At the donor egg phase and just not dealing with it well. Having all kinds of regrets if I tried hard enough. Maybe should have ate better, tried all these different things. Did I do IVF too quickly? Some say IVF makes your eggs worse. Is this true???

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I don’t know what you’ve tried or not tried but I can 100% that if you’ve decided to move to donor eggs, you did everything you reasonably could and this is the best decision for you. This process costs us so much - financially, emotionally, mentally, physically. It destroys relationships, friendships and careers. I totally understand having these thoughts. I finally came to terms with needing a surrogate after 8 FETs and 6 miscarriages. I’m still not dealing with it well, I don’t understand what went wrong, why my body failed me so badly. Sometimes I think maybe if I cut out gluten dairy sugar alcohol caffeine a little bit longer, got a bit more sleep, was less stressed about work, maybe one of the embryos would have stayed. But in my more rational moments, I know I did everything I could and I reached my limit. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s so hard getting to this stage. Stay strong, I’m here if you want to chat.

likeuplifting

Please go easy on yourself. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things and making proactive decisions - own that 🙌

I’m sure there are studies that support this but based on my personal experience, IVF does not make your eggs worse. It was the opposite in my case.

- 1st round IVF I had very poor stats for egg quality, but eventually had successful frozen transfer and 1st baby.

- 2nd round for second baby my stats had improved a little and it was a good round in terms of embryo quality.

- When 2nd baby was 6 months old I got pregnant spontaneously. We lost that baby due to chromosome issues when I was quite far along, so obviously embryo quality wasn’t good, BUT I had never in my life even got pregnant spontaneously before so that seemed like something of a win.

This is absolutely not a “keep trying and it will happen” post - Those views are so unhelpful, harmful, and it’s just not true in so many fertility cases. Only point is that my egg quality seemed to have been gradually improving after IVF.

Congratulations on being at the donor egg phase. I hope you choose a great donor and have great success. Keep doing what you’re doing.

likeuplifting

Thanks all. Just having all kinds of doubts now and if I even want a child now :( just want to cry that I'm having so many mixed emotions and if i was younger i could see a brighter future but I'm in my 40s.

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