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I am a father of 2, and don’t agree that people with kids should get any preferential treatment. It is up to us to figure out how to pull the equal load and balance professional career with family obligations. Just because I decided to have kids doesn’t mean a childless coworker has to pick up slack.
It may also be fair to point out that most fathers in the firm have a wife who stays home or works otherwise flexible hours and therefore bears the brunt of childcare duties. As a mom, I have less flexibility because of my role.
Why do so many people in FB ( and society) Jump down people’s throats so quickly rather than trying to understand their viewpoint? It seems like it is happening more recently ( without having busy season as an excuse for the frayed nerves). Sometimes it is okay to agree to disagree.
While I don’t agree with the premise of EY4’s premise of kids being used as an excuse, I have seen more validity in OP’s comment than many of you would think.
Over the course of my career I have seen very few people who would expect someone to not leave and take care of a sick child - but many would question someone who wanted to leave to take care of a sick adult family member or friend who didn’t have anyone else.
I have also seen people given slack to go to a PTA meeting or school play, etc. But when the single person needs time to take a car to the mechanic or take care of something for their home, someone will note that they were out and wonder why they couldn’t do it on “off hours” without considering that they have no one to split those chores with.
When it comes to a trip out of town - again many times the person with kids gets excused.
All of those things should factor into comp adjustments, bonuses and promotions, and become less of an issue as the industry truly embraces flexibility and work from home, the older generation retires and you gain more seniority and therefore control over your own schedule - but there are still differences.
Back when I was a senior I was at a firm where this was so much of an issue that i found it easier to call in sick than to take an extended lunch to take care of something. I never felt that parents there took advantage, but the partners definitely gave them flexibility that people without kids did not get. Needless to say I didn’t stay there long.
OP - if you truly feel like you get the short end of the stick regularly and it’s not just sporadic, and/or that it is endemic in your office, you should talk to HR, your manager or a partner. But before you do that be honest with yourself about whether they also cover for you with some regularity under other circumstances. Is it only one parent you feel you need to pick up slack for? If so, can you work with that person less?
But if this post was just a thought you have occasionally or the result of something that just happened, feel free to vent and have faith that the situation will even itself out and it’s not a “forever” thing- and in the meantime tell yourself that you are performing a kindness for someone that is making a difference in their lives. It may be small consolation, but it might make you feel better.
Only one solution: Get a fake wedding ring and put some pics of kids on your desk and pretend you have a family too.
There is no point explaining to a wall. Talk to me when you actually have kids that depend on you for everything!
It’s easy to assume that just because someone has a child that they are going to not provide the same level of effort going forward. FALSE. I would say that people with kids on average have to work harder and smarter in order to put food on the table. They are not just working for themselves but also their kids. It becomes critical to perform due to people that are depending on you. I used to have similar thoughts as you until I had children and see the difference. Also, if someone isn’t performing as they should then their rating will take care of it eventually.
You said it all brethren
I'm just saying, but children are always, always most important. They are human beings who need their parents and who don't deserve to be sidelined for anything. It's a leadership problem if the work of employees with kids is just piling up on other people.
No one is saying otherwise. But there is a difference between the responsibilities parents have toward children vs. adults toward their dates.
This is disgraceful, you need to be more sensitive. People with families go through a lot of uncertainties. Flexibility helps them work better though.
PwC2 Exactly.
YES. My firm caters so much more to parents, at the expense of those of us without kids. It’s infuriating. My time *isn’t* less valuable because I don’t have kids. 😑
You have to set your own boundaries for what is important to you. If that’s HH with friends, a date, whatever. Make sure your team knows it’s important and happening
I am sorry if OP met parents who don’t put in the time because they have kids but to assume that people who have kids don’t work hard is absurd and ignorant.
I am a single mom and yet one of the best performers and the best utilization rate. Do I leave to get my son from daycare at 5 ? Yes, also, at 5 am or at 11 pm you see me online working hard. By the time my staff get to work, I already reviewed their workpapers and gave them comments knowing that they will make it to work before me.
Do I care if my teammates want to leave at the same time as me to continue working from home ? Can’t even care what they do, I just need them to submit things when they do, I just need them to be at the client site during the core business hours.
Busy season is different and I don’t go home at 5 pm every day, I have to hire a nanny at least most nights during Busy season.
The crazy thing is that you are complaining now because you don’t have kids but one day it will be your turn to want others to understand. People should stop being selfish. I was a staff too and my manager had kids and we worked well together.
