Best way to casually come out to coworkers?
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11/3 Thread (General) :
Rising Star
Hey sharks
I got offer on Citiustech Healthcare Technologies
May I know how WLB in this company, I see in glassdoor and ambitions contains positive and negative. Is it worth to join? Is it useful for me to enhance my career for long run? How about the retention pay? If we leave the company we need to pay entire retention pay?I have other wipro and CTS, which company is better to join?
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Why do you need to come out? I assume you're talking about being homosexual. I don't ask about personal stuff like that to anyone because I don't need to know. If it comes up as conversation then just reply casually with the name of your partner. No need to make a big deal out of it.
I'm of the opinion that the more normal you act about it the easier people will accept you.
My intern is gay. He never announced it to anyone, but he talks about his boyfriend like any of us would talk about our SO while chitchatting with coworkers. I know everyone's journey is different, but I think this was the best way to handle it.
^total straw man and misrepresentation of what PwC2 was saying. PwC2 was not saying that being gay is not "normal". They are merely stating that you don't need to make an announcement of your sexual preferences to the team. Instead let it come about naturally. If someone asks what you did during the weekend you respond "me and my prtner went to the movies" or something. It's not the fact that OP is gay, it's that having a team meeting to announce your sexual preference is awkward regardless of being gay or straight. If your team member held a team meeting to tell everyone they were straight it would also be awkward. The team isn't sitting around wondering about your sexual preference as if it's a big news event they need to be made aware of immediately. Just let it flow through naturally through conversation.
Mention something about your life, and when they act surprised, say "well it's not a secret." In my experience this immediately makes them accept since they don't want to be out of the loop.
Your co-workers don't need to know your business. What you do in your private life, should be just that, private.
Wow. Um, ignore Pwc 2 because you being yourself doesn't have to be "normal" by their standards. Join a firm that doesn't require you to fit their standards - remember this is 2017.
OP - it's important to just be yourself. Talk about what interests you and if you have someone in your life than share that. Don't hide behind pronouns (or switch pronouns from he to she). Use names when talking about those in your life. It's more about you being comfortable with being your self than "sharing your private life". Everyone talks about what they do outside of work. You can also get involved with your firm's LGBT+ ERG and meet others.
If someone is judged or surprised that's their issue. It's 2017, people need to be accepting. If they're not they need to keep it to themselves. If they treat you differently and make a hostile work environment for yourself then don't hesitate to go to HR. I don't think it will be an issue though, since the far majority of people couldn't care less about ones sexuality.
Manager 1 thanks for mansplaing for pwc2. Gosh we are so lucky you are here to help us understand!!!
RSM1 someone had to explain since you obviously missed the point. Either that or you deliberately ignored his/her point so that you could push whatever agenda you're trying to push. Not sure what your issue is. Everyone is saying that it's Ok to be gay and it's nbd. Why are you making this so hard?
RSM1 why are you assuming genders?
Just mention the name of your lover.
They probably can tell anyways?
SA2 I totally disagree that people can tell, that's normally what makes it harder. When people assume your sexuality it's harder to break that norm, because then it's like this big reveal and an event. I agree with TA1 the way to handle it is not to assume and just listen when people talk.
I agree with most suggestions. When people ask about your weekend casually mention your SO by name. Often, when someone says "My partner and I went to the movies" people get it and few will act surprised.
Since we spend so much time at work, mentioning aspects of our personal life is pretty usual.
Feel comfortable talking about it and don't assume that everyone will be judging or surprised.
@TA1, you're wrong. The firms policies don't apply only to "liberal" areas. If someone is in violation of firm policy in "conservative" areas HR takes action. Don't make things up.
Don't make a big deal about it. If you don't it's likely no one else will. When you mention your SO just talk about them casually like you would anything else. If someone has a problem with it then so be it, don't feel ashamed just be yourself and love you for who you are.
RSM1, you seem bitter and angry. Try not getting so worked up...
M1 being typical M1. Accuses someone of straw man-ing then turns around and does it in the same thread 😂
@M1 - thanks for being a typical manager and immediately assuming the worst. 🙄. My comment wasn't at all about HR policy. My comment was about your last sentence where you said "the far majority of people couldn't care less about ones sexuality." Unfortunately, I live in a very conservative area where people do care. I don't approve or condone that behavior, and I would be the first to report it to HR if they brought that behavior into the workplace. However, you can't make a blanket statement about about most people not caring -- sadly, that is incorrect.