I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

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It hurts. It hurts so much right now. And it’s going to hurt for a bit.

I can tell you all the ways it could be worse, but it’s not going to help with the pain now.

Know that it’s better to know now. It might have been better to know before. But that’s in the past.

Know that you have a tribe behind you. And that we are sharing this journey with you. And some of us are a bit further that you and can tell you that it will get better.

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Feel free to reach out when you feel wobbly. Be strong and move forward no matter how much it hurts. There are no short cuts in this journey. Any short cut will make the pain go longer. And no one can tell you how long or short it will be. It’s different for each person.

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Yeah for some people words mean nothing. Stay strong. You don’t need this scum bag in your life.

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Location?

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Need a serious suggestions.
I've joined recently as Analyst and working from home( Bengal)..I really don't want to go right now, I don't have much saving tbh and I've a family issues right now and I think if I leave this time my family will be separated..going through a mental pressure..my training period is not over yet.I'm not sure whether analyst people have to go now or not but is there any way I can convince them to stay here atleast this year or is there any other way idk plz sugst

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Getting over heartbreak and having a full time job is torture lol. My boyfriend and I just broke up after almost a year of being together. It was such a beautiful relationship but ultimately he just didn’t love me. I love him so much. My mind knows that I deserve reciprocal love and I’m worthy, but I feel physically ill. My body hurts, my stomach is in knots, my head hurts. How is it that I have to mend a broken heart but also meet my billable hours lmao

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Anyone in the suburbs find it harder to make friends compared to the city? I don’t want to move back but I don’t know what else to do..

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GF is 32 and I’m 28. She wants kids within 2 years, understandably. I never envisioned having kids that early (more like late 30s), but I like her a lot. Anyone else gone through something similar?

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A guy who is claiming to be in love with me (a black woman and immigrant), is a conservative (pro-trump, anti-gun laws, denies that there is racism etc). Are those red flags to make me cut him off?

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Anyone else sickened by Amy’s use of her black kids as props? You didn’t have to tell us that those two black kids were adopted, but way to make them feel different.

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This is an emotional dump rn. It may be lack of social interaction but I'm really frustrated lately. I feel like I lost last 2.5 years of my life with ongoing lockdowns and job instability in the first half of the pandemic. I was 28 turing 31. I get good dates but -ve self talk
Inflation is high & coming from a low income family where you're supposed to help your parents is driving me nuts. Although I make a good salary, after rent, car insurance, there isn't much left (unfav currency exchange)

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Black mama here with a toddler and infant 👋🏾

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Why do some muslim men think that career women in their 30s become desperate and will significantly lower their standards? Someone with 3 kids that’s been divorced twice and isn’t even practicing just told my friend he’ll do her the favor of giving her children. The arrogance is mind boggling

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My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 8 months now. We talk every single day online and recently I went to visit her for around a month. It was great and it seemed like the relationship was stronger than ever. But one week back after visiting her, I felt a strange detachment from her and our conversation topic got repetitive and stale quick. Any advice?

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We get it, ghosting happens. But has it ever happened to you repeatedly by the same person? Cashmere Agency in LA calls me relentlessly and then ghosts me just as relentlessly. Sales Force has done it two or three times as well. I can’t help but laugh and think about how it feels like getting a text from an ex—this didn’t work out before remember? It’s only been a month I’m still me.

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Dyslexia! After having our kindergartener son tested (privately) related to ADHD, we were told he may have dyslexia too (which would explain why he struggles so much with phonics but is amazing at sight words). He has a very high IQ. As a voracious reader, I am finding myself unexpectedly distraught that something that I have loved so much will be such a struggle for him, and worrying that it will affect his motivation and may steer him away from things he may otherwise love.
Tips/Commiseration?

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Two of our students were killed today in a shooting, another two are in the hospital. Last week a student was killed in a different shooting. Admin barely acknowledged. How do we help our kids?

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I and my boyfriend have been dating over a year now. Our relationship in general is pretty smooth and sweet. The only problem is he has not come out to his parents yet. It was not an issue before the pandemic thing since we were just living in the city, being in our own bubble. But Covid happened and he moved back to stay with his dad. Since he is not out, he can’t pick up the phone call whenever I call him, he can’t tell his parents he is dating someone in the city. Cont.

