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Let's keep this for August, 2020
Game of horse, anyone? 😆
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The secret is - that it is really hard.
You are not alone in this, bowls like this and colleagues are very helpful to have a vent or release with, but realize, this is your life and in the moment you may say “why!?” but then there is that moment, that first smile, that first word, etc. and you know exactly why.
My partner is due soon and we’ll have 4 kids just under 6 - let me tell you, sometimes it is chaos, but sometimes there are moments of peace or pure joy. All you can do is take it a day (or sometimes hour, or even 15 minute increments) at a time. As they get older teach them self-sufficiency and independence. Recognize and reward them for doing things on their own, even if it’s not quite right (as to not discourage them) and slowly but surely it doesn’t get easier but it evolves to become more manageable.
You are growing along with them and this all becomes your big beautiful and messy lives together as a family unit. Give yourself and especially your partner some grace and let things go, if not in the moment, then immediately after and recognize that you all rely on each other to make it work.
Absolutely love this, thank you for these words, very encouraging and what we needed!
At that age it's extremely difficult. Both kids have very different needs and you and your SO have to juggle them alongside your careers. My suggestion: if both of your careers are demanding, one person should take a step back at least temporarily to take more responsibility with the children. If your careers are not an issue (or if someone is already stay at home), then it's just understanding that both kids will have different routines.
It gets a lot easier after the youngest is at least 2. They can both go to daycare, will sleep through the night, and be able tell you when they want something instead of screaming :) power through it. It'll work out.
Oh man. I have a 2.5 yr old and second on the way next month. Plus a move to a new state in a few months. Not looking forward to losing rest of my hair.
Ah that is a lot of change, hoping your experience is better!
We just went through this and the first 5 months were absolute chaos for us. We just sort of threw our hands up in defeat and did whatever we needed to. After 5 months and sleep training the baby, things got much better. 1 piece of advice we got that helped was to ask the baby to wait. I know, sounds crazy, but occasionally when our older one asked for something and the baby was calm, we would turn and ask the baby to please wait while we helped the older one. Then, when the older one needed something and the baby was freaking out, we would remind him that the baby waited for him, and now he had to wait for the baby.
It's hard when they're really young. Set bedtimes and naptimes help, obviously. What are your problem areas?
Oh man what’s not a problem area - the 2 month old sleeps better through the night than the 2.5, both start crying at the same time, both need to eat at the same time, older one wants one of us to play with her, just feels like we are constantly juggling between the two all day.
Following, got a 3 year old and a 3 week old. This has been keeping me up at night
Good to know I’m not the only one!
Its hard. Set clear boundaries with your teams in terms of when your available or not. Routine is key. They likely wont have overlapping naps for a while. I now have a 3 and 1 yr old, starting to get a little better except now they fight with each other. What specifically did you want advice on?
You need to wait until the little one is ~4 months old, then you can get into a steadier routine. Before that they’re way too variable.
When my twins were 2.5 and we had a newborn, I was overwhelmed a lot. The baby was on a (sort of’ schedule but what I found helped was a couple of small things - I put out snacks in places where the twins could access without me so they could get things themselves instead of needing me. I tried to feed the twins meals on a really set schedule so I could then know when they’d be occupied for a bit. I also separated them a fair bit when they were tired (so divide and conquer in the evenings, letting the twins nap or rest and watch tv on our bed. We also made a little picture chart of activities and I would ask the girls what they wanted to do at breakfast and then I had little stations set up around the house to do those things so I didn’t have to keep taking things out and putting stuff away (a coloring station, a playdoh station, a water table station outside) and then at each spot I had a place for me to sit and feed the baby or a spot for her to sit (bouncer or playmat or whatever).
You sound like an amazing parent! Of course everyone is, but really this is awesome!
When mine were these sort of ages there was no way i could have managed to be this organized. I just took leave, and struggled through day by day until it got better…..which it did.
Don’t beat yourself up Op, nor expect smooth sailing. it’s freakin hard!!!
If you’re not already doing it this way, then recommend the parent who doesn’t usually take care of them be the one to put them to bed.
That’s me, and it involves a story (usually 10-20 min) and the same words said each night. And brush/floss of course.
I’ve got 7, 4, and an infant.