Related Posts
Mentor
More Posts
Rajma is bae 😍
Pro
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
Sign Up to see all discussions
- Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
- Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
- Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
"" is an unusual email domain. If correct, please proceed to the next step
Messaging rates may apply
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Share
Embed this post
Copy and paste embed code on your site
Preview
Download the
Fishbowl app
Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile
Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl
Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl
Messaging rates may apply
Haha all the damn time. I too have no college degree though, so I always remind myself that I chose to do my career on hard mode.
I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others, so I try and be specific. There's no point comparing myself to the woman with no kids and a Harvard degree who is a CMO at 28. But when I look at people I grew up with, the people with the lifestyle I want, the number of kids in the same geographical area...I always find I'm doing really well after all
It's easy when you compare yourself to others but do you actually want their version of success? Would you want to be CMO at 28 if it meant sacrificing other parts of your life like time with friends or hobbies? Personally not interested so I don't let comparisons like that get to me.
I do all the time. I even get to somewhere I want and then feel like it's not enough. For me, I just moved to a new country, which is what I wanted, and I suddenly feel like I haven't achieved much ha. Who would have thought!
I'm currently trying to be present and find joy in little things like gardening or reading. We don't have to live this high life to feel like we've achieved enough, that's just the death trap of comparison.
It’s never going to be enough. What’s dangerous is using other people’s definition of success as your own benchmark. As long as you’re not doing that, all good and you’re just a very self driven person.
Also make sure to celebrate your small milestones. Something else I found that can lead to self doubt too much is lack of self appreciation. You’re feeling this not because of you are not successful, but you’re a really great person that always want to learn and grow.
I know there are friends who are more successful than me and that I’m more successful than some friends. There are some things I am envious of my friends and I’m sure some feel the same about me.
Here’s my story.
I’m 40. I have a good job at a good company and I’m set to make 6 figures by middle/end of next year. I have a great WLB and I have no desires to move up in my company. I am very good with my money and I save when needed and splurge when I feel the need without feeling bad. My home will be paid off in 5 years (paid off in 20 years instead of 30) and my car will be paid off by end of next year (a year early). I started traveling in 2021 and have been taking 2-3 trips a year (out of state and internationally). I’m finishing school at the end of this year which is paid by my company so I don’t incur any school debt. I just got back into my favorite hobby which is running and weight training bc I gained a lot of weight due to Covid and all the other crap from the last 3 years. I do volunteer work and started fostering dogs.
I probably need to start back up with therapy again to understand the root of my unfulfilled feelings.
Wow! Hearing your story, I’m extremely proud of the person you have become and how responsible you are being in your professional and personal life.
It’s absolutely not fair what happened in your childhood but you didn’t have any choice in the family you were born into. But you can choose to make peace with your story esp now that both your parents are deceased and are no longer around to give you the apology you might want to hear, even if they wanted to.
Again, some questions for you (you don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, but these are for you to dig into if you desire): if we look at your childhood as your life training for this lifetime, how would you now reframe those events that happened that once made you feel powerless? How have they prepared you for this life? You can now choose to tell your story that makes you feel powerful!! And what do you now need to tell your story that makes you feel powerful? Further questions to help you make peace with your parents: how were your parents’ upbringings like that might have made them into who they were? How were their parents/ childhoods like? How were they seeking their own power/peace through the activities they engaged in?
Working with a therapist might help you further uncover your past and find not just peace but power in your story. Because how you chose to lead your life given your childhood speaks nothing but power. I truly hope you also find that for yourself. Hearing your story inspired me today and I hope that you find a way to tell it that makes you feel inspired every single day. Best of wishes, sister!! ❤️
We all do! I think it is completely normal to feel like that, just remember that of you are feeling that way, it means that you are at a point in your career where you are stretching yourself and learning, and that’s so valuable because it means you are working on becoming a better version of yourself, we all have different backgrounds and have a personal story . When I feel that way, I try to look at the past and remember how much I have achieved, and that empowers me to work harder!
How are you defining success here? Title increase? More money? Looked up by others? What happens on the days when you feel fulfilled and what doesn’t happen on the days that you don’t? Questions like these might help you lead to the kind of success you are truly wanting for yourself.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting more. It’s an innate human desire to want to expand as much as possible. It’s also possible that we might be using professional success to compensate for the peace of mind we truly crave. I see this dynamic with most of my family. Not saying that’s what’s happening here. But throwing it out there in case it resonates. You’re the only person who knows what you truly want. As a person who has not let any limitation get in her way in the past, I’m sure you won’t let this one overtake you either :) best of luck to you!!