Flexibility and communication is key. I just wish people wouldn’t generalize things .
Everything you said sis!
I have kids and i’m tired of picking up the slack for my single coworkers.
Couldn’t agree more. I have 3 kids and literally am always picking up slack for everyone else, not the other way around. The problem is there are people both with and without kids that are inefficient and can’t finish their work period. So others have to pick up the slack. But when it’s someone with kids everyone just assumes the problem is balancing their work and home lives when in reality it’s just lack of planning and efficiency.
PWC3: You are one in a million. Where I work, the kids are always an excuse the parents trot out for everything: missed deadlines, tardiness, early dismissals. That is what I truly find disgusting. If one chose to procreate, then deal with the consequences. Why do those with kids get a bigger health care subsidy than the rest of us? Also disgusting !
Because they can spell maternity and paternity.
People with kids, especially women, are the hardest working people in my office.
This is...not a good post. Do you complain about sick people too?
This is the most ignorant post. There will always be people that “get out” of working for various reason. Parents, single young professionals, etc. Put your head down and do your work.
So go have some kids then if you think that is better work life balance.
Also, this isn’t true for everyone. I had my son while in college. When I started at PwC I did not feel comfortable telling anyone I had a child because of how judgmental people are. I don’t use my kid as an excuse to leave early or push my work onto others.
I have kids and the other day my coworker left early to take care of her dog while I stayed back to finish her work. I actually felt bad for her and didn’t mind at all. I think in general there should be more accountability in this profession. If I have to leave early to do something then I should be able to log on later to finish my work and not expect others to do it for me. But I will get off my soapbox now.
I see a lot of the comments saying “when it’s your time, you will understand” and that is what scares me the most. Cause I don’t want any kids but I don’t want to be alone, I want to eventually find someone. I work deals, so there is constantly clients asking things to be delivered in two hours, or the report is not for next week anymore, it’s for now!
So naturally the ones without kids are always taking care of the emergencies if they happen after 5pm.
I never say no, cause making someone leave their kid is never an option anywhere, but makes me rethink if I wanna be in PA in the long run, even though I love my job.
Will I ever have a life if my only reward for working hard is getting more jobs and travelling to the worst places? And it is not even a rank matter, cause in the end of the day, the childless ones are always in the office running after things, be it managers, directors or partners.
And after the fires are put out, I have to start doing the “regular” work. So when my colleagues get back to work at 10:30 pm, there we are, also still working. But the difference is that while you were spending valuable time with your loved ones, I was running to get the deliverable out.
So I believe that is the point people are making.
We understand it is not your fault, but it makes us think if it is worth for us in the long run.
Honestly, getting back online after kids are in bed and early in the morning before the house is awake makes us wonder if this is worth it, too. Most industry jobs don't have the same time commitments, so fortunately, most of us with children will not stay in PA long term.
Wait till you’re in their shoes. What do you think those people did when they were single in PA? That’s like whining about how the partner gets to leave early or never comes to the job site.
Agreed.
Wrong! What an awful, elitist attitude. Just because we chose not to contribute to the world’s overpopulation, you don’t get a free pass.
GT2 - as a mother of 5 kids, I take offense to your view. I have NEVER viewed my time any more or less valuable than another colleague’s time. If I felt I needed more time off for my personal matters, I went part-time and took a pay cut. Only at that point did I feel I was in a position to say my time was worth more - because I wasn’t being paid the same! When I went back full-time, I had to put in the effort just like everyone else. EVERYONE’s time is important, and EVERYONE deserves flexibility to achieve their own personal goals/desires. I may need more flexibility with the hours I work to juggle kid/nanny schedules, but I don’t work less by any means (in fact my utilization/hours are much higher than most of my team). In my experience, you are your own worst enemy when it comes to flexibility. Until you view your ‘life’ as important as ‘work’, you continue to give in. Many people don’t feel they hit that tipping point until they are parents. Does it mean, single or childless colleague’s time is less value able - absolutely not! But spreading attitudes like yours are not helping people to see their time is equally valued.
The director on my team with a kid is constantly traveling and she works long hours. I honestly haven’t seen this type of favoring in our office.
used to think the same before I had a kid. now I get it. I don't work less either, I am actually more cognizant of my time to be efficient and get through my work or work before or after being at the office or while on cell phone responding to things so I accomplish all of my duties both at work and home.
I’m old. I have kids. I’m tired of picking up the slack for the staff.