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Rising Star
I think men also let things slide… it’s not just women.
Behind the logistics behind “conscious uncoupling,” it’s really hard for some coupled women to accurately assess what their dating options in the single world would be. It’s not like a job hunt where one can be more aware - based on prior success - what sort of next job you’ll get.
People like to maintain or keep improving in all areas of their lives - and in romance as well.
The idea of a 2nd partner being a downgrade vs. an upgrade to your current partner is probably top of mind for many. And if your current partner isn’t making you so unhappy that you’d prefer to be single, you’ll stay.
Also, it takes 2 to have problems, so it could be that you’d run into the same issues eventually in whatever relationship, so better to stick with the 1st partner and try to work on it together.
Seems to make sense
Chief
Yes, and those are the women that end up in awful marriages and act like they’re better than all their single friends
Awful behavior from men is overt that’s why it’s always criticized. But awful behavior from women is more subtle and passive aggressive that’s why it’s not talked about as much
Rising Star
It’s pressure from society, being single after 30 is super difficult so we do tend to settle.
I think your choice of words was what I had confusion with. If you’re living your life according to society’s pressures that’s what you’re feeling. your generation has so many more options than mine did and maybe that’s what you’re stating are the pressures. You can become a mom without being married and your education and career options are varied. Not saying motherhood wouldn’t be challenging as a single parent but you have the option.
I think it varies into two different camps of women. Women are inherently loyal and stick to their commitments so if they made the decision on a particular man being their "person", they take the man's poor actions as personal failure and fight like hell to make it work even when they're not the one that needs to change. Only when it becomes unbearable will they finally leave, and I really don't think they give a shit about other people's opinions by that point.
Then there is the second type of woman. Usually older, typically divorced for 2+ years, and fiercely independent. These women were the first kind of woman and said never again. These women will avoid commitment and keep a man at arms length. They will drop a man at any minor inconvenience because it is easier to be alone then to have to try to fix a man again. They tend to hate physical touch and their love language is acts of service. If you hurt one of these women after she lets her guard down, you better run.
I feel attacked.
Both women and men settle. Everything is a f’in hot take these days.
Enthusiast
As a single early 30s F, well put everyone. It’s a nuanced and difficult issue. It weighs on me almost every day. There is a lot of pressure both from society, and from our biological timeline once we hit 30s. Also relationships are complex, not at all simple (good partner vs bad partner). Sometimes I think of it as overall does this person detract from my life (sacrifices in time, investment, opportunity cost) or add (enrich, joy in sharing), but it’s not so easily quantifiable. Do I keep trying, especially after having invested my time and resources, or do I cut my losses and leave the sunk costs.
Enthusiast
I think all women do this to varying degrees. I’ve been with my partner for over 10 years and realized I let a lot of things slide just recently..
Enthusiast
Indubitably
Enthusiast
I mean, obviously yes. This is also applicable for men, too. It’s a shame, regardless of who is hurt in the situation
Everyone does, life isn’t a fairytale where everything will be perfect. Men and women put up with a plethora of things.
I put up with a lot from my parents, friends etc. if I dropped everyone in my life because of “inconvenience” then it would be empty.
A good Life isn’t born out of convenience but duty.
22 lol
I’m very religious so it comes from that.
It’s true but for another reason mostly. Women usually enter a relationship with the idea of committing, working together and having a family. So they think and act accordingly, working towards that goal, investing energy and planning everything in that direction. It often seems like throwing away all that just to rebuild it when there is a chance that things will change.
Rising Star
If you're not married by 30, you probably had divorced parents
Such an odd assumption. There's so many people waiting until later in life for personal and professional reasons that have nothing to do with childhood trauma or mommy/daddy issues.
If all guys are the same, why leave the evil you know for something that could be the same or worse?
Yes because nobody wants to be a single mom. Look at how shitty people talk about single moms on fb.