:1

So much wisdom the bible offers for how to move in corporate. He would have never been able to report you if a witness was present.

Moving forward, you will just have to learn how to work with him. Every company has a bully & ive learned even switching companies, you will run into another bully. Best to learn how to deal with them now - lower your ego and play their game. Gas them up. Gas their work up. Feed their big ego. Do what you have to do. Their ego (pride) will be their downfall, eventually. That’s Bible, also.

likesmart

What…. Did I just read…

Never ever complain to HR about anything. If you find something truly egregious get a lawyer first.
You admitted he knows more than you, maybe you should take his direction.
Most probably he’ll never take you on one of his projects.

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I hope I don’t have to work with him on projects, he’s unpleasant.

He knows more than me on one niche area, but I’ve spent my career in the industry and have a wealth of knowledge to make the project successful. I have listened to him regarding his expertise and ideas, the problem is that he doesn’t listen to me and respect my work and ideas. It is supposed to be a partnership but he wants control and authority.

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