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Hi everyone I am relocating to Hyderabad next month. Even though I look forward to meeting new people I can’t seem to ignore the fact that I will move away from family. My family situation is already complicated, my mom and dad are not on good terms so we don’t live together and when I move it’ll get worse. I am financially independent but I feel guilty for not being there for them. Is there any possibility of getting transferred to Gurgaon office(a lot closer to my home)if I talk to my manager?

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Hi,
To what and all places can I travel in Bengaluru for 2 days with family ?

1. Bannerghatta National Park
Please add on to this....

Not sober currently. But think about it.
What happened to all your mates when you stopped? Did they dump you (because you make them feel guilty for drinking)? And what if your wife drinks too?

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Any thoughts on open relationships? Has anyone tried one? I’m curious. Kinda wanna explore that but unsure.

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Do you ever get over an ex you loved?

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My brother-in-law (age 30) told us recently that he is transgender. How can we support him? (‘Him’ as we haven’t discussed pronouns yet). It was a surprise to us!

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Hi team,

I wanted to understand the hierarchy and possible CTC for joining Oracle financial as PMO!

YOE: 4.5

any inputs will be really appreciated

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Thoughts on the corporate strategy team at Visa? Trying to learn more about the regional vs global teams, salary (US btw), career progression etc. Thanks!

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Does anybody have any insight into working at Vestas? This is for a corporate counsel role.

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Guys, how is grade K/P3 at DHL IT Services?
What is the highest salary that can be offered for this grade ? Is it easy for next grade promotion ?

Any thoughts on buying the PRCH dip? One of the high valuation stocks that got killed the last 6 months; however strong analyst consent that this is a Buy.

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How much rent amount should I pay to get maximum tax deduction?

I’ve been in the SE role for over a 1 year now, coming directly out of undergraduate. My company’s pay is low compared to what I’ve seen at other companies but I do enjoy the work and the organization. When is it appropriate to ask for a raise and how long should I stay in the role before I start looking at other companies?

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Fellow data 🐟, plz recommend me something to do tomorrow. Existing weekend plans went up in smoke and I'm feeling like trying something new

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When they release DOJ? I got my offer letter already a week back .. BGV in process done with offer acceptance. When can i expect DOJ

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We need a better a singles bowl

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What's the variable component in s&p global , HR is saying only fixed component will be mentioned in offer. Pls guide...

Are you guys happy? I think I am! I love my life but also for whatever reason when someone asked me, I hesitated. What’s that about?

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Here is an insight for you all today—key elements to living life with purpose.

Finding purpose in your life changes the way you think, behave, and communicate with others. You lose track of time because you are too busy enjoying what you have at the moment.

To find purpose in your life requires three key elements:

1) Presence
2) Values
3) Challenges

Without these three elements, you can never feel fulfilled and live life with a purpose.

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Suite nights confirmed 5 days out then get to hotel and they mention I was upgraded at check in. Get to room and def not a suite, ask and they say they don’t have any now. Worth doing anything?

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Biden's rally yesterday looks lit.... Those little circles seem like a fun time

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Hi I have been selected for Zscaler and Eli Lilly as Learning & Development Specialist both for Bangalore location. Eli Lilly is paying 1 lac more than what I will be getting Zscaler (but in zscaler my reporting manager is from US). Which organization should I join?

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Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

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It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

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I just need some Brugal rum, Aventura or Romeo Santos songs on repeat all night…

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As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

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Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

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It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

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TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

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I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

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I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

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I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

likeuplifting

Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

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Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

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I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

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Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

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My partner of 5 years ended our relationship last night. I’m shattered and feel absolutely sick, and I know the healing isn’t going to be easy. We were on the verge of an engagement and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him.

I don’t know how to approach work during this time. I think I can get by, but I’m definitely not 100%. Should I talk to my boss about it? My team is close-knit and comfortable around each other, but I don’t know if it’s “appropriate.” What would you do?

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3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

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I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

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I ended my relationship of 6 years about 3 months ago bc he said he might regret not having kids later down the line. we were always on the fence but I’m leaning towards no. It hurts so much having to walk away from an otherwise perfect relationship. Wish this was easier…

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